Amor vincit omnia

amor

“I want love to conquer all. But love can’t conquer anything. It can’t do anything on its own. It relies on us to do the conquering on its behalf.”David Levithan

Most of my characters are hopeless romantics. Well, that’s how I’d go about defining them. Maybe they’re just idealists: they believe in something wholeheartedly, and they stay true to their version of the world, no matter what. Maybe all idealists are stubborn like that.

Jonathan Fisher, in The Writer, wants to become a great writer, no matter what. Chris Sommers, in Jazz, wants to be happy. Francisc Goyer, in A Sad, Sad Symphony, wants to create the perfect symphony, just so he can leave something behind. Something great. The unnamed narrator in Remember wants nothing more than to kiss the woman he’s always been in love with.

It’s strange that whenever I was in love I felt as though I could conquer the world. As if the person who was seated in front of me or holding my hand was the source of a tremendous energy. I never managed to take a hold of that energy though. I could never really pin down the feeling and describe it either.

You feel as if the words are there, inside your head, but you just can’t reach them. And you want to say something no one else has ever thought of saying.

Or maybe you just want to do something… anything.

Or maybe you’re just scared.

You know that ancient Greek legend about humans originally having four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces? And fearing their power Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.

I think we spend an awful lot of time “building” that missing part. We take everything we admire from the world around us, qualities upon which our beliefs are built, we take all those great and wonderful parts we see in others. And all the novels and movies and songs we listen to. And all those strangers we see in the bus every day. And we build our missing half. It’s an unconscious process.

And every single moment that put a smile on our face, or took our breath away, we store it, and we imagine how it would be for someone to constantly make us feel like that.

And then we meet someone, and we feel as if that’s the person we’ve always been in love with.

I believe we’re all searching for the missing half: the half that’s going to make us stronger, better, the half that’s supposed to make us whole again. So powerful the gods themselves would be jealous and afraid.

They say love conquers all. Maybe it just takes away the fear of waking up in a world that neither wants nor needs you. Maybe it even takes away the fear of never waking up again.

***

If you enjoy my blog, if you believe in my dream of becoming a writer, you can contribute any amount you see fit here. The situation is rather desperate, to say the least, so any contribution matters. It truly does.

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12 comments on “Amor vincit omnia

  1. spankylee says:

    I really enjoyed this! I’ve often said that life seems more a process of recovery than discovery. We’re constantly, though unconsciously, trying to return to something we’ve known. Otherwise, how would we know what to look for, what it would smell like, look like, feel like and how it would sound. I’m learning to love this search, realizing that the process may even be the point. And learning to be okay with it.

  2. AnyDayNow says:

    You practically took everything I’ve ever wanted to say and wrote it eloquently in a way I would never be able to. I’ve read so many of your posts and 100% of the time I always say, “me too!” Just one thing I would disagree with is the last sentence in this post. I believe love actually makes us fear never waking up again. Why would I ever want to lose that feeling? The thought of never seeing that person, never touching them, never feeling their love for me would be terrifying.

    I hadn’t heard about that ancient Greek legend but it increases the charm around love and its power that causes even gods to fear.

  3. Heartafire says:

    wonderful writing Christian…enjoyed this immensely.

  4. Hey man,
    I was going over your feed and the title of this little short caught my eye and took me back to one of my philosophy classes where we dealt with the same topic.
    I must say that what you’ve said about ‘building your other half’ rather than finding it was pretty constructive. Although I would personally say that I was looking for a little more on the negative aspect of ‘the wait’ but other than that, kudos man.
    You’ll go places. Cheers.

    -thethomasfactor

  5. jktmstokes1 says:

    Great piece. Very thought evoking and highly enjoyable. I enjoyed the quote and the originality behind the concept of subconsciously creating a other half. Then actually needing and wanting that other half. Makes me want to write about that.

    Cheers.

  6. 18mitzvot says:

    I also wonder why I have so much joyful, creative energy when I am in love. Where is it the rest of the time? Nice post.

  7. Yes love can conquer as God is love out of faith hope and love love is the greatest. Jesus loves all

  8. AK says:

    Being an occasional romantic, I loved this post. It captured the idea of love and searching for your “soul mate” perfectly. Although, I’m not entirely sure I believe in the idea of a “soul mate,” it does provide hope for an ideal situation. I also appreciated how you included mythology in there. Great post!

  9. sandrashart says:

    As writer to writer. Enjoyed this post.

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