Too far apart

many“There are too many of us and we are all too far apart.” ― Kurt Vonnegut

I’m writing these words knowing that people from all over the world are going to read them. People of all ages, ethnic and cultural backgrounds, of different religious beliefs. Most of them, I’ll never get a chance to meet. Most of them, I don’t know how they look like, what’s the thing they want most in this world, or what is it that they’re afraid of… most of them are perfect strangers to me.

Yet, simply by writing these words with these strangers in my mind, having the certainty that my words will reach them, they become a little bit more than strangers. They become human beings, just like myself, and that is one of life’s greatest achievements.

Because it’s becoming increasingly difficult to realize that every single person we see walking past us on the street is another human being. We have become immune to everything but ourselves: we see tragedy and pain on the news, read about it in newspapers… it all feels fake somehow. We can no longer empathize with others, just because we’re so many… so, so many.

And we really are so far apart from each other, because we all build invisible walls to keep us safe. It’s all about our needs, our desires, our pain, our tragedies. We want what we want, and we won’t give up until we have it.

There’s a distance between people, between perfect strangers inhabiting different worlds. That distance has to be traveled one step at a time. We no longer have time for that. We want instant gratification.

We want what we want, and we want it now.

So we no longer care about building genuine relationships with others. Social media, blogs, podcasts, and all that stuff… it makes it easier to feel less lonely. But this kind of interaction doesn’t change the need for real life interaction.

What I’m really trying to say is, we no longer care. We no longer try. We don’t want to build, we just want to buy it already assembled and ready for use.

Yet we still dream about the perfect love, the perfect story, the perfect ending. Yet we still search. The pursuit of happiness still takes up most of our time. There’s a website for everything these days. The answers to our questions are just a few clicks away.

It’s not about physical distance, it’s about the distance between souls, about the barriers we build, about our unwillingness to let other people in.

There are so many of us, and yet on some days it seems we can’t reach a single soul.

Advertisements

268 thoughts on “Too far apart

  1. You are reaching a single soul here in Ireland right now. I love this post. Beautifully written on a day when it has seemed like the world is in turmoil with so much violence in evidence on the news all across the globe. So thanks and keep well!

  2. Wow it’s blown me away every word is just so close to home I feel every word have thought it and now I meet one who thinks alike. When I read something so well written I wish I could feel the paper these words were written on and then write to you to say you “spil ink on paper so well!”

    • The profound thought:
      That’s very interesting… that you feel a connection between his words and the physical act of writing words upon some medium. There is hope yet for our civilization even if we never again scribble our thoughts upon a piece of paper. Any why? Because we think it. That is our paper.

      The simple thought:
      Nothing is more powerful than the feeling to create. Nothing.

      Thanks for pointing this out. We all think, therefore we must all write.

      • I thank you for responding to my blog post on the Manslide blog concerning firearm control and safety. Tell me more controversial facts about gun control tonight, and be sure to log on to http://www.nra.com for more info concerning control and full episodes of Cam & Co., hosted by the N.R.A.’s Cam Newton.

    • Yes, this was beautifully written. We need to try reconnect with one another offline. Because sometimes we’re online to stay connected but in essence we are actually disconnected. I’d much rather prefer real face-to-face time over emails, chats, even phone calls, any day of the week.

  3. Hi Christian,
    I have to disagree with you and in the process hopefully encourage you a bit. While it can be difficult to step outside your world and connect with others in real time, it is not impossible. While I know many people are wrapped up in themselves and don’t reach out to or help others there are many who do. You might have heard about how an Australian cricketer Phillip Hughes died tragically last week after being hit in the neck by a freak ball. Well, when you see how people responded to that all around the world not just because he was a somewhat famous cricketer but also because his family had lost their son and their brother at such a young age and the community came together to support them…and Sean Abbott who bowled the ball. We have also had overwhelming community support during the Brisbane floods where strangers cleaned out the stinky mud out of people’s homes as armies of volunteers swept through Brisbane. I have health issues and it’s true that I sometimes encounter the worst in people who don’t get it. Walk through me when I have my walking stick but generally people are pretty helpful and reaffirming. I do think there is a lot of me me me thinking out there and I woulld put my kids in that camp but there is so much good, community and generosity of spirit out there. Keep looking xx rowena

    • Hi to both Christian and Roweeee,
      There are two sides of a coin. And both are true. @Christian – there is hope :) . @Roweeee – the hope needs a lot of nourishment, which in my humble opinion needs to be at the core of every community.

      A common debate with friends at home is that how much are we willing to invest of ‘ourselves’ into it? With a galaxy of pain and misery that trots on earth, expedited frequently by media, a little step can still be taken by anyone. I’m yet to see/hear about a good deed going viral. If one is able to just overtake the blocks of ego and jealously and take pride in any honest individual effort, it could just start something new.

      A person with limited exposure develops a useful tool/machine, which helps many.. that kind of news/info/update needs to be shared and endorsed. I am not clear on the origins of the following, but I’d like to conclude with the saying – Be the change you want to see. (I’m positive it’ll bear results if followed honestly)

      Peace to all,
      Indraneel :)

      • Be the Change you want to see…very powerful advice and as a parent, I know how true that is and yet how difficult it is where your weaknesses are concerned. Yet, small steps add up and I’m sure people can appreciate when your intentions are good.

    • Hey! So I’m not the only 1 who sees the goodness in the World when so many people seem to be so negative! As I have been taught fairly recently, don’t just open your heart. Open your heart to yourself and the rest will follow! Love makes the world go around! Peace. xx

      • Open your heart to yourself… Invisible walls we create start here. We can’t open up to others before we open to ourselves. But those walls are invisible…
        Good luck to all of us who are looking and in need for love and connection.

  4. I just want to thank you for what you do. This post {RIGHT HERE} that you shared, has sparked a new venture idea for our team.

    Thank you for what you do, and continue doing your thing.

