In ourselves

stars“The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves.”William Shakespeare

They say everything happens for a reason. They believe in fate, in a certain alignment of the stars. They believe in all kinds of things. They want to put the blame on the universe (or certain parts of it), but not on themselves.

Admitting that you have a problem is the first step to solving it. Admitting that it was, indeed, your fault. You alone messed things up. Take the responsibility and try to fix things.

Yes, it seems impossible at times to do so, but it’s the only way you’ll ever realize what is what. I believe that when we screw things up, and when we see our faults as being our own, we reveal and see who we really are.

Your worst possible version, the one who hates itself so much that’d much rather put the blame on the stars, that’s who you are when you can’t help it. That’s the you you’re actually trying to avoid or hide.

Sadly, it’s all in ourselves. The faults, the mistakes, the anger, the poison, all the darkness and hatred and regret. All that is in ourselves, and until we accept our darkness, until we come to terms with it, we can’t really understand that the opposite is also true.

Our destiny lies not with the stars of a far distant galaxy, but in ourselves. We alone can be great, kind, gentle. We alone can be brave or simply pretend to be. We alone can either lift others up or try to destroy them. The choice is always ours.

In a way, we’re exactly as free as we want to be. There are no stars to control our fates, no right time. It’s all in ourselves. What we want to see, what we make of it. What we decide to do.

They say everything happens for a reason. Yes. It happens for the reason you want to see.


I’d like to thank Harlon, Kristine, and Daniel for helping me out with much needed money for a new computer. Still raising funds, though.

If you enjoy this blog, if you enjoy my writing and would like to help me keep on doing so, you can contribute any amount you see fit here.

Any contribution matters.

Thank you all for your support. It means everything,



16 comments on “In ourselves

  1. Grace says:

    One of the hardest, most painful and scariest trips one can ever make is into one’s own Shadow Self…into the darkest parts of our hearts. Not all that many will go there willingly. It means coming face to face with your own shit, and embracing it. NOT denying it or glossing it over. NOT shifting the blame to mommy or daddy or whomever. But I truly believe with all my heart – as one who has made that journey to hell and back and survived to tell about it – that it’s one of the most important things we will ever do on the road to becoming fully human, fully loving, fully wise. I enjoyed reading your post :)

  2. _chrissyxleo says:

    I found this totally empowering. Like literally, it spoke volumes to me. Thanks so much, this truly lifted my mood :)

  3. Really well written. The more we acknowledge our own faults, the more honest we will be to ourselves.

  4. nawallovexo says:

    Couldn’t have agreed with you more!
    It’s all on ourselves. Nobody else. We simply cannot blame another for whatever happens in our life, good or bad because inevitably it’s a consequence of some decision we made.

  5. Danielle says:

    I find certain bits of this to be really relevant and true, for instance that we are all exactly as free, or bound by shame or ignorance of our true selves, our faults and flaws, our potential, as we choose to be and that it is in each of our power to become something greater than who we are. That has been a resounding theme in my life, recurring as often, say, the breath. But what I find troubling is that, there is no mention of how one comes to terms with just exactly who they are and how damaging, troubling, and sometimes painful it can be. How knowing yourself is not the same thing as making excuses for ones shortcomings and becoming complacent. Does that make sense? You make a valid point but some people will take this to me, “I am selfish and mean and spiteful. But that’s entirely cool because I’m okay with that.” No, it is within your own power to overcome those things and be better than that.

  6. It’s so true. Realizing that I was blaming everything BUT me really opened my eyes and helped me compromise with that darker half of me. Very insightful post, thanks for sharing.

  7. Purposeful writing often comes across as soulless. But you’ve got a great style with lots of soul going here. comrade.

  8. thought provoking, introspecting in nature……I really loved it

  9. penguinonsnow says:

    That was very deep indeed. I don’t see myself however having a darker self, only having faults, distortions and influences.

  10. pattygracekelly says:

    I love this Shakespeare quote.

  11. ephellstrom says:

    One thing that I find interesting in fiction are characters that do just what this article says, and acknowledge their faults. So many times in workshops there were stories where someone was a victim and the story played out in a very woe is me fashion. But solely being a victim isn’t that interesting, and more often than not, untrue.

  12. Kira Harte says:

    I’m going through something life changing right now and I sometimes need a smack upside the head. Even if it comes virtually, you have smacked me upside the head. Thank you.

  13. bluepaddock says:

    I really love the way you unwrap this in an easy way for me to absorb and pull the truck back on the road. Think I’ll dump the baggage at the next truck-stop.Thanks mate !

  14. Yannicus says:

    Shakespeare: the original self-help guru

  15. mjh333 says:

    I’ve been pondering this subject for a while, mainly after seeing the Dalai Lama speak. This is a very different take, I belive somethings happen for a reason but other just can’t. This post shows a different side of the argument and certainly added to my reflections, thanks

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