Dreams are real

“People think dreams aren’t real just because they aren’t made of matter, of particles. Dreams are real. But they are made of viewpoints, of images, of memories and puns and lost hopes.” – Neil Gaiman
There are two types of people in the world: the realists and the idealists. Some realists even go as far as to call themselves cynics. I’d just say they’re idealists who once upon a time got their hearts broken.
What I’m really trying to say is this: we’re all dreamers. We all spend an awful lot of time in a strange land, one that does not exist. A promised land, one we promised ourselves when the world outside our windows seemed evil, threatening, ugly. Whenever we got our hearts broken, whenever someone forgot to keep their promise, whenever we got lied to, betrayed, or forgotten. We created that promised land with our imaginations and our hope and our love.
The land that belongs to a future where all our dreams will come true.
There’s only one problem with that. Most of us don’t act upon those dreams. They just pretend that it’s all a nice fairy tale, which of course makes them bitter and remorseful nonetheless, but they chose to believe that those dreams can never come true.
Yes, they don’t.
Because dreams rarely come true. People have to make them come true. Have to create the promised land, in reality, the same way they did inside their heads.
But that’s just easy to say and almost impossible to achieve.
Why?
Because inside your head things are always going to be beautiful, much more than they could ever be in the real world. Also, inside your head… no one can hurt you there. No one can reach inside and destroy the wonderful world you have created. The promise of a better future that keeps you going, that makes you get out of bed even when you don’t want to, that still puts a smile on your face when all you want to do is scream or cry or even die.
I find that to be sad.
Dreams are real. If they exist inside your mind… they’re not just the product of your imagination. If you imagined them, you can make them come true.
What we take for granted, day after day, didn’t use to exist a thousand years ago. Hell, most of the stuff we use on a day to day basis didn’t use to exist a hundred years ago.
The world changes because people’s dreams come true. Because will power is the only thing that stands between what’s real and what’s not. Between what’s possible and what’s not.
That’s all.
***
I’d like to thank Matthew and Amelia for their recent donations to my campaign.
If you’d like to help me with my medical bills, you can do so here. Any amount matters. It truly does, especially now, when the next appointment is tomorrow.
Once again, thank you all for your help,
Cristian

Advertising options

Hi guys,

There are quite a few great advertising options available:

1. Reblog – $50 - Do you have a WordPress.com blog? Have you written a piece you’d want everyone to read? Now you can have your content reblogged to an audience of over 103,000.

You can purchase here. 10 spots available. You can buy as many as you like and use them whenever you want.

2. Sponsored Post $50 – Do you have a book you’d want me to review? Or do you want me to interview you? Or simply showcase your works (for graphic artists, painters, etc.)?

You can purchase here. 5 spots available.

4. Star for a Month – $150 – Be a star on my blog for one month. This means the following things:

You’ll get interviewed by me. (1 post)
I’ll review a book of yours, or I’ll showcase your works on my blog, or write an article about your website (1 post)
You can guest blog here. (1 post)
You’ll be mentioned as post sponsor on five of my posts, which means that at the end of said posts you’ll be mentioned and thanked. Also, you’ll be able to provide a short description of your blog/website.

You can purchase here. Just one spot available.

There you have it… quite a lot to chose from.

Payments are secured via PayPal. Also, you can purchase as many options as you like, as available. After that we get in touch via e-mail and set everything up.

Secondly, you can purchase the e-book bundle for only $6.99 hereWhat do you get for that kind of money?

Well… the following:

Jazz (novel)
The Writer (novel)
Fairytale: Episode I (serialized fiction)
Strangers (short story compilation)
An Emperor’s Will (novella)
Remember (short-story)
A Prestigious Award (short-story)
The Portrait of a Writer (compilation of essays)

You have basically 3 days and 4 hours as if this moment to acquire anything you’d like at a great price.

*The funds raised through this endeavor will hep pay for my medical bills.

Thank you,

Cristian

Your dream

Whatever it is you want to do, make sure you give it your best. The world does little to reward those who don’t put in the effort required to pursue their dreams.

It’s your dream, your life, your chance. Take risks, try, fail, learn. And never, ever give up.

This is it. Simple, not easy.

But the again, I don’t remember anyone saying it was supposed to be easy.

You are alone… and it’s okay

“We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and — in spite of True Romance magazines — we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely — at least, not all the time — but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don’t see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.” Hunter S. Thompson

I should start by saying that being alone and feeling lonely are separated by one thing: your perception of the situation. Which, of course, can be changed, but most of the times is a subconscious decision that appears to be out of your control.