    Stay well,

    -N.N. Team

  5. Love it. Cristian, you are reaching and connecting to people as your this read created an impact on me. Thanks for sharing the post. :)

  6. This is a lament of mine as well, and I agree the self centered attitude reigns supreme. We have the potential to be more connected, yet we choose less. I had very little social connection online and offline, but 6 months ago, I changed that and have since started a blog and a podcast. I have met and made an tremendous number of friends since then. Life is sweeter. Thanks for saying it so kind a manner.

  7. Wonderfully written! Your words are such a perfect reflection of the thoughts I have been having recently too – about each and one of us and the world that we currently live in. We are social animals and personal interaction is an essential part of our survival, yet we often underestimate its importance. You have summarised it quite nice.
    Please also take a look at a recent post by me on the power of love and compassion :)
    http://thehealthphilosopher.com/2014/12/01/the-power-of-love-and-compassion/
    Thank you!

  8. you really portray the downside of technology that triggers even more individuality, so there will be more and more strangers as we have less and less effort to know each other in real life. that could be something worrying in our society nowadays…

  9. I wouldn’t say it’s technology that’s making people cocooned, it’s the will and care to try. It’s that deep down, people really don’t care enough to do something (Guilty of it myself.) Yes, we live in a time of instant gratification, yet we also have new, better, and more powerful resources at our finger tips. I don’t think the problem is a technology issue. It’s a heart problem. If we learn to do all we do with love (and not this quick mumbo jumbo love that’s not genuine) then we will start to see a greater impact on our world.

    • I agree. It’s not only technology that alienates people, but also this idea that there’s too many of us. How can I make an impact on others when there are probably a million others just like me, trying to do the same.

      Feeling like this small piece in a huge machinery is making people feel insignificant.

      And I believe that we, as species, have survived for so long, not because our will to survive, but because we want to thrive. We want to change the world according to our needs. We want more than to live for as long as possible and then die.

      • I agree. So many people sink down to doing nothing because something often (like really often) feels insignificant. When really, every little thing, every try, every smile, every express of love makes a difference. It defiantly gets hard and failures will come, but I choose to believe that we have the power to change the world. Thanks for posting this and opening up this dialogue. It goes to show that we are not alone, that we are more connected than we think, and that life is awesome.

  10. Christian, I take comfort in the fact that there are people like us who care about the real world and the real people in it. We cannot possibly agree with every other person but we can definitely take the time to listen to their story. Thank you for your post it reached out and touched me too.

  11. Your words really touched my heart and gave a lesson of life. I was building another wall, one more barrier from letting someone come close to me.It is your article that helped me out. Thank you.

  12. I loved this article cristian.
    I look at kids zipping around and everything is fresh and new to them. Facing all the stuff that is scary takes daily courage. When asked how he stood all the suffering in the world, I may be misquoting but the Dalai Lama said something like ” I hold both joy and pain in my heart”. That’s why he’s the Lama and I’m not. Like the Grinch, I gotta grow my heart.
    Thank you for reaching out and also following my blog.

  13. I do think it’s a choice, and sometimes the easier way is to not make the effort to really connect. I agree with those on this string who disagree…it may not be as evident as it used to be, but real relationships are still out there.

  14. Am iesit de pe facebook zilele trecute, tocmai pentru ca in pofida celor 300 si ceva de prieteni, ma simteam totusi singur, sufocat in acelasi timp de strigatele celorlalti,de stralucire falsa, de prostie, a mea sau a altora. Sistemul asta nu va mai dura mult timp. Si nu ma refer doar la facebook.

  15. Have to agree about the Vonnegut quote. Reading your post, I agreed with what you were saying, yet at the same time it reminded me that what I do at my job really does somewhat mitigate this sadness. I don’t like having to work for a living, but I do get a real sense of satisfaction knowing that we really do treat people like people, and do our best to help them. I work in health care so we see people at their worst, when they really need someone to be kind to them, to help them negotiate the horrors of insurance, etc. I feel that my co-workers and I really go the extra mile to do right by people, and while I know we are just one little pharmacy at a hospital, we ARE making a difference in human lives. Thanks for reminding me that I am only one person but what I do really does matter.

  16. It’s true. At the bottom of the heart people are dreaming about the pure happiness but to reach this harmony and the feeling of fulfillment is one way : listen to our heart, voice of our soul. In fact, we know all the answers to our question. Greetings, A :)

  17. Thank you. You are so right. Sometimes I stop to think. I imagine myself in a place I have never been, as a person I have never known. I imagine weather I have never experienced and pain I have never had to bear. I think about morning when it is midnight and think of someone walking along the street, being attacked. I think of a father leaving home for many months to work elsewhere, of a mother in a hospital nursing a sick child. Then I think of my own life and my circumstances and realize just how important each one of us is, how important and real our circumstances are, then I know that I need to care. Sometimes, I just breath a prayer for everyone, a real passionate and meaningful prayer.

  18. Dear Cristian,

    Reading this post today, I feel like I have experienced something miraculous and profound. Let me explain. Less than half an hour ago, I was reading a document published by the editors here at WordPress. It was a basic manual about cultivating a successful blog. You were featured in that manual as a ‘novelist-blogger extraordinaire.’ (May God bless with you even more success! 😊) I, on the other hand, only started my blog at 1am last night as the result of a spontaneous decision (I’ve recently turned 20 and have therefore officially lost the privilege of considering myself a teenager… So I’m making more of an effort to hurry up and follow my dreams in my life. Hence, the blog. 😊)

    Since I enjoy fiction writing too, I noted the mention of your blog with interest, and thought to myself: “Hmmmm. That looks very interesting. I’ll make sure to check that site out a bit later.” Then I got a bit distracted by some other unrelated thoughts, and carried on with my day as normal.

    Now, imagine my amazement – and obvious gratitude – when I opened up WordPress shortly afterwards, and found myself dumbstruck at the site of this notification:Cristian Mihai is now following your blog.

    I did a double take. Had I not just read your name in the manual a few minutes earlier? Sir, I can honestly say: I am at a loss to express how grateful I am for your kind support. “Thank you” just doesn’t cut it! Please accept a large slice of virtual cheesecake as a token of my appreciation for your kindness to a little starting-out blogger like me. 🍰

    Then I stumbled across this post. Before now, I was a stranger to your site, but I believe this post has warmed me to your blog and your personality forever. Last night, when I started blogging, I myself was going through a bout of feeling incredibly lonely and sad. I tried to turn that writing into creative energy, and my first blog post was the equivalent of sending out a radio-wave message to the world: “Hey… Is there anybody out there who feels what I’m feeling?”

