People always leave

tumblr_static_a47ee9r7er4s8w8s4oc88w400The truth of the matter is that people always leave. Whether we want it or not. Whether they want it or not. Something happens and they are lost to us forever.

And then what remains is their memory. The image we have created inside our heads. A grey skin covers what we felt for them and can no longer feel.

To paraphrase John Green, you can never love someone as much as you can miss them. It is true. And there’s nothing more unbearable than the realization that you can hope all you want for someone to come back and they will never come back, because they never really existed.

Such an odd things happens: people tell us who they are, yet we pretend we don’t see it because we want them to be who we want them to be.

But don’t worry, because time heals everything. Whether you want it or not. The longest distance between people is time, for it blurs that picture we have. It fades everything away.

But something always remains. The Portuguese call it “saudade.” The love that remains. Nostalgia. The love that no amount of poison can ever kill. The love that eventually alters itself to become what is left when nothing can be done anymore. The bitter sweet feeling that engulfs memories.

And we carry people around like this. Inside our heads. And we go on with our lives. Whether we want it or not.

And, in a way, they never leave. But they never return to us either.


27 thoughts on “People always leave

  1. I don’t know if people always leave unless this speaks to our mortality and hence the eventual demise of all relations. I find there is a deeper problem that lurks in your precious note which concerns what it means to say that someone is known to us. For me the fundamental issue is identity which begins first with knowing oneself through our engagement with others in the world.

  2. “… time heals everything. Whether you want it or not.” I feel like moving on after losing someone is the scariest part, when you can think about them without being overcome with emotion or crying. I guess it’s because by that time, you have truly lost them, not just physically but also because that emotional attachment has become severed as well. You will always miss them but that desperate need to be in their presence is gone.

  3. Wow. I’m stunned. Thank you for saying exactly what I have just been feeling inside my head but couldn’t get the words out as eloquently as you have.

    I wrote a letter today and posted it on my blog, but you sir have hit the nail on the head. Amazing writing. :)

  4. Of course I had to read this text now. I’m experiencing first hand the feelings you wrote about in this article. And that “saudade” hurts like hell. Oh, well, hope that time will start doing it’s damned job faster.

  5. People leave. Yes, they do. What’s good at the end is to discover the realisation of how much their presence is missed. It helps one discover the deep marks people leave on us.

  6. Saudade is one of my favorite words. For about a year I struggled to describe this feeling I was having, a disconnect between what I had lost and where I wanted to be. It is that restless feeling we get when we are lost in memories of what could have been and dreams of what we hope will be. All the while we forget to enjoy what we have right now. Well said.

  7. Beautiful. Some of us tend to write a more epic story of our lives and loves than what truly transpired I’m sure. Is that being a romantic or being dramatic? Or tortured as both? ; )

  8. People leave, of course. As did my Aged Mother, and my Father before that. I even lost a Sweet little Cousin of about 2 years. And Children will leave when they get married.

    If We leave all that, I, as a Catholic Priest, a Diocesan one at that, (for my sins!), I can understand and say that People leave. My Best Friend is nearly 1500 Kms away, if not more. But the horrible part is that he would not even answer my calls now. Such is a Priest’s life.

    But I wonder, I really do, and I say this very sincerely, How can somebody who IS married, or who CAN marry say these things? Don’t Spouses remain there for Us? Is that not one of the Greatest Advantages of Marriage?

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