A few hours ago Chuck Palahniuk shared this on his Facebook page:
“What is the issue that is eating you up? What is the personal fear that you can’t resolve and you can’t tolerate? Are you getting old with fucking NOTHING to show for it? Then, write Invisible Monsters. Are you worried that your brain or talent isn’t capable of creating anything interesting or unique, and you’ll die and rot and be forgotten – failing everyone you love? Well, then write Diary. My point is, use the story to explore and exhaust an issue of your own. Otherwise, you’re just dicking around, playing “let’s pretend.” If you can be ruthless and honest about your own fear, you express something that other people can’t express. You can resolve your own anxiety – through research, discussion, experiment – and that freedom is what brings you back to writing.
What could you never talk about in a million years? Then, write about that.”
I agree with everything he said.
In a way, I always find it funny when people tell me that in order to be a writer, you need a vivid imagination. Or drugs. Or both. But the truth is, that you don’t.
Then there’s this simple question: Why do we write? And why do we feel at times that only the written word can express our deepest fears and emotions, our love and pain and hatred; basically everything we can’t speak out loud.
Truth be told, writing is a liberating experience. It’s like shouting in a crowded place. It’s a way of attracting attention.
In real life, I don’t really like to tackle philosophical issues very often. Actually, I don’t like to talk too much about life, money, love, and other important issues such as the physical impossibility of death in the mind of someone living. More so, I usually make fun of those issues.
Why do I do that?
Maybe because I’m shy, and that’s why I’m a writer in the first place. Or maybe because I know that the written word has a better chance of surviving the cruel passage of time. I’m not sure, but I know that most of the times, in real life, I do my best to act as shallow as possible. Serious conversations kind of bore me.
I just listen. I smile and nod and act like I’m interested in what everyone’s saying, and then I go home. I go home and I start to write. That’s when everything changes. Because I write about what I love or loved once, about what I hate, what I’m afraid of, what I’d like to see changed in this world. I write about ambition and passion and courage and pain, and there’s nothing for me to be afraid of.
Not the people I shamelessly turn into characters, not the real tragedies that I turn into words… because the same thing I do to myself. Every experience, every kiss, every heartbeat gets dissected countless times. Some of them find their way in my stories. And that’s a very painful process.
A lot of writers out there, if asked, will say that writing isn’t easy. But it’s not because of the rules you have to obey, or the conventions, or the need of a vivid imagination. Writing isn’t easy because you have to relieve the most painful moments of your life, over and over again, and then you have to write them down, hoping that they’ll matter to someone else other than yourself.
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Absolutely true; every word. Beautifully written. Thank you.
"In real life…I'm…" Shallow? Shy? Really? I wonder, because when I'm writing, I wonder at the boundaries, where the 'real life' starts and stops.
So, so true! Thanks for sharing. I must say that sometimes, when I share stuff that seems a bit too personal, family members say, "Why did you say THAT???" Not only is there that internal censor, there're all those external ones, too. That makes it even harder to write my own truth, but I'm learning to ignore all those voices and listen only to my own.
Holy mackerel! I think this may be the best thing I've read about writing (or any creative endeavor that comes from the heart) in a long time, possibly ever. I am going to spend a lot of time thinking about this (and maybe even doing it). Thank you.
Thanks for describing my daily nightmare. Only for me I'd have to say it's more terrifying than painful. Terror and I are great friends. It'll probably be first in the Acknowledgements section of my book.
What about the things we put into our stories that we have no experience with? Like my serial killer story; I've only watched movies and read books, I've never stalked or killed anyone (and I don't plan on starting anytime soon). What does that say about me?
It's not only about experience. It's about something you feel strongly about. I don't know if you read my short story, A Sad, Sad Symphony, but it's about a guy who's afraid he'll die before getting a chance to finish his magnum opus. I'm not dying and I'm not really planning to any time soon, but that's something I feel strongly about. Something I thought about, and tried to understand.
Probably the most difficult thing to do is for a male writer to write from the point of view of a woman. It's easy to do it, but it's infinitely more difficult to do it well.
Thanks, I needed this! I am so good at playing pretend rather than dealing with the issues in my life that I know will make my writing richer. Got to keep that in mind as I push through to the end of my novel. Thanks for the reminder.
Great post! I also think we write about those things, instead of talking about them because we can hide behind the written words; but not the spoken ones. We don't have to look anyone in the eye. Or witness their reactions.