    So, in short, I couldn’t agree more with the sentiments in this post. Deep down, I think we all want to connect. That’s why we’re here, isn’t it? We’re all writing away in the hope that someone will listen. But we also need to take the time out to listen to others, and develop real, lasting relationships with the people behind their online avatars. Without that, social media will only hinder true “socialising.”

    Before I go, I just want to say, Cristian, that your beautiful words have certainly reached this human here in the UK. I guess I, too, am just another person on the internet, but you have made me think a lot of deep things today. I hope that wherever you are and whatever you do, you will always be surrounded by people who will enrich your life and leave you feeling fulfilled. Keep writing, and stay happy 😊

  19. What you say is true, Cristian. But this crisis is something that we have brought upon ourselves, bit by bit.

    We are too busy with our noses buried in our smartphones to notice the old woman on the bench neglected by her ‘busy’ family or, nearer home, your child that is clamouring for your attention.

    We cram every minute with so much ‘busyness’ till there is no space for genuine bonding in the real world…

  20. Hi Cristian, I do agree with some of what you said. For example, we are all far apart from each other because we build invisible walls to keep us safe. Yes, some people may do that because they may have experienced something in the past which they feel they need to protect themselves with and so the wall goes up.

    Although, I would have to say that there are some parts that I dont necessaruly agree with completely, and please dont take it offensively cause I dont mean it in that way at all. But I would say that the part about people not caring isnt true. I believe, there are people out there who care about building new relationships and I believe that we all do really, even if we may not actually practise it at the time, but at some point we do realise the importance of it. Not just, building relationships, but maintaining relationships we already have are majorly important.

    I believe that there are people out there who try and are trying everyday.

    Thanks for writing this post, I’m sure it has given a lot of readers, like myself, a lot to think about.

    • Yes, I agree R.E. Daniels. As I write this reply using the net, there are several notebooks, composition books that I am writing in, one as a daily log of goals, another notes from library lectures, learning is a lifelong process.

  21. Sadly, there is some truth to this. Society has become less about community and more about the individual. I know there are a lot of lonely people out there. I can’t reach out to everyone, but I do my best to get phone numbers from those who cross my path. Then I try to connect with them once in a while. Face to face is always best, but a phone call can brighten someone’s day. Social media has changed the way we communicate.

  22. Well written and so unfortunately true. Our society has desensitized us to so many of the important things. The things we seem to care about as a collective whole are far less significant than the person sitting in front of you. Thank you for your post. It is a great reminder and good food for thought!

  23. Great post! I couldn’t agree more. A similar thought crossed my mind while deciding what content to include on my blog and how to go about interacting with my readers. I want to use my blog as a medium to really connect with people all around the world, to give hope to those who are stuck in a rut, share the lessons that I’ve learnt and in turn learn from them.

    What a great read! Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.

  24. I think most people would share in this sentiment and because of that I believe that there is hope. Sometimes we become so goal orientated and structured by our daily routine that we completely forget to balance our lives with those who surround us. When you realise that it is possible that you’re the one who shut everyone else out and not that everyone else has started avoiding you, that’s where the change begins. By knowing that it starts with you. I think because of the above post, most people who read it and understand it, will feel a little less lonely. Thanks you for sharing.

  25. You have reached a soul in North Carolina! Your words are beautifully written and I absolutely agree with you. Gail Caldwell once said: “Most of us wander in and out of one another’s lives until not death, but distance, does us part–time and space and the heart’s weariness are the blander executioners of human connection.” It’s nice to know there are people out there who still care about real human interaction. Keep writing!

  26. A very beautiful piece. It certainly has reached me in my little part of the world in the Pacific ocean. You’ve really expressed what so many of us feel and experience when we feel the world is constantly shutting us out. Reading your post makes me realize that, its a really big world that we live in and the challenges that we face may vary across continents, cultures and religions but as a human species in this big world, all of us experience those moments in life. Its good to know that I am not alone.

  27. Very well said, Your words are beautifully put I am greatfull for you sharing them with us all. It only takes one person making a genuine connection with another for change to be inspired and I belive you have inspired some people at least one for sure that I know of ME.
    Thank you for the insporation

  28. I see no tragedy to what you are describing. We have to take into account that we are just thinking animals. We developed to live in small groups, and this is exactly how it works. Our morality depends principally on our instincts, not on our reasoning. We are not biologically made to feel empathy for every human being that looks sad. If it would, we would have to blow our heads off, because the world is currently in utter despair with wars raging on in many countries. Nevertheless, we still enjoy good company, beer, and we close ourselves into our private lives without pretending to care.

  29. This is amazingly true and yet a bit hard to actually completely accept…because, you know, although it’s true that people have stopped caring, it’s also true that people have started understanding. I don’t know what’s better, all I know is bith should exist. Anyway, do you mind if I re-blog?

  30. Cristian, this post is a truthful observation of the world we live in. It is not just that there are so many of us but that building trust, connect, and love in our relationships means that it will at times be messy. It is not just the technology that we wrap ourselves up in but the walls we build around our hearts. When we make a decision to put our hearts into a relationship, it is not if but when will our hearts be bruised or even broken. Once we have a realistic view of what the human connection is like involving joy and sorry, ups and downs, and a great amount of inconsistency then we can engage, dream, and care.

  31. Thank you Christian for sharing. I didn’t even have to read another post from you to know one thing: You are on the path for which you seek. I feel it in every word, and believe in your fire- even when you don’t. The world needs people like you, never forget that.

