What I learned from years of high functioning depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem

Disclaimer: this is going to be a long and (somewhat) harsh post about certain realities of life most of us are trying to evade by all means possible.

I am not writing this post out of empathy. I am not writing this post because I read some articles and now I am trying to pass along the knowledge.

I am writing this article because I understand.

I understand the difference between the burning pain of suffering deeply and the general apathy and hopelessness of depression. The emptiness. The lack of interest, joy, passion. I understand the despair, the loneliness, the reluctance to discuss about it all, the very fatiguing job of hiding it all behind a smile, or an “I’m fine” delivered in the worst way possible. Continue reading

closer: a novel

closer is the story of a man who is so seduced by the desire to get rich that he becomes involved in a world where anything is permitted. His journey to the top is interrupted by the consequences of his past actions. Things become darker, more violent and more sexually disturbing than he could ever have imagined as he tries to break himself free from his past.

Deft, shocking and unforgettable, this gripping tale about risk, consequence and the treacherous balance between the two reveals a world where there’s nothing to separate right from wrong.

***

If that description is not enough, I’d like to say that closer is not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. It’s more like a shot of whiskey. There are parts that describe certain aspects of beauty — the way we perceive something or someone around us as being beautiful — but then I insist on breaking your heart.

Stare at something long enough, there’s nothing magic left of it. Truth is, nothing in this world is as beautiful as we can imagine it. Continue reading

Dome: Episode One [FREE DOWNLOAD]

A heartbreaking portrayal of ambition, betrayal, and intrigue, Dome is a serialized Science-Fiction Thriller that tells the story of a small group of people who try to figure out the reason behind the construction of this dome-city in the center of the world’s harshest continent.

Prologue

For a man who knows that our worst nightmares are about to come true, Jack Riddell has no trouble sleeping at night. “It is said that Caesar wept when he found out about Pompey’s death.”

“What’s that got to do with anything?” the host of the show, a woman in her mid-thirties, asks. For the last hour or so, the richest man in the world has avoided giving her a straight answer.

Jack laughs. “A man’s character is determined by how he reacts in the face of adversity. By how strong his enemies are.” Ignoring the dumbfounded expression of the host, he adds, “I believe people should realize Dome is a simple reminder that we can fight against insurmountable odds and win.” Continue reading

What I learned in five years of blogging

Five years. Five years of daily blogging. Five years since I decided to never give up, no matter what. To keep writing, to keep blogging, to just keep at it for as long as it took.

And what a ride it has been. Around the world, indeed. 200 or so countries. Lots and lots of people, lots and lots of stories… Continue reading

Reblogs

Folks have been asking me exactly what are those reblogs that I keep offering as advertising options on my e-store, and I thought it would be a good idea to explain, especially since it’s the last few hours when you can purchase them at the lowest price ever.

What is a reblog?

I’d call them trailers for blog posts.

Let’s say you write a blog post. So, I choose a short snippet of that post (usually the first lines) then add a link to your post. I put this on my blog.

This way, over 129, 600 people get to see this short preview. Those who want to read more, click on the link and go to your blog.

It’s a way to gain exposure.

Why do you sell reblogs?

The funds go for new projects, websites, or technology I need. Also, to pay for editing and releasing novels.

My way of viewing it, it’s a win-win situation: you get more exposure for your blog, which means more followers, more engagement with your content, and I get a chance to keep doing what I love.

 

Reblog – $24.99 $12.99 – Do you have a WordPress.com blog? Have you written a piece you’d want everyone to read? Now you can have your content reblogged to an audience of over 122, 000.

You can purchase here.

 

Five Reblogs – $59.99 $29.99 – Five reblogs. Use them whenever you want to reach a bigger audience.

Purchase here.

Ten Reblogs$99.99 $49.99 – BEST VALUE.

Purchase here.

Payments are secured via PayPal. It’s all very simple. Once you purchase an advertising option, we’ll get in touch via e-mail and set everything up.

Thank you,

Cristian

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heart

To most of us this simple word means much more than just the muscle that keeps us alive. It defines our ability to feel, to love, to care, to suffer deeply, to evolve, to fight on… it is the source of all our power, our greatest strength and our greatest weakness.

