http---40.media.tumblr.com-f2af21c5b17736008b8c0d0aabd9f6dc-tumblr_nhy463XHvn1qja5e1o1_400Women. Some are like air. They fill up the entire space available inside your heart. Chameleonic in nature, they quickly adapt to become your biggest dream… or your worst nightmare. They take everything you give them, without even asking. But the one reason for them loving you will always be the shape you give them: what they become by your side. They need to be shaped more than anyone else, they need to find their identity by loving someone. They’re just that… the air inside a room… the space they occupy. And even though you’d swear that they can’t change you… wait until they’re gone. That’s when you see what the cracks they vanished through are.

Some are like water. These too can take almost any shape imaginable. They’re calm, strong, patient. Imagine a lake. A river cutting through the toughest stone. A stormy sea. They hold more power than they themselves imagine. Did you ever see yourself in the mirror of a woman’s eyes? Did you ever see yourself exactly for what you were? No masks, no fake pretending. That’s water, my friend. And the odd thing is that you never knew how thirsty you were. But one word of warning, if I may. Be careful not to drown.

Some women are made from fire. No, no. They are fire. And you know what they say. Don’t play with fire, because you might get burned. Impulsive by nature, they love like no other. And hate just the same. Passionate, ambitious, strong willed, curious. They don’t wait on you for them to act. In fact, they don’t even need you as much as you’d think. It’s stupid men who believe they can control such women. Or change them to their liking. They do not change. They are who they are, who they were before you met them. Who they were born to be. Fire burns. It burns, burns, burns. It’s love and hate and pain and sweetness. It’s danger. It’s poetry. And just like air, when it’s gone it’s gone.

And some women are made from earth. You know the expression: “down to earth.” Men would say about them that they’re rational beings. And they are. They love with their heads. They make lists. They decide. They rarely whine when it hurts, when the going gets tough. They’re beautiful in a simple way. Maybe men don’t turn their heads after them on the street, but they sure do fall in love with them without even realizing it.


70 thoughts on “Women

    • Well, I actually based my description on four different (very different) women I met last year. And, yes, it’s also kind of based on astrology, so to speak.

      About that line: in my case I ended up spending an awful lot of time just analyzing the cracks. What I did wrong, what I could have done differently. Flaws and qualities and stuff like that. So, truth be told, I had the most to learn from the woman made of air than from anyone else.

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  1. I think most women are probably a mixture of some or all of these. I felt most attracted to the water and earth paragraphs. Beautifully written, but I hope one day you meet someone with the perfect mixture (if that’s what you’re looking for).


  2. There is so much I love about this post!!! For a moment I admit I wasnt fond of your “they need to find their identity by loving someone” line, but taking it deeper than the superficial, I do feel there is some truth to that in the respect we become a part or extension of our partner. Therefore shaping an identity. I truly love this. Thank you.

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  3. Earth is probably my favorite description, because it must be true. We tend to overlook the Earth beneath us while we gaze at the serene water or the majestic fire or feel the cool breeze on our shoulders. But Earth, she will always be our foundation.


  4. This is really misogynist. Women don’t need to discover their identities through loving someone any more than, you know… Humans do in general. They don’t need to be shaped. Just because they are prescribed a gender by nature doesn’t mean that they are automatically somehow yin and receptive, nor do they have to be some kind of sprites… Your female mythology, through prettily put, is strikingly dehumanizing.


      • Oh, but it is misogynistic. So very misogynistic. You didn’t write about ‘lots of people’, you wrote about women, and you addressed your entire piece to heterosexual men (something which happens with depressing frequency throughout all media – look around you). The ‘you’ in your piece never falls victim to categorization. ‘You’ are somehow exempt from that.

        You’ve lumped us (i.e. women, aka humans) into four restrictive categories that only exist in relation to heterosexual men. Maybe lots of people do feel the need to be defined by others, but as we women we are constantly told, in one way or another, that our ONLY value is to be defined by men. You are not writing in a vacuum.


  5. That was so unique, using the four elements to describe women. I know you mentioned in an earlier comment that it’s somewhat related to astrology but it reminded me of my friend’s friend (a fortune teller) who classifies people’s personality according to these elements plus tree. He said I’m a water but after reading your post I kind of want to be fire and earth. Haha.