  32. Hi Cristian,
    I agree with what you said , but with an add on. The more I have opened up to folk the more I have received from them in return. The older I get, the less ego I find in my connection with others and so honesty and openess enters the relationship much sooner.
    Thanks for your thoughts

  33. Pretty much consumerism has destroyed people interacting with each other in a human capacity. Much communication today is done electronically. To illustrate this just look at some of the biggest manufacturers such as samsung and apple, and how they try to encourage people to buy the latest gadgets. Its a double edged sword, useful as modern communication is you cant convey stuff like body language over a webcam or mic and prob a 100 or so other subconscious mental and bodily processes that are an entirely normal part of human communication. Really its a sad state the world has become, with many people preferring isolation because they have forgotten how to speak to people in person and dont feel comfortable with it on a regular basis.

    I for one do appreciate real friendship, and whilst im a geek through and through there is something to be said about sharing a cup of coffee or tea with a close friend in the same room just sitting chatting.

  34. Cristian, you write so eloquently. Thank you for expressing the pain many feel as a result of our aloofness and self-preoccupation in this modern world. I have felt it, and have made it my personal project to connect with people. To have genuine and present interactions: to smile, to learn names and stories, to listen and respond from the heart. What you give to the world is what you receive in return. Perhaps you may be hurt more often by virtue of being open and vulnerable, but that is better than indifference :)

  35. Beautifully written and heartfelt. You’re right at times we seem so far apart and yet in an instant, just one short moment, we can touch across the distance. You have a great blog here. Take care.

  36. You are right the world does work that way, I think many people fear reality, and want to live in their own safe or unsafe world, without trying to better it, care about someone, take a chance on someone who might care for you. People also have not opened their eyes to all the things happening around us, just someday listen and see, really just sit and listen.

  37. Brava! I loved this post and it is the sad after affect of the internet, social media.. I just finished watching Boyhood and the main character comments on this exact sentiment in the most profound way. Your blog entry came at an odd time I’ve been feeling this disconnect for awhile. We might be closer to information and to each other in a sense but our new selves are one dimensional, we have built up walls, as you say and we forget how powerful our words can be. We have no problem insulting someone’s dreams and are more apt to be cruel or worse, not recognize our cruelty. I fear we will all become used to and comfortable without the human interaction. Even in a city of millions you can be completely alone and often are…

  38. Thank you for putting my thoughts into such a beautiful post :) Thank you!
    We may be so close to each other in distance, but yet so far in mind and soul. I’ve realized the older I am, the more open I am to people, the more people I’m willing to meet and interact with. It’s all about making connections. A smile always brings people closer to each other. :)

  39. I wonder some times if the rush in my head is my mind spinning over all that I expect of myself or the state of the world in its speed. I then wonder if I can ever have the time to genuinely get to know others and be decently invested in their lives. Since time goes by so fast, what can I do to have a lasting impression on my heart? Yet, these blog responses illustrate that even in the hustle and bustle we can communicate much-needed truths and ideas to ponder with one another. And thereby, we connect in no insignificant way.

  40. So true. I’ve always found that the greatest irony is that the increasing connectivity of our digital world has made us resistant to the structure of physical interpersonal relationships. I’ve had that discussion with friends of mine many times. Individuals who are funny, witty, charming and kind with myself and other friends, and have a solid, firm online presence, but ultimately struggle with meeting new people or even just having a pleasant conversation with a stranger.

    I think the way out is to just take a moment and look at someone else as a real person. Break through the invisible walls and realize that while you’re the star of your movie, there are billions of other movies happening at the same time: Some ending and some just beginning. Try to imagine what life is like from a different perspective, as a different main character. Smile as you pass. Ask how their day is. Just be generally friendly. Its not as hard as some people believe.

  41. It’s strange when something familiar suddenly takes on a new meaning, and in its fullness it can’t really be put into words what change actually took place. For me it was the way you used “perfect stranger”. I can’t really put into words the full extent of the new sensation I got from it, but in an instant I changed the way I see these words. Good post.

    Kurt

  42. Wow, what a powerful post that really gets you thinking. If everyone one of us goes a little bit out of their comfort zone and communicate with people more, maybe we can slowly fix this.

  43. This post really inspired me in many levels. And i also do understand what is the message that you are trying to convey. Specially when i am from India where the number of people is too many and volume of land is too less, we live too close to each other and so we tend to ignore each other even more. I wish my people would be able to discover empathy once more. I also write when i get inspired. Although may be not as good as you. Do visit my blog and give me change. I hope you like it https://lovemyheartbeat.wordpress.com/

  44. “We have become immune to everything but ourselves.”

    I’ve longed all my life for the day that I can turn to the person sitting next to me and guarantee that we’d be perfectly pleasant with each other.

  45. What we see in others is a reflection of ourselves, if we can accept ourselves and our faults maybe we can better accept others. Recently I told myself to have more positive thoughts about others, and I did, all these things that can change our lives and help us become true to our human nature are a thought away

  46. You make so many good points. With so many people in our lives and with so much to do we don’t make very many deep connections anymore. If we lived in a village with only 20 or 50 people it would be difficult to hide. In most industrial cultures we live with so many people you wont even recognize most of them. It’s a sad result of our modern culture. I think us that feel this way do what we can to bring a little more light into the lives of the people around us.

  47. “It’s not about physical distance, it’s about the distance between souls, about the barriers we build, about our unwillingness to let other people in.” Wow! So perfectly expressed. Thank you so much for this statement and this amazing post.

  48. So, so true. I worry that our current path, or tendencies to forget about experiencing one another, helping one another is leading us down a dark alley. In that fear, I’ve written a dystopian fiction I’m working to get published, and launched a fictional blog in support of same. If you want to check it out, it can be found at CLOVERAmerica.net. Thanks for this post! I wish more people could see our predicament through your eyes!

  49. You reached me. I understand what you are sensing. Don’t give up trying to connect, every response you received to this post proves that there are others out there reaching out and connecting. It’s a beautiful thing :)

  50. Great post … and your words reached out across the globe and found me on Vancouver Island, British Columbia amidst my work day. Raining Clouds in the above replies said it for me ” You just broke that invisible wall between you and me”. And you made my day better for it!

  51. Really interesting piece Cristian. Have you read up on the instant gratification monkey and the monkeysphere? Hope to come back and read more of your stuff. I just started blogging and have in some ways realised the benefits of reaching out to people by being honest with yourself, to yourself online. The WordPress community is actually surprisingly close and in a lot of ways, kind!

