Last night…

Have you ever felt that words were not enough? That you had to say something to someone that no one ever thought of saying? That even though there were no words in the dictionary that could say what you wanted to say, you still tried? And failed. And tried again, because inside your head everything was so clear? And, of course, failed again.

Words that could turn the odds in your favor. Words that could change what couldn’t be changed. Words that could fight against fate.

I’ve felt it. More than once.

Maybe I care too much about words. But I can’t help it. They’re important, because, if you use them right, you accomplish a lot. But sometimes words aren’t enough.

Yet, I still try.

Because I don’t like to give up. I don’t like to surrender or even retreat. I fight until I can’t fight anymore.

These last two months have been really hard on me. I’ve lost people, I’ve lost things (well, they got broken, smashed, whatever…), and I had to figure everything out for myself. And I fought on, which the right thing to do.

But right now, things aren’t looking so good. I believe in impossible battles, but, right now, there aren’t many things that could happen in the last day of April that are going to help me get back up on my feet.

This month the fundraiser managed to raise $505. There are still perks available, and I know that things can happen at the last minute. I know that I just have to make people believe, I have to make people understand that their help is invaluable to me.

Because it allows me to write, and to blog, and to pay bills and food and stuff like that, because I’m just as human as you are. And did I mention the perks? Yeah, they’re kind of cool.

I’m not giving up. I have a lot of things to do and write about, and I’m not giving up. I guess I just need a push in the right direction, so I don’t have to worry about starving while I try to write my novels.

But, ultimately, that’s for you to decide. I don’t know what words to use, how to use them, and I’m sure that my posts should tell you if I deserve a bit of help or not.

Somehow, everything in life is just an act of faith. You have to believe in something other than yourself, because, sometimes, you’re just not enough.

Other than that, you can help me out hereand you can help me find a way to make my dreams come true. Any contribution matters, it really does.

Thank you all for your support, for your help during these two years since I’ve started this blog. I really couldn’t have done it without you,

Cristian

 

About these ads

12 comments on “Last night…

  1. Manja says:

    Christian, check this out: http://www.transartists.org/article/funding-europe
    it’s an overview of available funding/grants. hope it may be of help.

  2. I had a whole shpeel ready about a website….but Manja beat me to it haha. You have the right attitude….dont ever give up *hug*

  3. I am researching fellowships and grants for writers and artists right now and am super surprised at the huge amount of support out there. I am posting an article on the subject next monday. Keep the faith! Remember there are other writers out there who want/need to pursue what they believe they were set on this earth to do. We are all with you in spirit.

  4. rolandlegge says:

    Hi Christian, thanks for your blog. I appreciate your openness and your reflections on life. I agree that the words are limiting, but none the less we try and often through story. As a minister in the United Church of Canada I was having some reflections with some members of my church who were shocked when I said that many Biblical stories are not factual, but full of truth. I believe that stories can say much more than factual statements could ever hope to say. Wishing you many blessings as you continue with your blog.

  5. I feel very similar and agree with you that sometimes (Maybe a lot of times) words are not enough and they can’t describe they way you really feel to a tee. But i think to me… Music fills that gap. Sometimes a simple sound, a chord being struct can confirm with your heart, your mind, your soul about what your feeling… like the sound says “I understand you” :)

  6. Ruth2Day says:

    writing is tough, you rarely get paid for it and there are millions of people doing it. For me I have a full time job and write when I can. Sure I’d like to give up the 9-5, but the reality is, it funds my writing.

    • I’m in Ruth’s boat. Full time job and little time to write so I get up early in the morning (insomnia has its perks…) as I’m too shattered normally in the evening.

      Keep with it Cristian. What about copywriting / web writing to help fill in?

  7. stefankeys1997 says:

    It is certainly true that there are things that cannot be expressed by words but that can only be said by those that have exhausted their use of words.- Yang Wenli

  8. Gold and silver I do not have but I can pray in faith that God will make a way for your to continue on with your wonderful work! Don’t give up and don’t give in because when we least expect it time and chance happens to us all. God bless you my friend :)

  9. This is beutifull, thank you for ur openess

  10. I think words can express much – it’s just finding the right ones. I often find myself hunting for them too…..living in the moment, I even surprise myself at times with what comes outta my mouth!

  11. Ah, Christian, remember the Law of Attraction. Today feel, believe and see what you want and it will appear by allowing those things to happen.. Napoleon Hill said, “Think and Believe. It will Happen.”
    Sending warm thoughts. Make any negative thought disappear. You do have that choice.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s