They do matter. Thanks!
"Writing isn’t easy because you have to relieve the most painful moments of your life, over and over again, and then you have to write them down, hoping that they’ll matter to someone else other than yourself." ABSOLUTELY RELATE ESPECIALLY THE ENDING OF YOUR POST! LOVE THIS DESCRIPTION.
"Writing isn’t easy because you have to relieve the most painful moments of your life, over and over again, and then you have to write them down, hoping that they’ll matter to someone else other than yourself."
Absolutely! I agree with this so completely – that's what my blog is all about. But I do also like writing down the amazingly joyful moments too, and hope that they'll inspire someone else to look for joy in unexpected places.
Yes, I believe we write "ourselves", and sometimes we also write to discover what we know or feel on a more deeper level, to understand ouselves and the world better. So often we live life on the surface and don't really delve deeply into what lies below the surface, and that's why I write, to go there, to see what's holding it all up, holding it all together. I'm often amazed by what I discover. My latest post explores this more.
Excellent post. This is like a breathe of fresh air. Thank you for your inspiring words.
You capture something in this post that I've often experienced – that sense of paying lip service to various emotions and reactions to events while they are actually occuring – and then the liberation and soul-searching pain of raking over those emotions at a later time, alone – in thought and writing – to make sense of what was felt and experienced. I've always thought of this as the bringing together or thought and experience into an integrated whole – necessary for myself, valuable for the me that writes.
I express myself best through writing or speaking to a large crowd. One on one is sometimes difficult, especially if the other person is so enthusiastic about what they have to say that they do not listen or hear what I have to say. I like to write, but find myself allowing my EGO to block my writing by believing that if no one is reading it what is the point. I am learning to ignore my EGO when it tries to tell me that! Thanks for this post!
Thanks for this post. Writing has been an amazing experience. It helps to find inspiration in things one would not usually pay much attention to. It's a way to explore your thoughts and keep yourself occupied.
Well said.
Wow -this is one amazing quote! I am going to seriously consider it.. Thank you for posting!
"In a way, I always find it funny when people tell me that in order to be a writer, you need a vivid imagination. Or drugs. Or both." Haha why does Coleridge come to mind?
Nice post. Brutal self-honesty really does lead to brilliant writing.
Yes, you said it exactly right. That is why sometimes I just hate to go sit down and write. But when I start, it all comes tumbling out like some unstoppable train of garbage that is reeking in my head and finally has an outlet. I usually feel much the better when it's done, but then I worry how it will be received and I feel that naked vulnerability again. Funny how during the writing, I feel light and free at last. It is a strange business, this writing.
Wonderful piece, enjoyed it. So true all of it. Writing is not easy but life is not either.
To be honest, I write because I learn so much in the process. Writing is the best vehicle I know of that challenges the heart, mind and soul. It can elevate as well as deflate as it stretches us to see beyond what "is" to the eternal. I am gratefully and hopelessly addicted to writing, because I know that in the end there will be some small treasure discovered that I would never have found apart from the gloriously painful process of writing!
The last sentence is amazing. I agree – genius writing is feeling something so strongly that it spills out on paper. Sometimes hard to be that vulnerable though…something to strive for!
Some of the best things I've written have come at times when I've not exactly been happy. I'd say one of my most….effective scenes came just after an ex broke up with me.
Actually, I think one of the first things I said to my flat mate at the time (through the tears) was "It'll just make me a better writer."
Great post – thanks for sharing.
Brilliant.
"Writing isn’t easy because you have to relieve the most painful moments of your life…". So very true! It's writing as a transformative act…and that is painful.
Very True!!
I suspect a majority of writers, especially poets, are blessed with an Enneagram Type 4 personality…although at times it is a mixed blessing.
An insightful post indeed!
Well said Cristian. A writer must have a courage.
You already have tons of comments, but I can't help reiterating and sharing my piece of admiration. This is just perfect. You inspire me, thank you.
Cristian, this is right on. Personally I go to work everyday and feel so limited about what I can discuss that it pains me, so it's such a relief to come home and spill my thoughts onto my blog or elsewhere. Writing is where I can be myself and there's no policies, political correctness, or persnickety Pharisees around to belittle my big ideas or scoff at my private passions. Good job. I wish more people were as blatantly honest.