    Peace brother.

  52. This is a sad perspective, and I’m happy to disagree with you and Vonnegut. Here you are, blogging to the world. You have 105,300 followers and 139 (so far) comments. You are in a community of people who care and relate. This community undoubtedly pulls in people from multiple continents and many countries. You are personally contributing to a neighborhood of bloggers who make our enormous globe into a local place for everyone who joins us.

    Blogging is a place where I have found a loving, vivacious, and supportive group of friends all over the world who have begged me for real life visits, and I have begged them in turn. Indeed I have managed to meet a couple of them, and I know stories of other bloggers who do the same. It’s not a community that matches your grandparents’ communities, but it is yet a community. I am glad you are in it. <3

  53. Therein lies the beauty of humanity– the struggle to survive combating the struggle for intimacy. The need for protection and the need for knowing and being known. You put it beautifully.

  54. it definitely takes some very conscious living to overcome this… i’ve felt it myself often. but now, living in new york city of all places – a place that as a child i always found to be plastic and fake and as an adult often hear about how busy with their own lives everyone is – i’ve found that it’s precisely the fact that on the inside everyone WANTS to make a true connection with other people that makes it possible to do so. we just have to live consciously and take that leap of faith that the other person wants to engage too. go forth, be bold!

    • I feel exactly the same when I walk down the streets of central London. Everyone simply minding their own business. It’s very difficult for a person like me, who wishes good morning to even the bus drivers, to enjoy life in that place.
      But, I must say..if you speak to someone, they do help you and bless you with a beautiful smile!

  55. Beautiful post indeed! I enjoyed every single word of your post!
    Very well written! I’m not sure but I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that everyone reads your post!
    Thanks a lot!

  56. This is so true and accurately reflects humanity’s current state of being, However, I must say that it seems you have forgotten the ones such as you and I who actually care and try to rebel against this condition of living (I assume). Nonetheless, it is a beautiful and well-expressed post.

  57. Ah, the misnomer of social media. There’s truly nothing social about it. Getting as many eyes on as many ads as possible and that’s it. It keeps people very thinly connected, but it’s not really meaningful. I agree, we’re further apart now than ever before, yet, at the same time, we’re connected to so many new people, places and experiences. It’s a trade off, this information era. Before, most of us remained in the sphere of our families, or communities and our villages. But now we can go anywhere we want to through a few, thin connections.

  58. Well said. For me, the pursuit of happiness is a calculated expectation. We all (or most) want to find happiness. I stopped looking for it and just let it happen. What I thought would make happy stressed me out and what I thought I didn’t like came from the fear of not knowing for the fear of trying something different. Life is full of opportunity, wonderment, chance, love, acceptance and by feeding the mind, body and soul fresh thoughts, new lessons and the gift of meeting new people everyday, we stop pursuing and start living.

  59. yes ur right , we are so many . i just wanted to say that yes we are perfect strangers , but ur words has this effect on me like i’m the one who’s written them even that my words aren’t perfect like urs , but what i’m trying to say is , ur words inspire me every time i read your articles , it’s like u write what i feel but instead of me writing it in a clumsy way , you write it in amazing way :) i hope someday i could meet you

  60. I really do agree with this post to an extent. However, maybe it is because I am from the younger, “up and coming generation” that I have to put my two cents in to explain the thoughts some of us have and just state my opinion, whether it is “wrong” or “right”. I understand your point in saying we have become desensitized to the world around us, but I really do believe there is hope, especially in the adolescents. Technology and social media is always going to have a sense of being disconnected while connected because we aren’t directly seeing each other. While this is true, I do believe this great distance you’re writing about is being shortened, in a sense, because of online interaction. Most of us do have real-life relationships (parents, sisters, brothers, friends, teachers, boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, students, etc.). We each have our own niche in the world, and just because we don’t start up a conversation with the man who takes the same route or grabs coffee at the same shop as we do every morning doesn’t mean we are unaware of the life around us. Yes, maybe some of us are always glued to our phones. Yes, there may be some bad things about that, but there is also good. For example, I saw another user say they commented from Ireland. That is over 5,000 miles from where I live, yet both our comments are being joined on the same page. Crazy. I traveled to Germany last year for school and met a couple with whom I still keep in touch with even though we are almost 10,000 km apart. Wow. Our interactions online can bring us to other cultures and people in those cultures. It can be an outlet for us to share in our personal art, music, feelings, and everyday lives with strangers. It can keep us all connected to each other in some way, DESPITE the distance. I do agree with many points you made, but I also believe, from being a part of the youth in our world, that we have become more sensitive to others in a sense. We have a better understanding of the LGBT community. We speak for what we believe in. We support equal rights. We help counsel others. We talk about our feelings with others. We share laughter and tears. We can find just about anyone to connect with. I think maybe older generations need to take a look at the bright side instead of finding cons in everything and realize that everyone in the present isn’t as self-absorbed as they think. Sorry about the long comment on an old post. I found this post/thread to be very interesting and wanted to be a part of it. :)

    • I like the sentiments of your comment. It is good to be positive about our time. If you are able to spread the good vibes then, perhaps those good vibes will spread. They have reached me, an aged person, who normally has a lot to criticise the modern time for.

      I, too, have contacts around the globe and that makes me part of a small community.

  61. You have an amazing grasp on what the high tech world has become. When I was growing up in the 50’s in the almost Heaven of West Virginia, if we wanted to see someone we had to walk there. Visiting someone or someone visiting you was a meaningful experience and always called for celebration. Today relationships are just a click away but are so wanting to the soul. Where is the eye contact, the holding of a hand, the joy of the other’s smile, and the warmth of a shared tear? Your thoughts that people no longer seem real and therefore have lost their significance is a profound observation. How sad that we have become a latch key society. We have built our walls to keep our fears at bay only to find that we are trapped within. The saddest thing of all I think is that we have forsaken the greatest commandment of our Creator, “This I command you, that you love one another.” I am not saying that we no longer love, I am saying that we have lost the intimacy of love for one another. Your post was a good read and inspired much thought, thank you.

