“To love”

Falling in love is easy. Too easy sometimes. We fall in love with someone who’s a little bit different than all the others we have met before, we fall in love when someone tells us something new about ourselves, we fall in love with the way someone acts or talks, we fall in love with people who have traits that are similar or exactly the opposite of ours.

There are just about a million different reasons why we fall in love.

But to love… that’s different.

Because we love someone in spite of their flaws. We love someone because they treat us exactly how we’ve always wished to be treated. We love someone because they’re exactly what we need.

And, yes, you need to learn to love. You need to learn how to act just right, how to do what needs to be done. Actions, not words. Sacrifice, compromise. Good days and bad days. Arguments. The constant temptation of finding someone new.

How do you learn to genuinely love another?

Getting your heart broken is a good way to start. To love someone and to see it in their eyes that they love another… to fall in love with the wrong people at the wrong time, to give the best of you to those who never really appreciated it. Tears. Loneliness. Anger.

You learn to love. You learn to love someone just for loving you back. Just for treating you right.

Because… you need to meet a lot of wrong ones before you can truly appreciate when the right one comes into your life… and then hold tight to them like a motherfucker.

In the end, we’re all capable of loving another human being. What matters most is the way we show that love, the way it makes us feel. The things that we do for love.

I’ve fallen in and out of love for quite a few times by now. I’ve gotten my heart broken a few times. I’ve felt unrequited love, that bitter-sweet excitement that runs up and down your veins when you fall in love with the wrong person. But you just can’t help yourself. I’ve hurt people. I did wrong. I acted foolishly and recklessly. I made mistakes. Lots and lots of them.

We never stop learning how to love. As long as we’re willing to learn from our mistakes, as long as we try our very best to make that special someone in our lives feel truly special…

What did you learn about love so far?


35 thoughts on ““To love”

  1. English is very limited in words. We use the word love for so many different thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
    To me there are two basic kinds of love …. selfish and unselfish…. Selfish love is all about me … unselfish love is about the person you choose to love.
    Unselfish love is commitment to action.
    Unselfish love means that you are willing to do everything in your power to help and uphold a person …. Forever.
    41 years ago I made a commitment to love my wife unselfishly …. Forever.
    We have a wonderful partnership …. We now have children and grandchildren ….. I have made that same commitment to them.
    It has been a wonderful ride …. I expect it to continue …. Forever.

  2. “The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them” ― Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island

    This quote sums up so perfectly what I have learned and have come to value about love. <3 Happy valentines!

  3. I’d learn about love real young. My first love was my fault of it not working out with learning about the relationship of love with someone. Since I was to young to know about sex and even to young to have sexual desires at the time.
    I felt the feeling of being in love with someone, the first time of age 5 and been friends with her for 3 years, the longest that I had a girlfriend before.
    She found out that I wrote “Fat Bitch” on someone Valentine’s card, I think, and say “we need to stop being friends.” That heart break was the worst one that I had.
    I also had few girlfriends after that one, one hurt me and the others, I think it was one-sided.

  4. Now I don’t know much about it, but it sounds pretty selfless. Selfless in the sense that you are willing to do anything to make that person happy, no matter how much they can piss you off sometimes or disappoint, but because you know and appreciate their flaws and they feel the same.
    Love is also a risk of ultimate happiness, a jump off the cliff not entirely knowing if there’s going to be enough water there to break your fall (or your ass, because physics).

  5. I’ve learned, when you love and are loved back, you are who you are supposed to be. You don’t have to be anyone else. I’ve learned love is not always easy to find, it is easy to be in love and relationships are hard. I’ve learned love is meant for the strong and not the weak. I’ve learned love cannot be real until bad shit happens; when shit is good, love seems to work.

  6. I guess we never stop learning to love, like we never stop learning about ourselves. I think that loving someone unconditionally is empowering and yet weakening because that is when it is most likely for you to get hurt.

  7. Loving someone is our option but making them love us ?? What about that .. sometimes with time the other person may turn his back towards you no matter whatever you do to make him stay .. 🙂

  8. Love is a beautiful and an overwhelming emotion. What I’ve learned is that not every love is the same love. You always love someone for their unique reason

  9. I absolutely agree with this. I had been to a lot of relationships; however the person that I’m with in this moment of time… He is different from any other people that I loved. The vast happiness he can give me in this world full of sadness is so priceless and he always want me to be happy. He ensures that by showing his love for me and now I could say that he is the one, for he made all the loves in my past irrelevant.

  10. I have seen so many ups and so many downs but we both stood together becoming the power of each other!! And hence we are together and still love each other so much!!!
    Awesome post and I believe it!!!

  11. Love is an exchange of light.

    It starts when someone is able to illuminate something inside that you hadn’t known about.

    ~The Instigator/Igniter~

    This magnificent spark has power to set a flame in in motion allowing you to kindle a fire and return the gesture.

    The flame is passed back and forth.

    In loving we learn about ourselves and the one we love through this exchange of fire.

    Inevitably along way there are extinguishers.

    With the continual exchange of light, the flame of love is able to survive.


  12. Love cannot change anybody. I have learnt that love is about two people getting together and making it work, improvising as they go along. I met a wonderful man recently and he has been wonderful even before I came along, and after being with him I am still me and when we are together we are just better

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