I feel like I am tapping into a forbidden place when I write…shifting my comfort level from a safety zone to a place where it seems only the truest things make themselves known to me…things that never appear in conversation. After your read, this became clearer to me. Thank you.
I write because I am compelled to write. Writing helps me to understand my world and my place in it. It also introduces me to new cultures and new places and people.
Interesting. I can see that, on the one hand, imagination is not actually required for much writing. On the other hand, I am often insisting that to write history one absolutely needs a developed capability to imagine because historians are constantly staring at texts and filling in gaps like a detective and then making an argument like a prosecutor to defend their interpretation of said texts, leaning on what was filled into said gaps. Fascinating! Thanks for this!
That quote you posted and your commentary just hit me right in the gut. For so long I have written drivel because i tried to fit myself into some box and ended up boring myself with my own writing. My current novel, which is the only one I have come close to finishing, is dark and disturbing and real and joyful and terrified, which is all the things I am in my daily life. Finally. Write what you know!
Reblogged this on Bittersweet Nostalgia.
I love how you write that serious conversations bore you but then you go home, start writing and come alive. Yes, yes, yes. I know exactly what you mean. I'm the same.
" And why do we feel at times that only the written word can express our deepest fears and emotions, our love and pain and hatred; basically everything we can’t speak out loud?" Why are so many in Drama Club so shy? I only know that the answer for each of us is probably very different, and each one absolutely valid! Thank you for the thought provoking story!
Too True.
"…I go home. I go home and I start to write. That’s when everything changes. Because I write about what I love or loved once, about what I hate, what I’m afraid of, what I’d like to see changed in this world. I write about ambition and passion and courage and pain, and there’s nothing for me to be afraid of.
Not the people I shamelessly turn into characters, not the real tragedies that I turn into words… because the same thing I do to myself. Every experience, every kiss, every heartbeat gets dissected countless times. Some of them find their way in my stories. And that’s a very painful process."
I always say that writing is like living twice. The first time we live, in the moment, is not real until it is dissected and understood on the written. When I don't write the story, I feel like it hasn't really happen. When I memorialize it on paper…it becomes real.
As soon as I read the title, I agreed with every word you had to say. The more you read someone's blog, the more you understand who they are.
Thank you for this. It has inspired me to go back to a writing project that I had abandoned.
I am with you on the shy part. I ain't too comfortable bearing my thoughts and feelings face to face with people and will put on my poker face. It is only through writing and doodling where I bare bits and pieces of my soul.
Great post! Just what I needed to read at this particular time. I love that "What could you never talk about in a million years?" Yes, that's exactly why I write! Except that, so often, I don't actually write it because I start to wonder if, as you say in your last sentence, the story will actually matter to someone else :-)
How true, you hit the nail on the head. I find relieving (them) quite cathartic, it's hoping they matter to someone else that is difficult, and painful. Great post. It seems every post I read lately is about some type of fear … maybe the universe is trying to tell me something.
I write because I have to. True, it can be very painful to relive certain moments through your words, but it can also be very cathartic. Having to really examine my feelings, my expressions, my emotions, through my words, helps me become a better version of myself. Writing personal stuff brings me to tears but it also helps me appreciate the personal stories of others more so than if I hadn't been on that journey myself.
My mind is more or less always in "writing mode." Whenever I hear, see, experience something I'm automatically converting it into an article, blog post, or piece of fiction. It's an interesting way to go through life, and makes it that much more fun.
Thank you for the quote and for your words.
That last sentence is a universal truth for most folks who call themselves writers. What a fantastic reminder of why its hard and why it matters.
Couldn't agree with you more!! Well said.
I agree, writing (and other arts, too) make you dig inside yourself to search for things you might not really like. But we also find beautiful things in there too.
Absolutely. As Maugham says "We don't write because we want to, we write because we have to."