  62. A very thought provoking post, it left me feeling rather sad, Sad to think we have succumbed to technology to the extent, we have lost perspective of life and our existence.
    I appreciate your thoughts and post, may I recommend you visit a friend of mine on Word press, Sue, she goes by the name Dreamwalker.

  63. Your post touched both my spirit and soul in ways I can’t begin to express. I’m currently traveling through this dark road called loneliness while regrettably I must admit I have four children and two grandchildren. Indeed “there are so many of us, yet on some days it seems we can’t reach a single soul.” why? People just don’t care anymore. At least in my surrounding this is the case. These days it’s all about self, my need, my goals…And worse of all, the same pattern is being transferred to the new generation: “you only matter when we need you. Or, when you can give us something tangible.. love is the last “item” in our list.” Genuine relationship is a thing of the past – people no longer speak, feel from the heart; now it’s from the wallet and the lips.

  64. Wonderful thoughts. Cristian . ( I came via a reblog of your post.. )
    You finished your insightful post with these words.

    “There are so many of us, and yet on some days it seems we can’t reach a single soul.”..

    It may often feel like that.. Yet if we reach just ONE soul who is made to feel better by our words, then to me we have bridged that gap, as we unite each other with our words..

    Love and Blessings in all you do.
    Sue

  65. Cristian your post was absolutely on point. Our challenge remains: celebrate the gifts and transcend the penalties of our modern age of communication. Thanks for a moment of sharing familiar thoughts.

  66. This made me realize that no matter how beautifully I phrase my thoughts, nothing compares to going out and using your hand to reach out to others. Thanks for this.

  67. Wonderful, this! You’re absolutely right, we’ve all become so caught up in the me-culture that we’ve lost touch with other humans. But then again, you reached out to so many people (look above) and random strangers like yours truly….that’s got to be reassuring, in a way. :)

  68. ‘Social media, blogs, podcasts, and all that stuff… ‘ is what separates us. I understand its usefulness, but like fire, it should be the tool and not the master.

  69. Words so full of beauty and honesty. It amazes me sometimes how the power of social media brings out both the beautiful and the ugly side of humanity. This post is something everyone should read.

  70. I agree with the desensitized part of this post. I’ve noticed over the last few years I can see horrible tragedies reported in the news with little emotion. On the other hand I can talk with someone for 5 mins online and feel extremely empathetic not to mention people I personally know. I believe it’s a form of sensory overload. We see so much death and destruction in the news today that some of us become so accustomed to it that it just seems like a fact of life. I don’t agree with the disconnection from those around us completely. I believe plenty of people are becoming introverted yet with social media, the Internet, blogs like yours, etc…I believe that there are plenty of opportunities to reach out to others. Communication over the Internet is not the same as talking face to face, yet it gives you the opportunity to meet people you wouldn’t ever meet otherwise as well as the ability to communicate with friends & families when separated.

  71. Powerful yet truthful words! But, not everyone is like that. There are those who actually prefer to talk with and get to know people face to face and not over the internet. There are those who do care, who do try, and who know that as long as they keep trying, they can reach people (even if it’s that one soul). Even if it’s just one, you’ve accomplished something and helped someone. True words but at the end of the day, I still have faith in our human race – no matter what path we each go down. Like you said, we each still want and need that love, affection and connection with another soul. The internet/social media cannot provide such a thing. Great post!

  72. Has to be the saddest fact I have come across in a while. But, hey! I like the thought of connecting with people through this medium and making them ‘a little bit more than strangers’.

    Beautifully written!

  73. I know how you feel. I actually left facebook because of this. And it helped. I have more real-life interactions with people now, as I used to. I feel happier and more alive. It’s about what any of us is willing to do to walk away from the fantasy and back to the reality.

  74. This was an insightful and bittersweet post. I’m glad I stumbled across it.

    Funnily enough, as I was looking out at the busy street earlier today, I happened to think about all the billions of people scattered around the globe that I was sharing that precise moment with. I suddenly regretted that I would have the chance to meet so very few of them in my lifetime.

    Two points you raised in your post did make me smile, though. For one thing, not knowing how some of look is a blessing for both of us, believe me. (Note the bag on my head.) Also, I really can’t say that having a blog makes it easier for me to feel less lonely. I guess I would need some readers for that.

  75. “There are so many of us, and yet on some days it seems we can’t reach a single soul.” Nice line.

    However, it is rare that most people even realize just how true it is.They really believe that in some profound way, although superficial, they are connecting with people everyday.

    The person who connects deeper with himself is never alone. Go within and connect to the real source.

  76. Christian, I love your post, words that are so very true. I often ponder how most people are always so preoccupied with their cell phones wherever they are. We are always looking down at something instead of looking up at the beautiful faces that meet us on the streets. We distance ourselves with technology and use it as an excuse not to be available in person. I was excited to hear about “Go Dark” day when everyone was supposed to shut off their cell phones and get together with their loved ones and really spend time together…no text messages, no checking Facebook, no tweets, no email…but I wonder how many people actually participated. I mentioned it to my teenage niece and nephew and they just wouldn’t hear of it, or they probably just ignored me. We are all spirits in bodies living our lives and pretty looking for the same things…happiness and peace….so why so distant? Thank you for the amazing way you spun your words into an honest and very disturbing tale of disconnection on our planet…can’t wait to read more!

  77. Beautiful post! Makes me feel better on a very isolated morning. When I walk through the streets I always remind myself of respecting another ones pain and turmoil, not searching for approval or gratification, always smiling first. And not being sad when I don’t get a smile in return.

  78. I instantly felt connected to you and the truth that you described in this piece. I do believe that we rely so much on social media to bring us closer together, but often times that isn’t genuine. I’m going to continue reaching out to others and build meaningful relationships! Thanks :-)

  79. Wonderful post, Cristian. I enjoyed reading it so much because it reminds me of the reason I began writing my own blog, knowplaceintheworld.com. Both of us see a need for a closer human connection but also feel that it seems more and more difficult to reach. We should continue holding out hope for one world, one people.

    Thank you for posting. I look forward to more of your work.

