Why a heartbreak is the best thing that can happen to (for) you

Business gurus will tell you that failure is an integral part of success. Just so you remember you are mortal. You are not invincible. You will fail, you will have to try over and over again.

The same principle applies to love. You need to get your heart broken.

Why?

Because it’s the only way one can grow.

Let me explain.

Boy meets girl. Boy hopelessly falls in love. Girl soon feels the same about him. They spend a while together, and then one of them decides it’s no longer worth it, and they leave.

 The outcome is the same: pain, bitterness, regret…

What is wrong with you?

How could they do such a thing?

Why?

Why?

And so on and so forth… with a bit of tears (or more of them) and a lot of questions.

Some folks choose to never find out the answers to those questions, while others decide other people are stupid and can’t appreciate a good thing when they see it.

But a few will learn from this. A few will strive to understand things.

Yes, it is a very painful process.

Depression and anxiety kicks in.

You stop taking care of yourself, for what is the purpose?

You pretend you’re okay on the outside, but you’re slowly dying on the inside.

But you learn… you do.

You kind of understand, after a while, that happiness and self worth are not for sale. That you cannot be truly yourself if you have to look in the hearts and minds of others for validation.

You understand that it is important to be the best version that you can be.

You now know never to become complacent, never to settle.

To do more. To aspire for more.

Because you’ll be dead soon enough anyway.

Because when hearts break, death seems like a mild nuissance.

It is life that is truly terrifying. Complex beyond belief.

If it was simple before your heart shattered into a million pieces, now you’ve got to grab all those pieces and somehow glue them back together.

Some of you might argue that a broken heart is no longer as strong.

I beg to differ.

Hearts break only once. The rest are just scratches.

What I learned in five years of blogging

Five years. Five years of daily blogging. Five years since I decided to never give up, no matter what. To keep writing, to keep blogging, to just keep at it for as long as it took.

And what a ride it has been. Around the world, indeed. 200 or so countries. Lots and lots of people, lots and lots of stories… Continue reading

New release: 2:22 AM

coverThey say the only ones who are awake late at night are the lonely and the loved. The former find it hard to fall asleep when all they have to do is dream with open eyes about their beloved. It’s almost a compulsion.
But what about the lonely? All the artists, the dreamers; the ones who hold tight to a reality they don’t understand and want to explain? Continue reading

The mountain

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“It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.” – Muhammad Ali

Ever felt like a failure? Worthless? Lonely being redemption, broken beyond repair. A waste of time?

Ever felt that it just doesn’t matter?

Ever felt like you couldn’t do something because it was too difficult? Because you were just not good enough? Or smart enough? Or you didn’t have the resources you needed?

Ever felt hopeless, seemingly destined to spend your life daydreaming about what would never be and what was and could no longer be? Continue reading

Life is pain

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“Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” William Goldman

I’m not a big fan of “positive thinking.” Yes, it’s important that we love ourselves, that we try to see all that is good and worthy of gratitude in us and others. I believe in seeing the light in others and offering them the support they need to better themselves.

But I also know that it is extremely important that we be realistic about what is what and who is who.

Continue reading

The Best of Cristian Mihai: Essays

I’m twenty-six years old, and in that short time frame I’ve learned that life is rarely fair. But it goes on. Whether we like it or not, life goes on.

Maybe we live in a dangerous world. Maybe this world has always been “unsafe” for those who weren’t sure what to do.

And I’d like to tell you there’s nothing to be afraid of, I’d like to tell you that failures build a man, that every fall is also a step forward. That what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…

But the truth is that, most times, what doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.

Without a specific reason, I’ve always been most afraid that I would die alone. And everything I ever did in this life was because of this bizarre feeling. For example, when I was a kid I wanted to be able to talk to anyone about anything. So I began to read a lot of books, to watch a lot of TV shows and sports and stuff like that…

Of course, I didn’t get out of the house too much. Until high-school I didn’t really have friends. That’s why I started writing in the first place, I guess.

I was alone.

Then again, it wasn’t the best option. Writing because you’re alone is like taking painkillers to heal a wound. Yeah, it stops the pain, but only for a few moments.

Then came high-school, which is a different kind of war. It’s a four year period which forms much of your personality. I’ve made a lot of friends. And I’m being somewhat modest when I say a lot.

But I had to give up writing. I had to keep that side of me a secret.

And then everything changed.

Looking back, I honestly can’t realize how it all happened. The free-fall. In less than a year I had nothing. No friends, no money, no future.

Do you know how it feels when all you want is to simply live another day? When you dream and dream and dream, but you feel you haven’t got the strength to anything other but dream? When you spend year after year all alone…

When hope dies.

During those years I learned pretty much everything I know about life. By myself, without anyone to tell me. I learned that my tragedy is all mine. Pain can’t be compared or truly understood; there’s no such thing as genuine compassion. We sift everything through the filter of our own perception.

I had become a puny man in a world that was too big.

Like they say, I had reached the bottom of the shaft, and all I could do was ask, “Why? Why?”

And the only answer I ever found was, “Why not?”

At the same time, I realized that if I don’t change something, no one was going to help me. Like I wrote previously, I’ve spent all my life fighting against the monster of solitude, and all of a sudden I had realized that we are utterly and inconsolably alone.

I was free to do whatever I wanted. And that’s what I did.

Every once in a while, someone asks me for writing advice. “How do I write a good story? What makes good writing good?”

There is only one answer.

Find the thing you’re afraid of the most, rummage through your brain until it hurts, and write about it.

