Modern love

modern_loveIn my lifetime the world has changed rapidly. The world is evolving faster each day. And every aspect of our lives changes according to this new world, according to our vision of the world.

Love, or the way we perceive it, has changed as well. Some say that we have grown to enjoy being alone, that we enjoy the idea that technology can imitate real interaction. We text, we e-mail, we skype, we like, we comment, and, yet, we often find ourselves asking, “What is love?” or, more importantly, “What is love supposed to feel like?”

Sometimes we tend to analyze stuff for longer than necessary. Most times we like to believe that life was better, funnier in a distant past we would never be able to go back to. The place and time we live in is never as wonderful as those million worlds we imagine or dream about.

But the truth is, love is simply what we need it to be. Virtual romance or not, one thing has never changed: the way being in love makes us feel.

Sometimes we feel that life’s a battle, and we’re alone. We feel that when no one is willing to hear us out, or when no one is willing to fight the fight with us. We feel that we are alone when there’s no out to reach out. When staring outside the window, we see only darkness and silence.

So why is it that we need someone else? Why is it that we have to feel as if there’s something missing, something that’s been taken away from us, something that only another person can give us?

Something that can’t be bought.

Something that can’t be stolen.

Something that can’t be defined or understood or seen.

Something we all need, we all want.

And when you find that something, that’s when you’re complete. Perfect. Happy.

That’s when all your dreams become possible, no matter how crazy they really are. when your biggest fears die.

You’re not afraid anymore.

You’re not alone anymore.

Love is simply this: we give the best of our hearts to someone who’s willing to fight the fight with us. Nothing else really matters. Distance, age, sex, whatever.

People worry too much. I worry too much. We think too much, and this makes us be afraid. Of what’s out there, of what’s inside us.

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29 comments on “Modern love

  1. Michali says:

    Wow! Absolutely beautiful and genuine in its most simple yet profound form. Thank you for sharing that beautiful soul of yours!

  2. xavierx says:

    Completely true dude. Happens to almost everyone. We can’t find someone to confide into. And those we do, may sometimes betray us. But there is just that one guy or girl who won’t. That, is true love. :)

  3. skirnirh says:

    No, way too idealistic view of love for me. Love is a wonderful thing and I am glad that I have found love in my husband, but it doesn’t make me complete. He isn’t the easiest person to share the real pain with, or cry with, but he is there for me. IE I think we, as a society, idealize the past and idealize love and marriage, often times to the detriment of love and marriage. People give up on their love and their marriage because they have such an idealized view of it.

    • ironchefwa says:

      I really appreciate your view, definitely something I relate to as I approach 15 years with my partner. I’ve always liked the Louis de Bernières quote about how being “in love” is a temporary madness, but “Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”

    • I agree with you Skirnirh- The idealization of love gets us into trouble because we keep looking for something that love cannot give. Real wholeness comes from being connected to ourselves.

      As for the sense of connection to another, I think that’s where love is wonderful: it can ease some of the loneliness of being human.

  4. always true always a great read – you are one of my creative resources Cristian :-)

  5. inkfactoryy says:

    This is all true. We are moving very fast with technology and everything else, but not with love. This is the biggest topic that can’t be described and explained. Fantastic post!! :)

  6. rosellezubey says:

    The only time I have ever regretted not being in a relationship or married was three years ago when I almost died from meningitis. I thought that if I would have had a partner or spouse he would have noticed that something was wrong and got me to medical help sooner. But marriage isn’t what it used to be. It used to be that marriage was till death do you part. Now 50% of marriages end in divorce. Spouses cheat on one another. I know that if I had been married and my husband cheated on me that would have destroyed me. I don’t want people to think that I’m anti-marriage or even anti-love. I’m truly not. I just didn’t meet the right person in time. If anything I’m just too set in my ways now.. .

  7. 3mmal3igh says:

    I’m constantly asking these questions, and I loved this approach!

  8. cc70458 says:

    Interesting post, the funny thing is that people keep redefining love. Even in terms of marriage it gets redefined my modernity – and often not for the better. For devout Catholics and many couples marital love is something different with many common traits.

    http://catholichusband.wordpress.com/2013/04/18/what-is-love/

    Colin

  9. zolfyer says:

    That was a good post. I genuinely enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing that. It made the rest of my day.

  10. cmkline says:

    Love seems so cryptic sometimes in this digital age. It seems to me that love has not changed–it is the lover.

  11. admin says:

    Interesting post. Looking at it from a biblical point of view, the way you define love is similar to how God loved King David. David was man after God’s own heart and they were both fighting for the same cause together. They were of like mind and purpose. God loved David and David loved God. David obeyed God and God loved him for it. They agreed on His law because God’s law is expressive of His nature. God IS love.

  12. thegreenbull says:

    After suffering an attack of the over-thinking problem you describe in your post yesterday…I wish I had read this then. You have a clear talent for conveying your message in your writing and it made me feel much better.
    I came to your page after you liked a book review I wrote, and that’s incredibly encouraging. Thanks for that too :)

  13. I don’t know what it is about you, but you manage to go so deep and it is like you aren’t even trying. It’s the way you come at things. I can bet each time that you are going to say something that is important and wonderfully apt.

  14. GirlOnGreen says:

    I think love is a form of happiness. Technically not everyone would want love. There are people especially some of the greatest writers are hermits that produce great work alone. Of course they find love somewhere else, in their work. Of course there are exceptions. Many other people need love because they want someone to spend their lives with. I definitely like your explanation of love. It’s like your speaking about a lot of things that I can relate.

  15. sterlingsop says:

    I think modern love is different to love of only a generation ago. There is a thread of impermanence that dominates modern living, and that same sense of fleetingness dominates our human emotions too. I find it sad, because people who fall in and out of shallow, modern love probably won’t ever find the depth of love and respect our grandparents enjoyed. Maybe in this day of instant communication, the adage “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is very true. Modern living doesn’t give us enough room to think, grow and mature into our relationships and we are very much centred on the here and now, not the “down the road, tomorrow” that is necessary for true, deep love to flourish.

  16. T. Funk says:

    Enjoyed reading some of your posts, Christian. The Funk House Art Garden will be sure to purchase your self-published books to further support your artistic talent. Best of luck for your continued success!

  17. Corinthians 13 gives one of the best definitions of Love. It’s old, but true and cuts through the modern quandaries and dilemmas with quiet simplicity.

  18. Still Times says:

    Great post! I love how you are able to articulate and convey your thoughts and ideas through your writing. Thank you for sharing so much and so deeply. More importantly, thank you for the education! Cheers… Maria

  19. That was beautiful and a very lovely read. I’m a married woman and marriage has made me cynical about love due to many hard years but it was written so beautifully it almost made me believe In the idea of love again.

  20. I especially liked this: “Love is simply this: we give the best of our hearts to someone who’s willing to fight the fight with us.” Trust (in every sense of the word) is so important. I feel this with my husband. Romance dies without trust. I know he’s got my back, and I can depend on him.

  21. A poetical approach to life! Insightful!
    Since the days I used to have Nichita Stanescu and Mircea Eliade’s books,on my knees, it’s been for the first time I feel proud thinking about my origin.
    A pleasure to read you!

  22. Monica says:

    Thanks for sharing this post, I was glad to read it. In life we need to find a person whom we can trust, and he or she must care about ourselves. They should always be there for us when we needed them.

  23. toutsi19 says:

    I’m a fan of your book One. But I have to say you never cease to surprise me. Keep it up!
    Cheers.

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