Nice to know I'm not the only one.. ^__^a In writing (whether it' text, e-mail, or plain writing) I'm a more talkative person, but in real life if you talk to me and I don't have a passion in the subject I would just smile and listen or answer in very short, awkward-moments-in-the-making sentences.. Ugh, and I'm crap at making conversation. It just feels easier to express myself in writing. And sometimes harder too.. Dang, I sound antisocial. o___o
So, I really like cop shows, mystery, horror, comedy.. Well, mostly the first three and others related. And recently one (or two) of my favorite shows has a criminal as the main character.. And I'm rooting them on (yes, I don't want them to get caught).. But I also like a show where I want the good guys (the m.c.s) always win. What the hey? Why am I so.. Uh, chaotic?? #shrugs
And that clearly reflects on my writing. When I write I tend to over illustrate(?) the details (I'm trying to do it less though). And I'm currently writing a story with a cop that has a strong sense of justice (more or less :P). And revenge. I also have a story, that's kind of on hiatus, where the m.c.s, well, aren't actually good or bad. And has a supernatural genre too. Say, what does that say about me? (sorry this is turning into some sort of psychological therapy-something-session thing) And this comment is way too long… T3T'
Anyhow! I don't mind sharing this to total complete strangers, 'cause, well, you're strangers. You don't know me, I don't know you. No need to worry 'bout anything. :P
"Writing isn’t easy" I agree! But, to me, it was easier than to speak. Now, I try to write again, it is very difficult. And my mouth and my 'fingers' are silent!
This is so true. In the past I've tried ito write something that I thought would make a good story, but had no personal experience of. I found that these stories got nowhere. I got bored writing them as I couldn't relate to what I was trying to write. I can only write what I've lived or fear.
I can scarcely believe it, but I am apparently the only writer here who objects to the word,
"F—–g" being tossed into a comment as though the writer were addressing a group of simpering teens and used it to show how hip and "adult" he is. What have our language and our standards of taste (to say nothing of morals!) come to? LT B. A. Waltrip, USN (Ret.)
[...] Great post from Romanian writer/blogger Christian Mihai: [...]
Yes, I agree. I remember one time when I put a loy of myself onto a story, and I got a critique from a classmate that they thought that main character was mentally unstable. It was really hard to take, I cried, and I told myself I wouldn't make that mistake again. I stopped writing on my other blog out of fear of what people would think of me. But now I realize it wasn't a mistake. I started this new blog. I missed writing too much. Now I write whatever I want, I write me. And I love the idea of exploring your thoughts and feelings as a story, an exercise I will definitely try out.
Thank you for this post.
Reblogged this on This is your real mother speaking….
love it! if i wrote about all the sh(t i've been through most ppl would freak. I'd prolly need a psedonym or write anon no…seriously ! LOL but Not all the time
i wonder how'd it work to publish anonymously…
Very interesting stuff, Cristian, regarding what you and Chuck wrote! I find that, in real life… during verbal conversations with others, I tend to be (and remain) at a rather superficial level… not delving into "deeper" issues. Not to stereotype, but most people, it seems, (here in the Midwest, anyway) like to remain with rather mundane, day-to-day, regular (detailed) experiences. Going beyond that often makes them feel uncomfortable or challenged; most people tend to not like to dive into the deep waters. Generally, I go along with them (during conversations).
It's easy to remain shallow. Perhaps that's why a lot of people tend to stay that way. Perhaps easily remaining superficial (in the shallow parts) is the best way in the long run. But I doubt it. Diving deep, into what has a lot of depth, is frightening to many… and we are not so separate from our fears. A lot of us think that our "fears" are there for us to deal with and contend with. We think that we need to resolve them, or get over them, or subjugate them. Very few of us realize that we are not something separate from our fears. When one is experiencing fear… that fear is not, in reality, something that is truly separate from what one is. Trying to get rid of a fear… creates friction (within the mind)… and friction (psychologically) is one of the main reasons why many of us experience many fears. It's easy, in superficial waters, to break things up into conflicting parts, with a lot of problems (that one seems separate from).
Write what you feel, what you think…food for thought…
I find it interesting that you "live" shallow, yet write deep. That makes for a powerful contrast, and likely helps your writing a great deal. I find myself usually on the opposite end of the emotional spectrum of most people. I don't know all the whys to it, but it likely aids my writing as well. I took advantage of your Black Friday deal, and read Jazz. Very enjoyable, and I can see the shallow/deep interplay in it.
Thanks for continuing to write and making that difference.
Love.
So very true. I often write to express my emotions and thoughts. Thank you for sharing this
Found myself nodding in agreement as I read. If anything, I have too much to write about. Too many things to say. Too many things to ponder. Too many things to study. I have lost many excellent thoughts on my pillow before I fall into sleep. For me, writing comes out of what is in me, flailing about, trying to be understood.