I often say that one man’s ceiling is another man’s floor. It’s not just something that sounds smart, but it’s also not that life changing, paradigm shifting one liner. It’s just one way to describe reality. As perception influenced. As relativistic in nature.
That’s enough philosophy for today.
Do you know how hell looks like?
You know, you might have this idea of lakes of fire and red devils running around with forks and other instruments of torture. Souls, somehow depicted as naked bodies, screaming and stuff. Yup. That’s not hell. No way. There’s no instrument to inflict as much pain on a person as solitude does.
That is hell.
An empty room.
Or Will Smith in I am Legend, after he has to kill his dog.
A huge city, with no one but yourself for company.
You and your thoughts. You and all that you have done. You and all that can no longer be. Carry that with you, nothing else to take your mind off those things, and I assure you that a lake of fire would seem like a Weekend Spa Retreat.
Hell is something we carry with us.
And we all create our own hell, here, on this earth, as we live and love and make mistakes and hurt ourselves and those around us. We build our hell with bricks called expectations… the tiles on the floors are called heartbreaks…small heartbreaks, daily heartbreaks, all those insignificant sacrifices that no one seems to notice, let alone appreciate.
To me, hell is this: spending an entire day struggling to eat. Struggling to sleep. Spending an entire day being afraid. Spending an entire day feeling sad. Walking around people, feeling not quite like them. Feeling less than they are. Hell is also asking for help and not receiving it.
Hell is to do your hardest to raise money for a serious health issue and not getting any help. Not being heard. As if I am invisible.
Do people wait for me to die?
I do wonder…
Would they like a post written about my death?
Has the world become so cynical.
I need your help to fix a serious medical condition. This is the hell I have to carry with me. It is not easy to ask for help, but there’s no other way. I would prefer it, if there was.
So, if you’d like to help me out, you can donate any amount you see fit here.
$685 left to raise.