The other side of fear

fear“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”Jack Canfield

Let me tell you about fear. It’s poison. It’s poison for your mind. It makes you lose control, it makes you freeze, it makes you take the wrong decision. When you let fear take over, you’re just an echo of your former self. An empty shadow and nothing more.

But we’re all afraid, aren’t we? Even the brave are afraid. There’s no such thing as fearless. There’s always something to be afraid of. What will happen, what might happen, what we might lose, what we might never gain.

So… what is there to be had on the other side of fear?

The awful truth about life is that what doesn’t kill often makes you wish it did. There’s great sadness and pain in this world, and we all get our fair share. But, you see, eventually all those things that don’t kill us either make us stronger or weaker. After a while, when pain becomes but a memory, we have a choice.

We can either decide to become stronger or weaker. We can harden ourselves up or not. The choice is always ours.

But we’re afraid… even when the pain goes away, we’re afraid it might return. Even after heartbreaks heal, we’re afraid someone else will break our hearts again. We might never want to fall in love again. We might want to spend a lifetime behind closed doors, just to be sure.

That’s when we need to fight fear, we need to see what is it that we can find on the other side of fear.

All our dreams and expectations. All our ambitions. All the power and the courage and the determination and the discipline we could ever need. All that lies just on the other side of fear.

I’ve always wanted to go to the United States and forge a better future there. Ever since I was six, actually. I never even traveled there, mostly because I was afraid of the visa requirements. Or the fact that I’d fail. I just wanted to fight a sure battle, but no one could ever guarantee me that. No one ever will.

And I’ve filled the ocean that lies between Romania and the US with excuses, endless scenarios, and fear. I’ve thought about it, over and over again, and decided that it would be best to wait. Living in a foreign country, all by myself, seemed like too much. Just the thought that I’d need to go through a lot of trouble just to arrive at my destination seemed impossible.

I’ve never even been on a plane.

But…

There’s one thing about me that I never lost, one thing that I didn’t learn or mimic from others. I want things so badly that I’d be willing to do anything to get them. When I decide that it’s time to do so, I don’t let anything stand in my way.

I did the same for writing. I wrote on and off for 8 years before finally deciding that I’d better man up and write more and more stuff. And finish stuff. And get stuff published.

There are no impossible journeys in life. Only journeys we’re too afraid to even start.

Now I know that life’s all about being afraid and doing it anyways. In fact, fear should motivate me. It should drive me to act, to try my best, to try to solve problems.

I don’t want to spend a lifetime dreaming about an ideal future. I don’t want to wish for it to happen. I want to make it happen. Because no one else will do it for me.

And that makes all the difference.

The world is never against you. The world does not hate you.

You’re just alone. You and your dreams. And it’s entirely up to you to make them happen, one at a time, before it’s too late.

Because the most tragic thing that could ever happen to you is to realize that it’s too late.

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46 comments on “The other side of fear

  1. Hi Cristian,

    Its my pleasure to be around your fantastic blog. I like the way of your writing i.e. fear is poison for the success. Definitely, I do agree, the success is on the other side of fears. How mind blowing you are! Let me follow your blog!

  2. rjreitinger says:

    Fear is a seminal sales tool. It’s also used to drive News audiences higher. Too bad we can’t wear a Fear Shield just go Nope O’clock on the whole business. Thanks for the great post.

    • markquinn7 says:

      In the sci-fi book “Dune,” by Frank Herbert, there is a neat passage
      that is the “Litany Against Fear” or something like that by the
      “Bene Gesserit.” This wonderful little bit of prose has always helped
      me see how both debilitating fear is, and how freed one is while letting
      it “pass through me, and leave no trace.” I read “Dune” years ago and just
      gobbled it up wholesale in a kiddish sci-fi fandom way without wholly analyzing
      what I was reading, but I leave that little “bit” of the book on my hard drive
      and draw inspiration from it once in awhile.

  3. SilverGirl says:

    Great post!
    I know how you feel. I’ve wanted to go to France since I was a child. I am now 47 years old and have decided to go this year. It’s quite a risk..
    Going to France doesn’t sound like much but I have had to overcome a great many fears on a lot of levels to do this.. and now I am finally ready.
    I hope you make your dreams happen :o)

  4. Yoshiko says:

    Indeed, fear drives me to act

  5. brinkling says:

    This post really hit home. Thank you for writing it.

  6. Tagari says:

    “the most tragic thing that could ever happen to you is to realize that it’s too late”

    so true

  7. I needed to read this…..thank you.

  8. blondediaryx says:

    Totally agree…sometimes i feel as if my fears are taking over my life.

  9. checkasmith says:

    To me, everything you write reads back and sounds like poetry.
    I agree with the points you made.
    I think fear is something that we should all use to make us stronger and more determined to reach our goals in life. I understand that it is easier said than done, but, once we get over that hurdle nothing can stand in our way. Also, the way in which I see it, human beings create fear, or are told to fear something. Again though, that is only my opinion. I always say to myself: would this exist if people were here?
    Thank you for sharing this, and I wish you all the best with your dreams and ambitions for this year and beyond!

