Here’s my philosophical Christmas thingy:
We want what we want, and we do everything we can to obtain it. There’s no way to go around this. And even though we undoubtedly will cross paths with others, we often mistake their motives and try to make them do things our way. At times, we might even believe we’re alone. Bitterly alone in a world that’s trying its best to keep us as from achieving our destiny.
Sometimes we feel this life resembles a war. Every day is a battle, every day we have to wake up and choose to fight or not. We choose whether our own dreams and ideals are worthy of the tremendous energy we’re wasting just too keep them alive.
I believe that this world is so big, and there are so many people in it, doing all sorts of crazy things, all of them at once, that we’ve grown immune to what’s going on around us. Too many voices shouting at once, and not enough ears to hear them. It is a struggle. This life, now and a thousand years ago… life was never meant to be easy. We never had to flick our hands and through a magic we couldn’t understand the thing we wanted most would appear.
We have to fight. But we also need allies. We need to fight together, to grow together, to learn together.
One thing that being an artist teaches you is that all creative endeavors are selfish in nature. We write for us, because we want different things, it’s true, but we write because we want something and we’re trying to get it. Whether is peer recognition, money, glory, or just the satisfaction of writing down the most painful of memories in the attempt to better preserve them.
And, in many ways, being an artist teaches you that you are alone, that the world neither cares nor wants you. You’re just one out of seven or eight billion.
So don’t expect to get everything when and the way you want it. Don’t expect for the seas to part just because you want to take a shortcut. Don’t expect to find many maps either. Sometimes you don’t even get a compass.
This world we live in, this is a world of small steps, not giant leaps. Often times days go by, each and every one of them resembling the one before in excruciating detail. Yet, as time passes, things change. We change. The world around us changes.
Evolution is a very slow process.
Ever since I was six years old, I wanted to do great things. I never wanted to be “normal,” whatever normal meant for me at that time. Or whatever normal means to me now. I always wanted to change things, to alter them in a way that the world could not forget me.
It’s a strange thing to wish for, I agree, but that’s how I am.
If this world is a battlefield, I chose to fight for the highest of causes, for those ideas and dreams that matter most to me. Even if I fail.
I was 13 when I decided to become a writer. I didn’t know what I was doing. I never thought it to be so difficult, never thought that writing a story down is not about the story, or the words. It’s not about the idea or how to implement it. Writing a story down is about all these things, and about neither one at the same time. There’s also a certain x-factor we can’t define, a thing we can’t touch, but we can feel.
I wanted to be a great writer. I wanted for people to love my stories. And I wanted it so bad… that I wasn’t really spending enough time writing. I wrote only when I felt that I could write something great. And I failed. Time and time again, all I wrote were melodramatic stories… words that just sounded nice but had no substance. Empty phrases glued together by a teenage boy who wanted to be great.
Much, much later I understood that being great isn’t about how other perceive you, it’s about how you feel about yourself. It’s about doing your thing, unflinching as a clock, relentless of what goes around in the world. You just keep on writing…
If there’s one thing I learned in my 22 years on this planet, it is simply this: We all want what we want. We all want something. And we often have to fight real hard to get it. Sometimes, we can’t fight… sometimes we can’t fight any weapons. Or we just have one. And we feel as if life isn’t fair.
With 10 hours left in this campaign, there’s only one last thing I can do to try to raise the additional funds we need. And that is to ask for your help. I’m not alone in this fight, I’m not alone in this dream of mine. I have only one weapon… and as cliche or melodramatic as it sounds, that’s you.
We all want what we want and we have to do everything that’s in our power to get it.