  6. This is one of the most romantic things I’ve ever read. I didn’t get to watch a man love a woman while I was growing up, and I’m always on the lookout to see how real men view women.

    Reading this makes me want to be a better woman.


  7. I love your analogies to the elements, such a beautifully written post. As a feminist myself, I don’t feel this post is at all misogynistic, I feel people need to read this on a deeper level instead of seeing it as just a man and woman – try ridding the gender and see it as love is what shapes. The gender qualities, I feel are there to make it flow and relatable. But anyway, lovely post!


  8. Christian, we do not take everything without asking. You give things to us, before we have a chance to ask. In addition, I get an impression that you like feeling that you’re changing a woman you are with. In many respects I cannot agree with you. The furthest I can meet you is by the “iron sharpens iron” roadside. If you take someone and change them that indicates that they have no personality to start with, and so you can shape them into what you want, but you only love your reflection in them, not them for who they are. If shaped by you, they will never step on your toe, never irritate you, what kind of a relationship is that? The kind you could have staring at yourself in the mirror.


    • Somehow, we all change each other. It’s what people do, most times without even wanting to. If you sit by yourself in a room, can you tell me that you are smart or funny or whatever? It’s as if you don’t even exist, right? Everything we do, everything we are, is because/for others. Of course, there’s a limit to this. How much can/should you change someone else? Should you even try? How are you even supposed to know if you’re really trying to change someone for the better?

      Tricky questions, almost impossible to answer, and yet we like to play with each other as if we’re made of clay.

      I’d say that this is mostly because it’s a lot easier to focus on someone else’s flaws than your own. Or what you perceive as being flaws. Again, this whole thing is subjective.


      • From experience I can say that if someone enters into a relationship with a certain expectation that the other will change they have already entered a relationship that will fail. One should be with and love someone for who they are. With their flaws. If they choose to change along the way, great, it’s a bonus. But to expect someone to change will cause you to wake up one day disappointed.


        • That I agree. Because, well… you start with one or two things you’d like to change, but… they kind of start getting to you. And as the relationship progresses those are the things that bother you the most.

          You know, they say you love someone in spite of their flaws. I agree. That’s when love becomes more of a decision than just a feeling. But it’s not easy to do so, especially when someone’s flaws are in direct conflict with what you what from live or yourself or from a relationship.

          I believe that we develop certain expectations about how a relationship should be, but most times those same expectations inhibit us from seeing the other person as they truly are. Because of those expectations, we want them to be something they’re not. We want them to do things they don’t like, simply because that’s what we’ve told ourselves, over and over again, we’d be doing with our lovers.

          But there’s also this other thing: you want them to be happy, right? Because that also makes you happy. So it’s easy to pretend to be someone you’re not, to make a lot of compromises early on. And it gets more and more difficult as time passes.

          Tricky thing, relationships… I’ve made it a rule never to compare one relationship to another, never to expect one thing or another, because… well… you’ll never find the same love twice.


          • Yes, relationships are a tricky thing. They are like a living organism, always growing, always changing, speaking differently every time, but yet one thing does not change – that supernatural bond between two people.

            You said that:
            “You know, they say you love someone in spite of their flaws. I agree. That’s when love becomes more of a decision than just a feeling. But it’s not easy to do so, especially when someone’s flaws are in direct conflict with what you what from live or yourself or
            from a relationship.”

            I would argue that if someone’s flaws are in direct conflict with me, I would not date that person or consider any relationship with them. For example, I could meet the most amazing man ever and he would have it all apart from the fact that he wanted to life in Antarctica – I mean, that’s a ‘no’ for me. Another example, perhaps closer to heart. I meet a man, who again is everything, but he is addicted to marijuana, or at least he enjoys smoking it, he sees nothing wrong with it, but it bothers me. How can I be honest before him and myself entering a relationship with him, but at the back of my mind expect him to change? It’s unfair to start with, and should he not change, and he probably wouldn’t I will be the one who is frustrated and eventually put the strain on the relationship that would cause is to break.


  9. I really like this. I just wonder about the use of “the shape you give them” right at the start. Perhaps the “shape you allow them” or the “Space you allow them. I don’t think women need to be given shape. They make their own, if they find the right space within which to do it. For me, it’s all about space.And plenty of it!

    Liked by 1 person

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