Three years ago I decided to start this blog and never give up. No matter what. Three years ago I took it upon myself to write books, finish them, and self-publish them on Amazon and other online outlets.
But the story isn’t as simple as that…
The story goes like this. I was born into a family of means. More or less. My parents worked in the restaurant business, and they did their best to spoil me. And I never experienced any financial difficulty until my first year at university. That’s when things changed. My father’s business went bankrupt, and I found myself surviving.
To say that it was frustrating would be an understatement. I isolated myself from the world. I thought the whole situation was unfair. Why did it have to happen to me? I thought it was unjust. And… yet… I didn’t do much about it.The whole situation felt hopeless beyond repair.
I tried self-publishing a novel in January 2011, but after selling four copies in four months I gave up. I had tried blogging, but after 3 posts and absolutely no kind of feedback I gave up on that too.
I spent a couple of months feeling even more depressed and hopeless than before. I was a failure. Everything around me enforced this belief. But then I found myself with my back against the wall. Simple as that. I had reached rock bottom. I had had enough of being afraid to go out of the house because it seemed that everyone was living a happier life than I. I was sick and tired of feeling worthless, feeling as if I had no purpose, no future, no hope.
And I took this simple decision: I’m going to write. I am going to blog. I am never, ever going to give up.
So I wrote. And I blogged. And, truth me told, even though this anger provided me with the juice I needed in order to write more than I ever did before, it also stopped me from enjoying all this.
Ultimately, blogging and writing started feeling like another stressful job. I became complacent with this idea, I took everything I had built for granted. Then… I began to think of myself as being unworthy. After all, I didn’t love what I do. Or, at least, that was what I thought about it.
But then a shift in the perspective came to me. I asked myself what was it that I wanted to do more than anything else in the world, and oddly enough, the answer came pretty easily. I want to inspire people. I want to offer them the chance to realize that their dreams can be achieved, that human potential is infinite.
We get what we want as long as we believe we deserve it.
That is is.
The equation for life.