  80. Well, I think you can be closer to somebody in another country through intimate emails and chats than to a person living in the same house. I know this, so does the main character of my book. Nice blog!

  81. ‘It’s not about physical distance, it’s about the distance between souls, about the barriers we build, about our unwillingness to let other people in.’

    this. and the entire post… yes, yes and yes. this really resonates with me. ive been thinking about this lately and the only thing that is missing is being able to put words together to describe what ive been feeling. thank you for a lovely post, it most certainly did reach other humans, including me.

  82. wow, absolutely mind blown… a thought so simple yet complex. It really resonates with me. Its profound thoughts like these that spark truth, imagination and creativity from minds untapped, without bounds!
    Great writing.. I loved truly loved it.

  83. To me, nothing beats sitting down and having a good dialogue. Recently, I was discussing an important event that took place in my life with a friend and we’re texting back and forth. Ugh! I would have rather heard her comments, seen her face and have a back and forth exchange. To me, technology has taught us to disconnect with people, ideas and situations on such a superficial level. I also learned I would never take online classes again–even though I earned my Masters–nothing beats being with people, hearing the instructor, asking questions and hearing different perspectives.

  84. This sort of reflection can seem a little grim, but it’s always wonderful to know that there are some people out there who still want to make a connection with others. If you ever want to talk, about anything. let me know!

  85. You are very right! People are desensitized to true emotions. I noticed it first in health with doctors but it’s true of all of us. This is why I do not watch the news and instead seek it because I want to learn it instead of being balked at it to WANT to know it instead of being force fed what they want me to know. Moreover, yes we should all try harder to be real people who interact on a more personal level with less technology when we have the means. I prefer the company of genuine people to a text or phone call any day!

  86. Compassion – love in action, is still evident in the lives of a number of individuals. Those who are committed “salt and light” of the earth still contribute to the good of others. Nameless, faceless volunteers still go to places where they can serve others and sacrifice time, money and even lives for goodness’ sake. When super typhoon Yolanda hit our country, countless volunteers came and spent much time and energy. There were those who gave much from their heart. I think people still try to connect with fellow human beings, and should be given a chance to be acknowledged and affirmed. Timely and reflective piece!

  87. It’s funny how technology has connected us in ways previously thought impossible yet we are so disconnected. I heard someone talking the other day about receiving a personal handwritten card and how much they appreciated it because this type of communication is becoming so rare. I think technology is great and it’s opened so many doors to people who were previously excluded (for example the blind) however there is no substitute for real human connection. As evidenced by the many comments here this post resonates with many people. Great job!!

  88. Love, that’s what everyone wants. It’s an inside job. If we can look at total strangers with love and compassion for their journey in life, then we become connected to everything. But it is a lot of work to go within and find that love for yourself first. Once that flow starts, it’s a beautiful thing. But, sadly, we are more connected than ever, yet more disconnected than ever.

  89. And some days we find new people, who as you say, we’ll probably never meet. But all these connections definitely enrich our lives somehow and lessen the blow of loneliness, by degrees. Thanks for reminding me that social media still has the power to do that! :)

  90. You found the right words to express something obvious to many using social media. As you can see from the many replies, you have hit a sweet spot of many reader out there. What comes to my mind is that this virtual world will never substitute real life interactions, but it has the capability to change the state of mind of people. Let us hope that most will use it in a positive manner so their real life becomes their place to execute goodness and experience real love.

  91. I think part of the ‘not wanting to build’ is a result of our generation. We came into a world with everything already built for us- we just need to buy it. But there’s good news! With the popularity of websites like Pinterest, more and more people are trying to do basic things themselves.

  92. You have deeply touched a heart in America with this piece! So beautiful and brutaly honest are your words! I see this everyday when people wont take the time to smile at a stranger and say hello! We have become so disconnect from humanity. You can see all of those with the pain on their face who obviously need help or some simple kind words of encouragement. How many will stop to help? Virtually none! How many have taken drastic actions and become lost simply because no one would stop to pay attention? Thank you for writing this, it needs to be said!

  93. True words, spoken from the heart and soul. Kudo to you dear. I agree with you wholeheartedly. We have lost touch with loving one another….there is still hope….. :)

  94. Internet was supposed to make distances short and everything available with a click. The reality you are describing is a fact for those who’ve lost themselves in the computerized world. Everything we do or don’t do causes some kind of effect. Fear of not to be present everywhere or miss something has made many people maniacally obsessed with mobile devices. Although we can be virtually everywhere, it’s a superficial presence. It’s just the beginning yet, and people who won’t find the balance between the virtual and real world will become more negligent, more ignorant and less human. I haven’t experienced in my life what you’re writing about, but that might be because I’m older and dealing with real life matters and teaching others to do the same. I also believe that billions of followers or millions of likes do not reflect a genuine interest or make one’s life anyhow better. It is the distorted reality of an unreal world. I was wondering anyway how was it possible so many people read it and responded. It must be so that they have the feeling of a wall around themselves and loneliness. I wanted to leave a comment to tell that even though this is true when we are talking about the global human society as an indefinite community of average people, thankfully, there are many other people who really care, who do something to make this planet a better place as opposed to talking about it. well, good to one more time draw attention to the fact that everything has two sides, and one of them is usually bad.

  95. I know my reply will probably drown in the sea of comments, but that doesn’t matter to me. What matters to me is that when I read this post I felt a real strength moving through me. Today I am going to connect a little more with those around me. I want to say thank you for this. Thank you for not just writing this but letting me know that others like myself are out there, and together we make this place a little better for each of us.

  96. It is true that people hide behind social media as a false means of connecting with others. Before globalization, we wouldn’t even have known about tragedies across the world, but we would certainly know more about our neighbors.

  97. I wish I could read each and every comment on this post, I wanna know, “do they feel the goose bumps too?” Finding this blog has just turned out to be a great blessing!

    About 3 months ago, I published a blog (mindconvos,com) for one beautiful reason (among others): I wanted to discover and connect with amazing people with the most beautiful minds through soul deep and inspirational writing.

    I am quite the ambivert (the introverted extrovert or vice versa) but somehow I developed, over the years, the burning desire to find like minds, people that think the way I do, that feel the way I do, people with that special but profound way of thinking, and just a few minutes ago, you followed my blog.