My own loneliness is a contradictory issue. I have to be alone, I need to be alone, and I love being alone. I can write, I can enjoy the silence for longer periods of time than almost anyone else I ever met. I can only find myself when I am all alone in a silent room. I go out with people, act silly and whatnot for a couple of hours, all the while longing to go back home and be all by myself. I’ve been at parties and wanted nothing more than to go home, where there’s no one waiting but the hope of finding myself again.

It feels like that: as if I am losing myself in the crowd. I am losing myself in the minds of other people.

But I also hate having only myself to come home to. I hate my own company, so to speak. I feel restless, insecure, and sad.

Truth be told, I wouldn’t have written a single word if I hadn’t felt lonely. Different. Unique in a “there’s a big wall between you and the rest of the world” sense of way. Some days I hate that about me. Some days I think it’s the best damn thing in the world. A true blessing. Some days I feel as if me being alone to write, me being able to be alone to write, is the most wonderful thing in the world. And I am happy and ecstatic to do nothing other than to write. Other days… I feel as if it’s all a necessary sacrifice; and there’s nothing noble about it either. It’s just something that I had to do, because I was too scared to do anything else.

One of the many things we don’t like to talk about is the fact that most of the time our feelings are out of our control. Because you are aware. You are staring out the window at the rain. There’s nothing else to do, and the fact that you are aware changes nothing. I am aware of how I feel, I am rationally aware (and intrigued in a way) of the fact that I shouldn’t feel the way that I do about what I am seeing out the window.

But I feel that way regardless of what I am aware of.

That makes us human. Our ability to feel. And our ability to rationalize, to dissect out thoughts and feelings like no other creature before us.

At the beginning of this post I wrote that our perception is the only thing that makes a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. I can only tell you about the way I perceive things when I feel lonely: I hate myself. Simple as that. I am self-conscious to such an extent that it makes me loathe almost everything about me. So I do feel lonely in a crowded place, among friends or family, or when I am all by myself. I hate my own company, even though I am, to a certain extent, aware of the fact that people feel and think otherwise. And when I feel that, there’s nothing they can say or do that can make me change how I feel.

Of course, I also feel the exact opposite. I find myself to be good company to others, I find myself to be good company to my own self. I feel great. And it’s like I am different person then.

That is the simple and heartbreaking truth of our existence: we don’t get to choose how we feel.

What I’m really trying to say is this: there’s no point in fighting it. What you feel. There’s no point in denying it either. It just doesn’t work that way. You have to accept it. I feel the way that I feel, and it’s going to last for as long as it has to.

Staring out the window at the rain… it might seem as if the sun will never come out again.

But it does. Sooner or later. It does. Always.

***

I have to apologize to you, my friends, for not writing lately. I have been feeling depressed.

I also want to take the time to thank Annalee for her recent donation to my campaign.

If you want to help me with my medical bills, you can do so here.

Real people

“It wasn’t only wickedness and scheming that made people unhappy, it was confusion and misunderstanding; above all, it was the failure to grasp the simple truth that other people are as real as you.” - Ian McEwan

They say the biggest distance between two people is misunderstanding. It creates this gap between people. Or is it a wall? And it’s frustrating, isn’t it? It does make you feel as if you’re alone, the only one who thinks and says and acts in a certain way.

And by feeling so don’t we diminish others as well? Don’t we fail to understand that even though they are different, they’re still inherently the same as us? And they deserve to be treated the same way we’d like to be treated.

I don’t know, it’s a difficult question to answer.

But could you hate someone if you knew why they do what they do? If you could truly understand them? Their thoughts? Their feelings? Know their past? Their struggles? What they want? What they have lost?

That’s the thing, I’m afraid. It’s not that we are incapable o caring about others, it’s just that we rarely get to know them. To really know them. And thus we never get to understand them. And the wall is still there…

***

There are only 58 hours left. It’s now or never. If you can help out, please do so here. Any contribution helps, any amount matters.

Blessing… in disguise

blessing“It’s so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone.” – John Steinbeck

They say change is the only true constant in our lives. Defined as the process through which something becomes different. Some of us fight it, others choose to focus their energy on adapting to the new circumstances; to make the most out of whatever it is that has changed.

Change is inevitable.

There’s good and bad in our lives. There’s good and bad in the world around us. How we react to all that is entirely up to us.

But what I really what to write about is the so called “blessing in disguise.” Continue reading

Life… and stuff



Ever felt so out of balance that it seemed as if the entire universe was conspiring against you? Probably.

The idea is that you should try to live. No matter what. But how do we do that? Especially when one loses hope and faith and courage. When all one does is exist.

The important thing to remember is that we are here to fight the odds and beat them. Life’s a struggle because that’s the only way to learn, to grow, to evolve.

We become better by fighting against all that is trying to destroy us.

In the end, it’s entirely up to us. How we life, why…