On defeats

0707ashc9 455x600“Somewhere in the world there is a defeat for everyone.”John Steinbeck

To paraphrase another American writer, life breaks us all. Whether we want it to or not. And, yes, some are stronger at the broken places. Some are not.

We are defeated simply because there’s a lot more to learn from defeat than from victory. Grief, pain, and anger only serve as lessons.

It’s necessary. For us to evolve, for us to ask ourselves if it’s in our powers to change something.

About ourselves. About the world around us. Or the people in it.

You know the saying that the only true constant in life is change? Well… oftentimes change is painful. We are still terrified by the unknown, by what it represents.

Sometimes you have to abandon who you are and build a new you. Sometimes your past becomes just another story – something that happened to someone else. A long time ago.

What I really want to say is this: do no be afraid of defeats.

You will be. And it’s going to hurt each and every single time. But a part of you should focus on what has to be done, on the future, on what’s going to happen.

I’m not particularly talented or anything. At writing, I mean. Or blogging. Or anything else, actually. I never started something and realized that I was naturally better than those around me. All I have is perseverance.

Which also translates that whenever life defeats me, I get sad or angry or depressed or whatever, but then I get up and get on with whatever it is that I want to do. I act like a cry-baby sometimes, I’ll admit. But deep down I know that I won’t give up, no matter how hard the situation is. Don’t ask me why I do this… I just do.

It’s not pretty, it’s not noble or anything.

I think I never really learned to lose. I don’t like to lose, actually. I don’t like to be told “no.” I don’t give up, I don’t back down, and all the things that I ever let go off have claw marks on them.

Maybe it’s good, maybe it’s not. Who am I to give life advice anyhow?

But the truth is this, life will defeat you. No matter who you are, where you are, or what you do. No matter how cautiously you try to live your life, how much effort you put into pleasing everyone… there’s a defeat waiting just around the corner.

Because the metaphorical “fall” happens even to those who never really aspire to reach the top of the mountains. Keep your feet on the ground at all times, try not to move, and you’ll still fall. Because someone is going to think that you’re standing in their way. And they’ll probably run you over.

That’s another inexorable truth of human existence: life happens. Whether you want to or not. Stuff happens. All those folks around you are making things happen. And they affect you.

That being said, failure is inevitable. I’m sorry, but it is. On the other hand, giving up is optional.

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15 comments on “On defeats

  1. Ohmz says:

    The choice will always be there, it is the fact of life or be stagnant all throughout.

  2. aloathersguide says:

    I don’t know if I agree with this one. We all get down but you aren’t defeated unless you stay there. https://youtu.be/vYARSO3KpBs

  3. dhaffnersr says:

    Yes failure is inevitable, it’s also the precepts that we choose to dwell on, whether they are from our past or a perceived future. Life is a complete horror, but also it has such subtle and apparent beauty, that is the gratitude and grace of opening my eyes in the morning, I have choices to make upon that day and every day.
    Myself, I always center myself and remember that I alone have the power to chose how I am going to feel that day and my spirit will always act accordingly.
    🙂

  4. Morpheus Zzz says:

    There are some real gems in here, Cristian. I love this: “I don’t give up, I don’t back down, and all the things that I ever let go off have claw marks on them.”

  5. Words weave the magic that no other form of communication has the capability to form, maybe as I have a biased approach towards the words and acting as an advocate as the intensity is truly strong. The wordsmiths can transport you into a world filled with fantasy, love, affection, death, pain… though all of these are mere words, and abstract concepts but once they are painted in our minds, they transform into beautiful pictures.

    https://wingsofwhims.wordpress.com/2017/05/08/the-collateral-beauty/

  6. musingono51 says:

    So many of my students are afraid to try, because they are afraid of failing. I have been trying to teach them all year that if they want to succeed, they have to risk failing first.

    • We often think of success and failure as separate. They’re not. You have to fail over and over again in order to be successful. After all, success is the breaking point, the moment you emerge victorious. And you can’t do that unless you’ve failed a few times before.

  7. There’s an old adage that goes, “The measure of a Human being, isn’t how quickly he or she can be knocked down. It’s instead how long they choose to stay down”.

    I had three huge failures in my life, and If I’d bothered to have listened to those around me, I’d still be down there. They kept telling me, “You aren’t good enough,” or “you aren’t smart enough”, or worse yet, “You’re a dumb ass. you’ll never amount to a hill of anything”.

    I told them all to go straight to Hell, dusted myself off, and set about making things right. I remember talking to my parish priest about it, and he told me something interesting. Many a battle has been won simply because the guy fighting it was to stubborn to give up.

    So, I keep fighting, or I’ll die trying.

    Either way, it’s better than uttering those two most horrible words in the English language, “What if . . .”

  8. yuhublogger says:

    A nice perspective!

  9. musicgirl19 says:

    Inspirational. Very well written! 💜

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