Not today…

riskI spent most of today sleeping. Not because I was tired, but mostly because I felt like doing nothing. When I finally decided to get out of bed and write some stuff, the power went out. Ironic, isn’t it? I had spent most of my day telling myself that tomorrow I’ll have plenty of time to write, and when I couldn’t, I panicked.

There are few simple truths in life, and one of them is the fact that we rarely appreciate what we have until we lose it. Until it can no longer be. We tend to take things for granted, and when those things are taken from us, that’s when we realize how important they were.

We’ve always despised the ghost of what can no longer be.

But if that’s so, why not act? Why not act now? Well, first of all, because we’re afraid: of failure, of our dreams coming true. We’re afraid of the unknown, we’re afraid of journeys that might lead us nowhere. So I often tell myself that in order to reach a place no one has ever been to, you need to be lost. Truly lost.

Then, we feel as if time is on our side. Especially when we are young. We see time as an almost inexhaustible resource. But, the truth is, time is never on our side. People often tell me that I’m young and have my whole life ahead of me, but I don’t have that certainty. And neither do you.

As Faulkner wrote, “time is your misfortune.”

We want the easy battle. We want freedom, but we can’t really define it. We want something, and for most of our lives, it eludes us. For most of our lives we feel as if we had and lost a precious object whose beauty we only remember in our dreams.

My philosophy on life is pretty strange, and it’s what’s gotten me in quite a bit of trouble, but it’s also what kept me going when everyone told me to stop. There are no guarantees in life, no safe journeys. We either live or not. Ultimately, death is always around the corner.

I know that a lot of people work hard all their lives with the clear goal of becoming free. They want to buy that kind of freedom that will allow them to pursue their wildest dreams.

But trust me on this one: dreams fade away. Just like a flower… if you don’t take care of your dreams, if you don’t water them and nurture them, dreams will eventually die. If you wake up each morning and sigh because you need to go to a place you despise and sit at a desk for 8 hours… you can tell yourself anything you want: that you need to take care of your family, that that’s how life works, that not everyone gets to do what they love most in the world.

Tell yourself all that, but, then again, if you have to tell yourself that you’re happy, that you should be happy, that other people have less than what you have, you’re not happy. Simple as that.

I’m not trying to change minds, I’m not trying to make people give up their jobs to pursue their dream of becoming writers or painters or singers.

All that I ask is that you live each day knowing that you’ll never come out of this alive. Find a way, not an excuse. Talk less about doing stuff, and actually do stuff. Make stuff happen, because there’s no one who’s going to do it for you.

Dreams die. Sooner or later, if you spend enough time looking at your own reflection in the mirror and telling yourself that you’re happy, life will break you, and all those impossible dreams you were saving for later… they’ll die.


23 comments on “Not today…

  1. lorellepage says:

    Personally, the most rewarding achievements are those you’ve worked hardest for and found support from within. It’s what drives me anyway.

  2. Please, get out of my head. This was painful to read. Painful, because it’s true. Only, when I look in the mirror, I know I’m not happy with this life I’m living.

  3. I stayed in a job that was sucking the life out of me for far too long just because was afraid of losing a decent income. When I put in my resignation letter, I felt light a weight had lifted from my shoulders. I may not have a regular income now, but that I feel like I am living makes this fact seem insignificant. Kudos to you for this post — it is so important to remember that we have a finite time to make our lives happen.

  4. Margy Rydzynski says:

    I crashed out for a day and wrote like mad when I was back up and around. It helps to rest.

  5. swo8 says:

    That reminds me of a Joanni Mitchel song. A lot of truth to it.

  6. woundstofeel says:

    It’s so easy to put things off until tomorrow and much harder to decide it’s going to happen today. I’ve sat for hours in exercise clothes wanting to accomplish something that I was dreading working for, and when I finally did “just do it” I felt free at that moment. Freedom for me is knowing that I allow myself to do the things my body and soul are beckoning me to. Great piece!

  7. I chased so many dreams away before deciding to follow them. Great article.

  8. Another amazing post. I spent the day in bed all day as well. For some reason I needed to sleep 14 hours. But thats not true I didn’t really need to. Really I was afraid, have been for the last week. your “Strange philosophy” on life really resonates with me. And it is completely true that dreams die if left untended. Dreams are a garden, it takes work to make them bloom.
    thanks for another amazing post.

  9. reutzriri11 says:

    When I read the first few sentences of your post, I could not wait long enough for the rest to upload so I could keep reading. I love the way you write. You manage to get to a lot of people with your insights and that really inspires me. Thank you!

  10. Pen and paper – every time!
    Often it’s my energy either never gets online to the rest of me, or quits after a while.
    I sometimes wonder – you have to dare to question sometimes – whether the dreams we most cherish are really us holding onto something because the future seems so empty/uncertain etc, and so we cling on, reinterpreting this as cherishing.
    Reaching into the void….

  11. iuliaf says:

    So inspirational

  12. Well said. I’m in the “education-fase” in my life, and I can’t even remember how many who tells me that it’s really important that I take an education where I can be sure to have a job later, because that’s what really matters. But this concerns me, because if that’s the most important thing for people, how can they truly be happy? And how can their conscience be good when they recommend others to give up on their dreams because it’s “just a dream”? And this includes the whole society, everybody recommend for us students and young people to seek “normal” jobs, because that’s secure.

    I think the society makes many people afraid of living life for the fullest and puts them in a box saying “you must do like this and become like that”. Especially for those who feel unsecured on them selves and who may not dare to take chances like that. We’re saying it’s an open society which accepts everyone just as they are and which supports those who need it, but I’m not so sure of it.

    Like I said, fantastic text. I think you’re absolutely right.

  13. beingeternal says:

    Sailing in this same boat for five years………….to do it TODAY right now or later TOMORROW ………….. Pretty well aware that later never comes……..
    But thanks for sharing this inspiration to act RIGHT NOW. Realized that DREAMS are not confined to night diaries,,,,,, they are meant to be chased until they become the reality.

  14. Becky says:

    This rings very true to me at this time in my life. Great piece!

  15. mochatulips says:

    very strong and touchful… we have to work to make things / dreams happen… only we can do it for ourselves…

  16. cooldude271 says:

    Wow you never lied and I feel like you were speaking to just me. This is fate and God talking to me.

  17. True. And when we die, possibly chasing dreams that were never fulfilled, we’ll finally see that it was the struggle that gave us the will to live.

  18. bkant7 says:

    Amazing !!!!

  19. I really had to say that I’ve read this post many times over, Thank you. Beautiful, so very poignant.

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