  10. Could not agree more. Fear is a terrible thing. You have this great thing going for you, you are not so afraid of others’ opinions that you are afraid to write. So many people are! I hope you get to come to the US someday!

  11. Leigh Pierce says:

    Wonderful read and when you stop and really think about how short our time is here on this earth, nothing makes more sense than to overcome those personal fears and leap forward into the journey of your dreams-the extraordinary awaits you!

  12. Leigh Pierce says:

    Wonderful Read, Christian! We have such a short amount of time on this earth–The best part of our journey begins as soon as we stop allowing our personal fears to control us and we leap forward to pursue our dreams! Happy 2015!

  13. ltaft925 says:

    I guess I’m not the only one

  14. rebekalee says:

    Wow. Exactly what I needed to read today. All totally true.

  15. You have at least one friend , if you want one, and there is lots of time in every moment. Have courage, use it wisely and stand firmly on the ground!
    Pure Love
    Maitreya

  16. Yu/stan/kema says:

    This is the best post I’ve read that you’ve done. Well-written and helpful.
    Yu/stan/kema

  17. jctintle says:

    You put it out there, pal. I enjoy your writings.

  18. Very inspiring, I needed this right now too. You are absolutely right about fear. I believe you can achieve your dreams. It sure is freeing when we conquer some of our fears. I think we really don’t have anything to fear in the big picture, but in this manifested existence it sure is hard to realize this. Best of luck to you in everything.

  19. mynihility says:

    “There are no impossible journeys in life. Only journeys we’re too afraid to even start.”

    Totally hit me bacause it is true. I have also been scaring myself of countless what if’s that I have put aside the things I wanted to do for myself. I am trying to change that though and I wish that you also overcome your fears. :)

  20. endiadavis says:

    So true. Great blog!

  21. imgracen says:

    Great one.

  22. Yes, I hope it’s not too late. Thank you. Always.

  23. uju says:

    Aptly written Cristian.

    “there are no impossible journeys. Only journeys we are too afraid to start.”

  24. gabbartrip says:

    Great post! There’s much fear out there, and all the times I have fought it and everytime I try to face and reduce a fear, I try to think of fear as working in fractals. You overcome one fear, and how you did it helps you in overcoming the next one. Again, great post- you put it down so well! Regards.

  25. sikah8 says:

    It just like you wrote this for me. You just wrote what I’ve been thinking. Get the visa requirements for the usa. Dont let fear stop you like it stops me. Im an international student in the usa and yes, its not easy but its not impossible to be here.

  26. Absolutely adore this

  27. I used to feel like fear was taking over my life. Was always fearful of something or other until one day, I decided to face my fears and that’s when I realized that I was fearful of fear itself. Now, I know I am living when I’m staring fear in the face and I choose to push through it.

  28. Mandy Moran says:

    Fantastic piece gave me goose pimples, the piece about fear driving you struck a cord. :)

  29. i always fear about everything, because being in that feeling always reminds me that life is not always about get what you want,, but it getting worst…im afraid of being happy, because it seems doesnt exist.. what a shame.. i tired hard to get rid of this feeling and hoping one day i could let it go…

  30. That last line. thank you for sharing!!!

  31. Dude you are soo good! Thank you for not letting fear get the better of you because now you have inspired me to do the same

  32. joykam says:

    This is exactly what my Guru, His Eminence Tsem Tulku Rinpoche (http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/) teaches and advices us all the time, sometimes manifest a situation for us to even face our fears and overcome them. Most important is our motivation, if our motivation is bigger than the self cherishing I, sometimes that makes it easier to face and overcome the fears.
    Here’s some inspirational words of fear or fearlessness… you might find enlightening http://www.tsemrinpoche.com/tsem-tulku-rinpoche/inspiration-worthy-words/thoughts.html

    Thank you for your posting, it’s quite Dharmic in a sense :) and I’m sure it helps and benefits many.

  33. Wow that was a good piece, your write with such honesty and this takes courage.

  34. belleamiblog says:

    This is so timely for me. Thanks for posting I’m also planning to post a piece on fear.

  35. heavenly1 says:

    I agree, fear will literally stop you in your tracks if you allow it. I’ve decided to lean on my faith to pull me through.

  36. Love your thoughts. Fear can hold us all back for sure

  37. Sumera Malik says:

    You have written exactly whats going on in my head right now and what i wanted to hear ! This post really hit me because its so honest , passionate and true. I LOVED it and i am looking forward to reading all your posts :-) thanks!

  38. Great post. There’s a line in a song, not sure what song, but it goes something like this: so afraid of dying that you forget to live. It could be true for all of us, so we just have to go out and do things while we can.

  39. K T says:

    Very well said! Great post and so true.

  40. Chinita Lily says:

    Thank you for these words! Very inspiring. Let’s go out there and get ’em! No impossible journeys. We start by starting. We never give up and just don’t take ‘No’ for an answer.

  41. blkkat49 says:

    Reading this post, and the comments that followed, proves even more to me, that you are a writers writer.

  42. Keep on writing and dreaming. But don’t feel bad about choosing to physically stay where you are. Sometimes staying close to your roots is a good decision if you can grow and prosper near family and friends.

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