Your story

I think that if you keep writing at some point you’ll write your first story; the first piece of fiction that truly belongs to you, not only in terms of style and technique, but also story-line and characters. Simply put, at a certain stage in the development of the artist, he learns to write from the heart.

It’s that moment when you write something that’s truly good: a story that your taste tells you it’s good. Just as good as the stories you’ve always worshiped, when you write a story like yourself, not like someone else.

The first time I wrote like myself was when I was sixteen, and I had to write a short story for a competition. I spent 33 hours writing this novella, and I don’t remember sleeping. It was overwhelming. I was mesmerized by the power of what it meant to write something you care about… there’s nothing to break you at that point.

The world outside your window becomes a shadow of a shadow, and people become ghosts, voices faint echoes.

For the first time, I knew what I had to do with a blank page, because the image had been engraved on my brain for so, so long. It felt like setting up a domino. I had done the hard work months and years in advance, and in a quick succession, it was all there… on the page.

I won the competition, and for a long time I believed it to be the only true piece of writing I’d ever write. Mostly because I soon got back to what I was previously doing, which was to write pretty but empty words with the clear goal of making people feel the beauty I was so desperate to show them.

It’s a tough thing to master, I suppose. Writing your story the way you want to is difficult when you’re worried what others will think about it.

The thing about writing is that it’s not when you feel words bleeding out of your heart that you create real art. If you try too much, if you want it too much, you’re probably going to fail. I know I did, countless times. You need to be somewhere in between worlds: the real one outside your window, and the one you’re building on the page.

But that, I’m afraid, takes longer to master than anything else related to writing.

After collecting virtual dust for almost seven years I decided to translate this novella into English and release it. Now, something interesting happened. It felt like someone else had written that story. My style and technique were different, mainly because now I such shorter sentences and paragraphs. It felt odd to read something that felt so foreign.

It was me, but it wasn’t the me I’m now.

Anyway, I tried to preserve the same vision and style of the original piece. If I managed that or not, you’ll be able to judge it tomorrow, when An Emperor’s Will goes live.

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32 thoughts on “Your story

  1. My favourite writer Henry Miller said something similar when he felt he’d finally written something that was authentic and real – ” I’d become the ‘I’ of my I…”
    I totally agree. We all have a feeling when we’ve created something of quality, when we are telling something truthful, as opposed to showboating or trying to please an audience.

  2. I know the feeling. Of the story turning into someone elses translating it. Thats why i keep working on my english – to freely write the language, and be in the inbetween you so beautifully describe even as a foreigner. Thank you. You hit the spot!

  3. You spoke to my heart with this piece. Especially since I just published my whimsical story, “The Rebel Bubble Blowers on a like. Like you, I looked at my old poetry, my old cartoons…and I felt like you did. I’ve somehow changed. Yet, this story…it just makes me VIBRATE with fun…

    I so appreciate your offerings to us…

  4. Great info for any would-be writers out there or anyone interested in writing. I agree with all the above, plus I think that it takes real bravery to write from the heart and a certain dedication is needed. Simply put though I love to write, love the whole process, which is a reward in itself.

    Really nice to meet you Cristian.

    e

  5. Indeed this is probably the hardest thing about writing: “You need to be somewhere in between worlds: the real one outside your window, and the one you’re building on the page”…

    But this is the most beautiful: “It felt odd to read something that felt so foreign. It was me, but it wasn’t the me I’m now.”

    Love your writing! Pleasure to meet you and your words!

  6. Yes, I agree with you. Once I began writing, I lose count of time. My husband will tell me to take a brake get away from the computer. I do so to appease him. He worries about me stting for so long. I love to watch a story take shape. I, too enjoy reading my new writer friends and observe the difference from the first chapter to the twenty-second chaper. Great changes are made by leaps and bounds.
    Good blog. Thanks.

  7. That was intense. As a new writer myself I have felt this in .passing and I think that is why I feel drawn to write now. I can’t wait till it happens to the same extent and fills my whole story, as it did for you.

  8. “It was me, but it wasn’t the me I’m now.” says it so correctly. I felt it, but didn’t know how to say it. Thanks for putting this into words, and giving us all the permission to change and grow.

  9. People tell me I have a voice but honestly I can’t see it when I’m writing it. I can only see it later after I’ve changed. You are very lucky to have had the experience of recognizing your writing style when you saw it. Even if it was just once. I hope that you can find your way back there again.

  10. I really enjoyed reading this, over the summer I started writing a book as well and with that, and between my blog writings, I’ve felt the desire of wanting the words to flow to much, and the constant swing between “I’m an amazing a writing” and “This is terrible! No one will want to read it!” It’s good to know that if you can push through the ups and downs you can write something that feels true!

  11. I try so hard to write, I have started many pieces but stop because I don’t like it, don’t have time or it’s just terrible. I hope I can learn to write as beautifully as you and get the buzz from writing that so obviously drives you.

  12. It is interesting to read over things you wrote long ago. I don’t necessarily think my old stuff is worse, though I’ve come a long way in my editing skills, but it’s an indiction of how I’ve evolved over the years. Different things push my buttons now, and I’ve lightened up quite a bit. You got me thinking. Thanks.

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