Amor vincit omnia

amor

Most of my main characters are hopeless romantics. Well, that’s how I’d go about defining them. Maybe they’re just idealists: they believe in something wholeheartedly, and they stay true to their version of the world, no matter what. Maybe all idealists are stubborn like that.

Jonathan Fisher, in The Writer, wants to become a great writer, no matter what. Chris Sommers, in Jazz, wants to be happy. Francisc Goyer, in A Sad, Sad Symphony, wants to create the perfect symphony, just so he can leave something behind. Something great. The narrator in Remember wants nothing more than to kiss the woman he’s always been in love with.

And Chris Packlem is willing to do the same thing, but he doesn’t really know what he wants. He used to think that becoming rich would solve all his problems. He was wrong.

He’s the kind of guy who spends an awful lot of time wandering around New York. I imagine that to be the ultimate proof of how lonely he really feels. How lonely can anyone feel; to be surrounded by the commotion and despair of a huge city, by all these strangers passing him by, and to feel as if the world is inhabited by ghosts. Or maybe he’s the ghost.

Of course, everything changes when he meets Alice. She’s not the woman of his dreams. No, she’s the woman he never even dared dream about.

It’s strange that I “experienced” love at first sight so many times, and yet I can’t seem to find the right words to define it. Maybe at first you’re just curious… and you can’t take your eyes off the other person. It’s a if there’s something hovering in the air, a strange energy. And maybe that’s the closest anyone ever gets to defining what love is: you’d spend the rest of your time on this earth just staring at that person. You’d do so until you’d die of exhaustion.

And in that moment you feel as if you’d want to say something… as if you have to say something. You feel as if the words are there, inside your head, but you just can’t reach them. And you want to say something no one else has ever thought of saying.

Or maybe you just want to do something… anything.

Or maybe you’re just scared.

You know that ancient Greek legend about humans originally having four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces? And fearing their power Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.

I think we spend an awful lot of time “building” that missing part. We take everything we admire from the world around us, qualities upon which our beliefs are built, we take all those great and wonderful parts we see in others. And all the novels and movies and songs we listen to. And all those strangers we see in the bus every day. And we build our missing half. It’s an unconscious process.

But every single moment that put a smile on our face, or took our breath away, we store it, and we imagine how it would be for someone to constantly make us feel like that.

And then we meet someone, and we feel as if that’s the person we’ve always been in love with.

I believe we’re all searching for the missing half: the half that’s going to make us stronger, better, the half that’s supposed to make us whole again. So powerful the gods themselves would be jealous and afraid.

They say love conquers all. Maybe it just takes away the fear of waking up in a world that neither wants nor needs you. Maybe it even takes away the fear of never waking up again.

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28 thoughts on “Amor vincit omnia

  1. Finding love is great, but for me it's more about finding something meaningful in my life. Writing, scaring people, and affecting the lives of others are much more meaningful to me than being in a relationship. Then again, that's just me, and I'm an eccentric. Don't look to me as a standard of anything.

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  2. I remember the first real "in love" I ever experienced.. where I felt as if I had found my "soul mate" or counterpart to my existence. What a strong force love is. Four years later, I'm still as in love with this person as I was the first day my eyes received him. What a miserable ache is unrequited love.

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  3. you make a very good point about the whole love thing and maybe all your main characters are hopeless romantics because its a reflection of part of you i always feel like in everything page i write for my book a part of me is in each character and then most of me is in the main character i feel like that in a lot of writers work maybe that is a part of you and you just don't know it yet.

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    • Oh, of course they're all hopeless romantics because I'm a hopeless romantic. Each and everyone of my character has traits I have or traits I wish to have. It's just like a dream… I'm all the characters.

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      • that's exactly how i feel accept sometimes its a night mare :P but then again i'm not much of a love story writer but then again i'm a big dreamer i always have my head in the clouds so to speak

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    • My father & I had a rather interesting discussion about the beatles a few years ago. He graduated from highschool in 1969, so he was in the thick of a lot of music from the 60s. We were talking about how much of life experience was in their songs. Love is explored in so many ways. Think for a moment about "I want to hold your hand" In it's simplicity there is much depth. It is the first stirrings, the most innocent expression of desire. Think for a moment on "why don't we do it in the road" It is on such a complete extreme end of the spectrum from holding someone's hand. One of my personal favorites is "Hide your love away" (Cristian if you are unfamiliar with this song, I stongly urge u to listen to it on youtube) The Beatles created a large body of work, more than I could ever cover here. Screaming fans aside, I find wisdom in their work. And I must admit, there is a part of me that feels a certain mistrust of those who do not like the Beatles xx

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  4. I,ll have to check out that Greek Legend. I like it nut haven't come across it before. I know the one where Zeus gives Prometheus and Epimetheus the job of creating creatures on earth. Prometheus carefully sculpted replicas of Zeus and Hera while Epimetheus hurriedly used up all the other materials making animals.
    Prometheus's humans were left naked because of this lack of resources and so he stole them fire from Olympus to keep them warm. Zeus punished Prometheus by chaining him to to the Caucases Mountains highest peak where a giant eagle tore out his liver, only for it to regenerate and the torture to be repeated each day.

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  5. Soul mates. Love at first sight. People often scoff these things and rarely believe in them. But I do. Though, I'm still searching for that one person who can make me feel this way. Aw. I just love hopeless romantics and idealists.:)

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  6. As eloquent as ever, Christian.

    Does the fact that your main characters are hopeless romantics say anything about you?

    Mind tend to be misfits of some kind or other – whether in thought or action.

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  7. interesting thoughts coming from a guy who apparently loves only himself. You are very lucky young man to have a congregation who supports your narcissism. I truly admire your game. You have not only managed to find a cow, but even more importantly, you seem to know how to milk it and not to scare it away. Respect.

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  8. I am totally interested…in what story is “Chris Packlem” in? Also have you turned any of your work into audio/audible version yet? (You answered this question a while back, but I think you thought i was asking general info on making audible accounts. I am asking if YOUR STORIES are on audio versions yet.)

    I can help. :)

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    • Chris Packlem’s the main character in “One Third of a Wheel,” my upcoming novel.

      And, no, I don’t have my books available as audio-books. It’s something I’ve just considered doing, but I think now it’s not the time for that.

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