    I’m truly grateful that I found you or maybe, you found me :)

  98. This is so true and amazing. I feel you. We have been so badly desensitized, we’ve seen so much we don’t know what to feel anymore. Need to hide is stronger than the need to face problems. We are all the same, facing the same battles wherever we are, whatever we do, however old, we are the same.

  99. That’s why we need to take some spaces away from all the tablet, phone, laptops, and stuffs that can distract us from socializing with other people. :P

  100. I really appreciate your thinking my friend, especially these line are just awesome”Yet, simply by writing these words with these strangers in my mind, having the certainty that my words will reach them, they become a little bit more than strangers. They become human beings, just like myself, and that is one of life’s greatest achievements.”

  101. Speaking in generalities. Indeed it is true, and this critique has been uttered over and over before and will probably continue to be so until humanity disappears. But then again perhaps our languages don’t fully encompass what human relationships have become. Are those of us that hold such sentiments not part of the evolution that we are going through, or are we free from the degradation that has stricken us?

    I like how you replied to only the ask for a reblog and the mention of technology not being at fault.

    Why do we have to make an impact on others, and knowing there are millions others isn’t a new realization within human existence. Too many of us is only a problem because our economic system is built to not sustain the too many of us that do exist.

    We want to change the world according to our needs? If so, how is being part of the human machine a problem if that machine is changing the world to fit humans’ needs? Perhaps I find this writing to show a bit of “red scare” mentality. Was humanity to become a collective of individuals who worked in sync as the gears within a watch do, then how is that negative, and how does that imply we don’t make relationships with each other?

    Perhaps our apathy grows through how our connected nature connects us with so much of the grime that is the world. We need to steel ourselves against it to function. Perhaps.

  102. “The pursuit of happiness still takes up most of ‘our time’.” You have said well. The sad reality is time is not really ‘ours’ in most cases.
    “I wish I had the wings
    Of Noah’s pretty little white dove
    I would fly this raging river
    To reach the one I love
    But I have no wings
    And the water is so wide
    We’ll have to row a little harder
    It’s just in dreams we fly
    In my dreams we fly!…(Joni Mitchell)

  103. While I agree with some of what you say, I don’t agree that this applies to everyone. Some of us are happy to help others, see past our own grief and tragedy and use it to help others. There are many that go out of their way to ensure that those around them are safe and well and yet you appear to group everyone into a basket with such negativity that it is unfair. I am certain that you did not mean for it to come across in this way.

    Some things in life are guaranteed, we live and we die and somewhere between those two happenings, we do our best to make a difference, however small that difference. If we affect the life of only one person in a positive way it is still one life that has benefited for the greater good.

    Life is a journey that is not set out in stone. Along the way, we take the wrong road for the right reasons and we reflect on those decisions and base our future actions on those consequences.

    There are many of us who appreciate the simple things in life, walking, nature, sounds, scents, the warmth of a hand on our hand and a smile across a room.

  104. I never realized this kind of thing until reading this but the other day I was trying to look up something I needed for a class but my phone was being janky. I fought with it for a bit but gave up on it and asked the student sitting behind me. Turns out he didn’t know either and we spent like 10 minutes getting an answer. Now we’re great friends but we actually talk once in a while, and turns out he’s a pretty cool guy. Looking back guess that never would have happened if the internet wasn’t uncooperative. It’s sad really. Too bad the internet drops out often, I might actually have a decent number of friends.

  105. Nicely put. I am very, very new to world of blogs, and I have been touched by “meeting with strangers” in a dialogue that people who meet in the flesh rarely share to that level. We need both kinds of interaction for sure, but this sharing across the globe is special. Thank you for sharing your part of it :)

  106. “Yet, simply by writing these words with these strangers in my mind, having the certainty that my words will reach them, they become a little bit more than strangers”.

    It is better to have strangers who are in our minds than having….friends and relatives who are ….NOT….in our minds !!

  107. Woah. This post is spot on in describing the human experience right now in all ways. Well written and well said. We all just need to take some unselfish time and realize that we are apart of something much bigger. Cheers from Arizona, CA.

    Thanks for following my blog, I am so glad I came across yours. Will look forward to reading more from you!

  108. One of the strangest and most counter intuitive results of globalization (at least from a sociological viewpoint) is that, as you point out, we are so very isolated as individuals and wholly enveloped by our own, personal realities.

    Important message and well written.

  109. I thought you said you could not sing. Your words sound like music to me. Perhaps old women listen with well-tuned hearts and we recognize the dissonance and consonance and counterpoint. Raise your voice. You have an audience!

  110. It’s so true. And sometimes, what we need is just some kind of reciprocity in any kind of relationship. Everyone’s busy we know that but when we hear it all the time and it’s us who always initiates the calls it gets tiring sometimes. I was beginning to feel like my BFF and I were having a falling out but we reconnected yesterday.
    Everyone has all kinds of excuses, she has young kids I have school and we both work full time but we just have to make time for the things and people who are important to us.
    Thanks for sharing.

  111. And we really are so far apart from each other, because we all build invisible walls to keep us safe. It’s all about our needs, our desires, our pain, our tragedies. We want what we want, and we won’t give up until we have it.
    Just quoted this line and the whole post has moved me thanks you for such a waking up call with my ears i am hearing you very clear and willing to put action :)

  112. “…People of all ages, ethnic and cultural backgrounds, of different religious beliefs. Most of them, I’ll never get a chance to meet. Most of them, I don’t know how they look like, what’s the thing they want most in this world, or what is it that they’re afraid of… most of them are perfect strangers to me…”

    Just to add that some of the perfect strangers are yet to be born but they will see this piece some days or years to come.

    Awesome writing that is to withstand ages and barriers

    Reading from Kenya in East Africa and I admire your work, how you select your words and put them down in writing

  113. Your blog resonates the feeling of every soul living in this super-connected tech world.The feeling of aloofness in a crowd. The feeling of loneliness in a relationship.It’s true when they say human beings have become more disconnected with each other in this connected world.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s