To me the word implies all that is good and bad and wonderful and frightening in a human being. It’s the essence of who we are, the inexorable truth of the human condition. Found in the center of what we call one’s soul, the heart is the passion we are capable of mustering, is the strength that we are capable of summoning, the ability to love… Continue reading

20180220: Phase 2 of Int. Space Station: short video of planning phase 1 & development of the next step.

I discuss the idea of my understanding USA government would in time refuse to keep the International Space Station going and try to remove it…

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Remember this photo?

Well, if you were following my blog a year ago, you should. It took everything in me to take this photo, to look at it long enough, so I could upload it, and then write a post and ask for help. I was talking to one of my biggest supporters, a great guy who had helped me immensely with my projects, and I just couldn’t help but cry. I even told him that I didn’t want to live anymore. Better to roll over and die. Continue reading

Mentorship Program

Disclaimer: This is not one of those arrogant moments when I pretend to be an expert in something as volatile and unpredictable as the online world, but I do like to believe that my five years of blogging have offered me enough experience to be able to assist others too.

That being said, I am announcing a Mentorship Program (if you click on the link you’ll be directed on a page on my e-store and read the usual marketing promo bullshit anyone uses these days). But I am not in the business of promoting stuff that doesn’t work, or doing work that I do not believe in.

This is not going to school. This is not some courses, a few pages you get to read, some pictures, and that’s that. This is not some how-to guide I am selling. This is not a shortcut to becoming successful as a blogger.

This is a human experience. Like, you, what people used to do back in 95 or whatever. By that I mean that you get to talk to me. A lot. That you get to have real feedback, real advice based on what you are trying to accomplish.

This program I am offering includes:

  • Unlimited access to me (via e-mail, Facebook, WhatsApp, you name it.)
  • Four hour-long sessions on Skype.

If there’s something about the WordPress platform you’d like to know, about setting up certain social media accounts and developing them, something about style, about writing the posts themselves, about SEO, about the visual aspect and optimizing your website for best results, about readers and how to make sure they keep coming back for more, I’m your guy.

Really.

This is me. This is what I have accomplished in five years. My credentials, so to speak.

But, like I previously stated, my philosophy is this: I am not your teacher. I am not some blogging guru. But I do know a thing or two, and I’d like to offer you as much information and feedback as possible. In a way that inspires and motivates you. In a way that encourages you to go down this path and not feel like you’re blindly walking through a tunnel, hoping to reach the light at the end of it.

I am going to be honest. I am going to tell you as it is. I am going to tell you what needs to be done. I am going to put in a lot of time and effort to making you a lot better than you were before.

That being said, the program costs $99.99. This is for a month, so to speak.

I do not expect you to need more than a month of mentorship.

But I also believe in what I know and what I can teach you, so I’ll offer this: a money back guarantee.

You don’t like the program, you get a full refund. But you won’t.

You’ll like what I have to tell you about blogging. You can check this interview here.

Mentorship Program to be found here.

Realism

When I was seven years old, I decided that I would one day become the richest man in history. I’d move to the US, change my name to Chris Packlem, and buy all the big corporations. Oh, and I’d have an assistant named John.

I didn’t question this plan. I never wondered if maybe, just maybe, greatness wasn’t for me. Life had yet to defeat me. Or maybe it did… maybe it was doing so.

You see, each year, around my birthday(Christmas Day) I’d get really sick and we often had to rush to the hospital. One time I had really high fever and almost swallowed my tongue. Antibiotics and all that followed.

Sickly boy, I was. Continue reading

Try and fail

Failure is the building block of success. Failure is what’s probably going to happen when you step outside your comfort zone.

Simply put, whenever you’re going to try something for the first time, you’ll probably fail. But it’s the only way you’ll ever be able to learn how to do it.

In theory there’s no difference between theory and practice, but… from a practical standpoint there is a difference.

The only to learn how to do something is to do it. And you’ll fail. Over and over again. Better and better until you get it perfectly.

The idea is to welcome failure as feedback. Nothing more, nothing less. Of course, failure hurts our egoes, but we should also understand that failure is a lesson. There’s more to learn, something to improve upon.

Of you invest time and energy you can turn any failure into success.

It is that simple.

But is anything but easy…