Why a heartbreak is the best thing that can happen to (for) you

Business gurus will tell you that failure is an integral part of success. Just so you remember you are mortal. You are not invincible. You will fail, you will have to try over and over again.

The same principle applies to love. You need to get your heart broken.


Because it’s the only way one can grow.

Let me explain.

Boy meets girl. Boy hopelessly falls in love. Girl soon feels the same about him. They spend a while together, and then one of them decides it’s no longer worth it, and they leave.

The outcome is the same: pain, bitterness, regret…

What is wrong with you?

How could they do such a thing?



And so on and so forth… with a bit of tears (or more of them) and a lot of questions.

Some folks choose to never find out the answers to those questions, while others decide other people are stupid and can’t appreciate a good thing when they see it.

But a few will learn from this. A few will strive to understand things.

Yes, it is a very painful process.

Depression and anxiety kicks in.

You stop taking care of yourself, for what is the purpose?

You pretend you’re okay on the outside, but you’re slowly dying on the inside.

But you learn… you do.

You kind of understand, after a while, that happiness and self worth are not for sale. That you cannot be truly yourself if you have to look in the hearts and minds of others for validation.

You understand that it is important to be the best version that you can be.

You now know never to become complacent, never to settle.

To do more. To aspire for more.

Because you’ll be dead soon enough anyway.

Because when hearts break, death seems like a mild nuissance.

It is life that is truly terrifying. Complex beyond belief.

If it was simple before your heart shattered into a million pieces, now you’ve got to grab all those pieces and somehow glue them back together.

Some of you might argue that a broken heart is no longer as strong.

I beg to differ.

Hearts break only once. The rest are just scratches.


49 thoughts on “Why a heartbreak is the best thing that can happen to (for) you

  1. Not sure if I completely agree with the scratches.. what would it be the one that caused you heartbreak on the journey of life? Are there any heartbreaks in the end!? (Good story!)

  2. Hearts don’t break only once! Each time you fall in love with a different person and that love has to end mysteriously, one’s heart is broken. A broken heart is no longer strong until it chooses to put itself together, once again. The only thing I am sure of is that it takes time for some people to cope up and love again. Your article is indeed provoking one to give their own experiences on how they managed to clear the scratches of their heart.

  3. There is another angle to this boy meets girl scenario and why it doesn’t work. Each puts on their best face to make the other “fall in love with them”, to think they are fun and interesting to be around. After a period of time when impressing each other is no longer needed they relax and their true nature comes out. One may say to the other, “You’ve changed.” But they haven’t. They are just showing their true colors. If the face they put on is to hard to keep up they will end up breaking up – but it doesn’t mean it hurts any less and yes, they need to grow and acquire a little wisdom or they will keep attracting the same kind of person into their life again.


    You see, Christian, you ARE absolutely correct in assuming that MOST people walk out of a relationship broken and subdued. There really is not much left in their lives to keep going on for. Or at least that’s what they LIKE to believe. Either way, it’s the funeral of some of the best years of their lives. And people need such a reminder as yours every once in a while to keep them sane.



  5. There is a lot to say about the breaking of a heart, there is no doubt that is a great opportunity to grow up and like a chrysalis leaves the cocoon, no longer an ugly, crawling slug, but transformed into a beautiful butterfly that flies!
    Of course that depends on our attitude, we can remain bitter, and blame the other, remaining isolated, and trap in the cocoon, of self despair, or be transformed beautifully, and earn our wings.
    In certain cultures this is even a sign of a Spiritual breakthrough, a turning of the Heart towards a higher Self.
    I like to say and you can quote me on this one:

    ‘Most of the times we need our hearts to be broken so we can discover the hidden secrets of the Heart.’

    Like in Ezekiel 36:26: ‘A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh.’ :-)

  6. I loved this line, “You kind of understand, after a while, that happiness and self worth are not for sale. That you cannot be truly yourself if you have to look in the hearts and minds of others for validation.”

    This is what I learned and still am learning about myself today.

  7. This made me think of my first heartbreak. I was so hurt. I switched my whole wardrobe to black -opposing my usually rather colorful choice. And the first day back at school noone even noticed my pain, as I had completely forgotten about the spirit week, which started with an “All in Black”-day. I fit right in. :P Afterall, I grew very from this experience and became stronger. Also, I learned what it was what I was truly looking for in a relationship. I feel, that your article truly captures this aspect of growth after a breakup, rather than portraying it as a period of never-ending pain. Thank you for your new angle.

  8. Good one… I am one of the lucky persons who had no such heart breaks 🙂 . I am with a right partner. You may feel it funny , but our parents choose us each other. We both had the option to reject but we fell in love with each other. Now we are happily married for 4 years.

  9. Why to glue a broken heart?
    We both with a broken heart, but it will be closed by the “adult” age, with hypocrisy and false idols (needs of money, objects, friendships…).
    A broken heart is an open heart, ready to accept everythings, everyone’s and ready to accept his solitude that can be transformed in multitude.
    I was a broken heart, and I never remember a moment before or later in which I was having more feeling of myself.
    It’s hard I know but at the same time is the only thing make you feeling alive, when you enter in the routine you will even forget of your 💓.

  10. “That you cannot be truly yourself if you have to look in the hearts and minds of others for validation.” Wow, that’s definitely true, and really well said. Awesome post Cristian. I can see you’ve helped quite a few people by sharing this piece of advice. Thanks

  11. So true! I’ve found after I had my heart broken that I’ll never be able to relive that moment when it happened again. True, I might get heart broken again. But it’ll never hurt quite as strongly as the first time because I’ll already know what it’s like.

  12. Clearly, you have a way with words. You are in touch with your emotions and have the ability to put feelings into words we can understand. Your article is about something very personal but in sharing your thoughts and how you see this shattering experience, you let us know that we’re not alone. Discussion is always good when it brings people who are suffering out of their shell. Excellent article.

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