Because in all those years that’s what I did. I wrote about what I had and lost, about what I never had, and about all that I was certain I’d never have.

And I wrote until all my wounds healed. Now I’m working on inflicting myself new ones.

As much as art is a constructive process, in which we play God, at the same time is also a destructive process, in which we break pieces of our soul and throw them on paper.

I think you can get everything you want in life, that you can figure out who you want to be, what you want to do, and all that stuff. I believe you’re capable of wonderful things, as long as you have the courage to accept that it’s never going to be easy.

As long as you accept that there will also be pain involved. Maybe lots and lots of it. And you just have to keep fighting. You have to constantly reinvent yourself until you discover who you really are.

And, yes, at times you’ll be afraid. At times you’ll feel comfortable, and you’ll simply want to freeze a moment, hoping it will last forever.

But you’ve got to remind yourself, over and over again, that there are no destinations in life. Only roads.

No matter who you are or what you do, life’s full of moments of doubt, of petty frustrations, or sacrifices. Sometimes you’ve got to go down roads that appear in no maps whatsoever. And then your compass breaks.

And if you look behind you, all you can see is a road paved with regrets. And it seems that before you there’s this road going nowhere.

Maybe sometimes it’s well to remember that “nowhere” is a lot closer to “anywhere” than we might think.

***

The Best of Cristian Mihai: Essays is available on Amazon.com. Here.

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Greatness

“It is better to believe in men too rashly, and regret, than believe too meanly. Men could be more than they are, if they would try for it.”Mary Renault

They say we should always be kind to others, for we all suffer in our own ways. We carry around people we lost, pain, regret, lost opportunities, a dying hope for what will no longer be. All these feelings and emotions, and yet we manage to function. We smile and we talk with others, hiding our pain behind masks.

I often say that the past should be a place of reference, not one of residence. Continue reading

Good Morning, Paris

Everything she did carried with it the solemn grace of a ritual. Her mornings were alike, but never the same.

She’d walk out on the balcony of her small flat to stretch her arms and legs and breathe in the new day. Her lungs filled with something more than just air, something exhilarating and fresh, wearing a pair of black shorts and a white undershirt, her naked feet caressing the marbled floor, she’d smile at the lethargic city.

“Good morning, Paris,” she’d whisper, staring at the Eiffel Tower cutting through an angry sea of buildings, cars, and noises.

As the new day rushed through her veins, her smile would grow bigger and bigger. Her smile screamed of life and passion and love. Her smile was life.

[READ MORE]

“”

”I have Stage IV Cancer. I may well only have 6 to 8 months to live. So I value time more than ever before. I only do what is important and worthy of my time.

Jazz was worth my time.

Jazz has a passionate plot, witty dialogue, and engrossing characters. This virtuosity is rich with what I call “word painting.” Vivid images appear off the text of my Kindle Screen. The author sculpts metaphors out his imagination and I find the results ensnaring.” – Bryan Edmonson, praise for Jazz.

 

One copy of each of my titles. Signed, delivered to your doorstep. Now, with a big discount. Limited time only.*

”This book was very unexpected. It made me think about what is means to be a writer, what the process of creation means not only to the creator but to those who are affected by what has been written. Much of what Mihai says here will resonate with anyone who has ever struggled to put words on paper.” – Cynthia Dumarin, praise for The Writer.

 

Price?

$69.99  $39.99, international shipping included.

 

”I was drawn in after reading the first page. Being a “hopeless” romantic I could empathize with both characters but I felt a connection with “him”. The authors description of loneliness, excitement, regret and pain is so intense, I became emotional while reading. It is gripping, honest and touching. Beautiful story…” – Melanie Lawson, praise for 2:22 AM.

If you’d like to purchase a book bundle, you can do so on my e-store here. All payments secured by PayPal.

*Offer expires at the end of the week.

Indifference

“Neither love nor terror makes one blind: indifference makes one blind.” – James Baldwin

I believe that this world is only as big as we want it to be. We don’t see the world as it is, but as we are.

And I also believe that a lot of people choose not to see as much as they could. I strenously believe people kind of like being blind to the outside world, to what doesn’t cater to their needs and desires.

What I’m really trying to say is that we’re spending most of our time being self-centred.

We are not the center of the Universe. None of us is.

The Universe, yes, it’s a huge and dark place. It’s indifferent to our needs, wants, dreams, expectations. That’s why we need to take care of each other, to help each other become the very best possible versions of ourselves.

And it’s not about what we might get by being like this, but about who we become in being like this.

20170922: A call for PEACE World Wide. October PEACE SUMMIT BY THE YOUTH!

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My friend Lamina is doing a PEACE SUMMIT in October 2017.

We need your help.

People of NOTICEABLE PEACE ACTIVISM, POETS/WRITERS, MUSICIANS, ARTISTS of all walks of life who work with YOUTH & YOUTHS THEMSELVES OF NOTICE are invited!

Lamina needs a small amount of funds to help promote and present this PEACE SUMMIT. Any donations that are giving to this website with notation of being for his event will be transferred to him (PayPal takes a small amount & I will not take anything more than PayPal’s 3% either, if I take anything at all). “Donation Button” on the Home page or top of this post. PLEASE STATE IT IS FOR THIS EVENT!

So PLEASE, pass this message along to others.

The YOUTH are the FUTURE, and the 0.001% ELITE RICH have screwed up the planet bad enough that the YOUTH have no future as FREE HUMANS!

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