Blessing… in disguise

blessing“It’s so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone.” – John Steinbeck

They say change is the only true constant in our lives. Defined as the process through which something becomes different. Some of us fight it, others choose to focus their energy on adapting to the new circumstances; to make the most out of whatever it is that has changed.

Change is inevitable.

There’s good and bad in our lives. There’s good and bad in the world around us. How we react to all that is entirely up to us.

But what I really what to write about is the so called “blessing in disguise.”

I was raised in an upper middle class family. My father worked in the restaurant business. We never had to worry about food or clothes or, basically, anything. Just about the time I was in high school my father was earning just enough so I could turn into a real spoiled brat.

But then things changed. My father’s business went bankrupt. We struggled for a while. I blamed pretty much all the things imaginable for what was happening. But that’s also when I started to really write. Like really, really write.

I decided that I won’t give up. I started this blog. I self-published short stories and novels. I ran an online magazine for a while.

I did this on my own, something that would have never even crossed my mind hadn’t it been for the difficult situation that my family went through. What happened wasn’t my fault, but what I did because of it (or in spite of it) was my own doing.

I chose to fight against the darkness, because I thought there was no pride or glory in accepting my fate. It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t beautiful. I wasn’t waking up in the morning eager to get work done. It was painful. It was the real deal. The struggle.

It was my fight for survival.

Yes, I know, in this century it seems rather bizarre to talk about survival, but, truth me told, we all have moments when we have to fight for our own survival. Or our sanity. Or just keeping it together long enough for the storm to pass.

Right now… I’m not sure if the storm passed. Things changed… maybe I’m staring at the aftermath of that storm. But what I do know for sure is that I changed. I am a different person, one I would never have decided to become were it otherwise.

That is the real purpose behind anything that happens to us. Things change in order to change us. Or the other way around.

Of course, we also like to believe that we can always decide who we want to be, but most times something has to happen to make us genuinely want to become that kind of person. A kick in the butt, so to speak.

Or a blessing in disguise.


There are only 5 days left in the campaign. So it’s now or never.

If you want to help me pay for my medical bills, you can donate any amount you see fit here. Any contribution matters. It truly does.


  1. I wonder if it is so much that “things change” or, just the natural progression of how things played out. It probably doesn’t matter, the end result is the same. You never know what the next tick on life’s clock has got in store for you, or which tick it is exactly that will challenge you in ways you have never been challenged before. Yes, each tick has the capacity to bring along with it, changes. I wonder, what is the more difficult to handle, those ticks that keep everything the same, or those that do not? Nice writing. Thanks for sharing. And, good luck with your future ticks.


  2. I got such a love/hate with change, for similar reasons. Grew up so damn poor, but living in some soft bubble wouldn’t have given me any petrol in my belly. Even though things are better now, I’m real grateful to those times for knocking me into shape.

    ‘That is the real purpose behind anything that happens to us. Things change in order to change us. Or the other way around.’

    Never a truer word.


  3. Nice job. We all have changes–some may seem more dramatic than others, but I believe they’re all relative, especially for those who fear change. Once I heard the phrase “evolution or revolution” I came to realize life isn’t static. And no matter the way we deal w/the change, it affects us all. Thanks for getting me thinking again about such a fundamental truth that has such huge ramifications on people’s daily lives.


  4. I also grew up in an upper middle class family and was en route to being a really spoiled brat. That all changed when I came to the states. Financial stress actually made me ill, and it is then that I began writing. I’m also a lot more resourceful these days, and a lot more grateful. I can do more with less, and things are improving steadily. I’m truly happy with who I am becoming, even if the process reslly sucked.


  5. I certainly agree that things change which often means we change, but sometimes that change doesn’t sit comfortably. Like the pair of jeans that are either too big or too small: it’s not us.

    We then have to spend a significant amount of time trying to work out who we are again, in order to get to the point that does feel right, or create a new path to get us there.


  6. Good article :) I would however add that it’s important we do not hang up on the thought of wishing things to “go back to normal”. They never will as you are already a changed person :)


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