What doesn’t kill you…

Either makes you stronger or makes you wish it did.

Letting go or holding on. Two of our most defining reactions. And they couldn’t be more different.

Holding on to pain(or the memory of it), holding on to regret, to bitterness… Continue reading

vertigo: a novel

vertigoEverything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.Kurt Vonnegut

 

There are certain memories that stick with us for no apparent reason, whose influence we never understand.

For instance, one of my most persistent memories from childhood consists of me sitting in my father’s car, waiting for him and my mother to come back from a shop. It was raining, and all I did was watch this beautiful anomaly of nature; raindrops trickling down the windshield, layers upon layers, drops blending together to form rivulets, like tears running down cheeks. And I thought God wanted to drown the entire world, to cover everything in a deep sea of rain. For a few minutes my life was empty and pointless, and yet time didn’t stop. People were running down sidewalks, struggling to hold onto their umbrellas in the blistering wind, cars were passing by, and the rain kept falling, oblivious and impervious to everything and everyone. Continue reading

Artist showcase: Jennifer Murcia

jenniferWhen it comes to fashion there are two things that I always keep in mind when sketching: The human body is merely a canvas for what I want to express and always create something elegant that compliments the person wearing it. I think many people peg fashion as something that is unimportant and superficial, which isn’t true. A lot of today’s fashion gets a bad rap because designers create clothes and fashion shows that aren’t grounded in a realistic setting. Continue reading

Others

others“The remarkable thing is that we really love our neighbor as ourselves: we do unto others as we do unto ourselves. We hate others when we hate ourselves. We are tolerant toward others when we tolerate ourselves. We forgive others when we forgive ourselves. We are prone to sacrifice others when we are ready to sacrifice ourselves.” Eric Hoffer

Others: a simple word used to describe people. A lot of them. Every single human being on this earth besides yourself. Others. At times they seem too many, too angry, too bitter, too selfish. Too stupid. Other times, it just seems they just packed they’re gone.

It depends on you, actually. Continue reading

More than words

Sometimes I want to write something beautiful, something meant to inspire. And this burning hunger grows inside me, consumes me to the point that I can’t write anymore. And it all feels pointless. It seems as if I will never be able to write more than just words, more than a nice story.

After all, writers are also readers. And all the stories that left a mark on us appear to be much more than just words. More than simple stories, they’re the fuel that ignites what’s most human in us, the engine that has driven mankind towards greatness. Continue reading

Hope

Today I want to write about hope. I want to write about what I consider to be man’s greatest strength and greatest weakness.

Hope. They say that only hope can prove to be stronger than fear. I agree. Hope gives us the strength to endure the unbearable, to struggle against the impossible, to deny defeat. Hope allows us to find clarity and faith and courage when there’s only darkness.

Believe it or not, without hope… there is only darkness. Because even if you lost everything, if you still have hope, not everything’s lost. But lose hope, and everything’s lost.

I want to thank Wayne, Ken, Carla, Natty, Nathan, Patricia, and Joseph for their contributions to my campaign. It truly means a lot to me, and… I really want to thank you. That’s it. I’ve struggled with these issues for so long… it becomes unbearable at a certain point.

I never got a chance to explain exactly what is it that it’s wrong. I thought people didn’t want to know. I have some sort of calcium deficiency, and well… my teeth decay. There’s no other way to put it. The enamel decays, then… well it progresses until there’s not much left except the root. It happened with my upper teeth a few years ago, it’s happening now with the lower set of teeth. There’s nothing to be done to stop it.

Right now I can only eat on one side, but that’s not easy and it’s moderately painful.

The surgery I’m having Monday won’t fix everything, but it’s a big progress towards fixing this.

Of course, some of you may say that dental issues are not that serious. It’s not only about pain (and there’s lots and lots of that, a fact I had to get used to since I was in high school.) It’s also about the risk of running an infection that might spread throughout the body. Not to mention the difficulty of eating.

What did I do all these years?

I took a lot of painkillers. I worked. I wrote. I kept this blog alive by any means necessary.

Yes, I believed that I was fighting for something more important than my own health. This blog, my stories.

But the truth is that I’m scared. Right now… I’m scared. Or maybe I’m just now beginning to accept this as a fact. This blog is pretty much everything I have, and reaching out to you is the only thing I can do. Reaching out for help.

So far we have raised a total of $773 dollars. About a hundred more are needed for the surgery on Monday.

If you want to help me out, you can do so here.

Once again, thank you all for your support, for your contributions, for your comments and e-mails, and… well… for taking the time to read the stuff that I write. You give me hope. You always will.

Four hundred and eight


“Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.” – Charles Chaplin

First of all, I’d like to than Jaden and Terry for their donations. We have reached a grand total of $408 raised.

As you probably know, on Monday I’ll be having surgery. About $450 is needed right now.

If anyone wants to help out, you can do so here.

The situation is urgent, thus this special offer: those of you who contribute $50 or more will also have a blog post reblogged; besides any perk you might select from the campaign page. As a bonus.

Once again, thank your for your support and help. It is much needed during these times.

Cristian