Defeats

0707ashc9 455x600“Somewhere in the world there is a defeat for everyone.”John Steinbeck

To paraphrase another American writer, life breaks us all. Whether we want it to or not. And, yes, some are stronger at the broken places. Some are not.

We are defeated simply because there’s a lot more to learn from defeat than from victory. Grief, pain, and anger only serve as lessons.

It’s necessary. For us to evolve, for us to ask ourselves if it’s in our powers to change something.

About ourselves. About the world around us. Or the people in it.

You know the saying that the only true constant in life is change? Well… oftentimes change is painful. We are still terrified by the unknown, by what it represents.

Sometimes you have to abandon who you are and build a new you. Sometimes your past becomes just another story – something that happened to someone else. A long time ago.

What I really want to say is this: do no be afraid of defeats.

You will be. And it’s going to hurt each and every single time. But a part of you should focus on what has to be done, on the future, on what’s going to happen.

I’m not particularly talented or anything. At writing, I mean. Or blogging. Or anything else, actually. I never started something and realized that I was naturally better than those around me. All I have is perseverance.

Which also translates that whenever life defeats me, I get sad or angry or depressed or whatever, but then I get up and get on with whatever it is that I want to do. I act like a cry-baby sometimes, I’ll admit. But deep down I know that I won’t give up, no matter how hard the situation is. Don’t ask me why I do this… I just do.

It’s not pretty, it’s not noble or anything.

I think I never really learned to lose. I don’t like to lose, actually. I don’t like to be told “no.” I don’t give up, I don’t back down, and all the things that I ever let go off have claw marks on them.

Maybe it’s good, maybe it’s not. Who am I to give life advice anyhow?

But the truth is this, life will defeat you. No matter who you are, where you are, or what you do. No matter how cautiously you try to live your life, how much effort you put into pleasing everyone… there’s a defeat waiting just around the corner.

Because the metaphorical “fall” happens even to those who never really aspire to reach the top of the mountains. Keep your feet on the ground at all times, try not to move, and you’ll still fall. Because someone is going to think that you’re standing in their way. And they’ll probably run you over.

That’s another inexorable truth of human existence: life happens. Whether you want to or not. Stuff happens. All those folks around you are making things happen. And they affect you.

That being said, failure is inevitable. I’m sorry, but it is. On the other hand, giving up is optional.

Enough said.

***

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25 comments on “Defeats

  1. swo8 says:

    John Steinbeck was a rather depressing author.
    Leslie

  2. asewalson says:

    I love it!

  3. Great post.

    If failure is inevitable, is victory also inevitable at some stage?

    Just keeping the glass half full :)

  4. I can’t say how many times I have been defeated by life challenges and change, but I can say that I don’t let it get me to the point of not wanting to keep going to my main goal. I made a huge change moving from Maryland to upstate New York with no job permanently lined up, but with faith as my main focus I was hired to work in Vermont. I don’t regret it and up for any challenges that I need to face to get where I want to get too. All in all, life better be ready for my victories over it!

  5. Shelly Tennyson Taylor says:

    Very nice… You wrote “I’m not particularly talented or anything. At writing, I mean. …. All I have is perseverance.”
    Writing can be learned, but perseverance is an inherent trait and what is needed to be a great writer!

  6. Yes!! Don’t give up Cristian! I could feel the fire in this post. This is what you need. Keepgoingkeepgoingkeepgoing… And Stay strong ❤️

  7. Thank you for posting this :) For me, it all comes down to choice…I always have a choice. Neither choice may be appealing for me, but a choice nonetheless.

  8. brayvid says:

    defeat is something i have been facing lately. Glad to see i am not alone

  9. I agree, failure is inevitable but giving up is optional. It is up to us if we will give up or keep going.
    Thanks for the inspiration! :)

  10. Brilliant post Cristian. And cut right through the muck and dirt of my past defeats! Thank you!!

  11. “Giving up is optional.” Did you make that up? Can I commission that for bumper stickers? ;-) Love it!

  12. uju says:

    Life happens to all of us, and whether we will it or not, we will exist in this space.

    Good one Cristian

  13. very true. I wish you all the best for your endeavors. :)

  14. I might argue that inevitable failure sustains us all. Failure creates an opportunity for evaluation and success, It is the nature of man to learn, benefit, and rise above the source of initial failure. Thanks for provoking a contemplation in progress…

  15. The day I can’t reinvent myself after failure is the day I actually give up the ghost.

  16. beachgirl26 says:

    Great post! A big eye opener and I loved it.

  17. Steve Perrin says:

    Defeat is one half of life, winning or success is the other. Not necessarily in the same degree as “half” would seem to imply. The moral of defeats is in their remembrance. We remember every one. Defeats are teachers. They warn us what to avoid in the future. So we work doubly hard to decode their message so we can work around them, ride over the top, or crawl underneath. Trial and error is the method of growing wiser. Sadder, perhaps, but cannier in having been there and done just that, perhaps many times. That mountain of defeat is where the guru sits, giving advice. The meaning of life is in the climbing of that mountain. Cristian, you are writing about what you know because you have experienced it. Ironically, that way leads to success.

  18. tripleclicka says:

    I would love to hear about the actual experiences that taught you these lessons.

  19. ROSES says:

    So am not the only cry baby at times? Loved reading every word.

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