A couple of weeks ago I almost gave up on this blog, on writing, on basically everything I was. Quite a strange moment. I was afraid that I might never become what I’ve always wanted to be.
Because, as any self-publisher can tell you, summer is tough. Book sales always go down. In my case, they almost stopped. Even though I released a new title, that just wasn’t enough.
Sometimes things happen, and we can’t explain them. This was one of those times.
And I was bitter and angry and frustrated. Because it was all about me, and my own misfortunes, and I thought the world owed me something for all the time and effort and hard-work I’d put into my writing.
That way of looking at things will always destroy one’s confidence. The world owes you nothing, and the sooner you realize this, the better.
And, yes, during those few moments of doubt I wanted to blame everyone else for what was happening, but then I realized it was my fault. If I gave up, it was me who was giving up.
I suppose moments like these come along quite often during one’s life. When you have to decide whether you’re going down the right path or not, whether you should stop or head back or change direction. Whether you need a new compass or just adjust your goal.
As much as I hate to say it, happiness is a state of mind. In a world of “more is never enough” contentment is a rare thing.
But then again, there’s a fine difference between greed and ambition I suppose.
What I’m really trying to say is that no one’s perfect, and that we all have our moments of doubt. We all want to give up on something at some point. And what we do then is going to leave a mark for the rest of our lives. The consequences of our actions, the echoes of what we did or didn’t do, the ghosts of what could have been but wasn’t meant to be.
But truth be told, sometimes you’ve got to give up. It’s going to happen. And you need to ask yourself, realistically, whether or not you giving up might bring you benefits later on. And ask yourself if there’s anything that can be fixed. If yes, try to fix it.
Sometimes all you have to do is clench your teeth and keep going.
Ask yourself that.
Do you want too much too soon? Ask yourself that.
Does it seem impossible simply because you were expecting it to be effortless?
In my case, I realized that I’m quite young, and that I’ve got many stories to write. I reminded myself that I once stared at what seemed impossible and decided to do it anyway. And the outcome far surpassed my most ambitious dreams when the impossible became a bit less impossible.
And I reminded myself that life has this bizarre quality: hard times come and go. They always, always come and go.
In case you missed it, me and Anca Dunavete are planning to release a collection of short stories this summer. We’re really excited about this project, but we can’t make it happen without your help. You can help us reach our goal and publish the book here.