They say the only ones who are awake late at night are the lonely and the loved. The former find it hard to fall asleep when all they have to do is dream with open eyes about their beloved. It’s almost a compulsion.
But what about the lonely? All the artists, the dreamers; the ones who hold tight to a reality they don’t understand and want explained?
The lonely spend their two AMs in a far different way. The nights are dark and cold, no matter the season. The lonely want to change the entire world, just so they can find a cure for their pain. They do so armed with nothing but hope…
Some time ago you met a woman who spent her two AMs rather differently. She’d look out the window, staring out at the dark and endless void of the night wrapping itself around the city. She’d simply watch. No thoughts, no memories, no emotions. Or that’s what you always thought about it anyway.
She inspired you to write like no one before her, for there is nothing more beautiful in this sad world than those few moments that awaken in us a sense of urgency so strong that we must create something.
You often asked yourself if she was more than what she appeared to be. If there was more to her that what you could see…
She once closed her eyes and recited: “I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead. I think I made you up inside my head.”
Her favorite verses.
Then she opened her eyes and it was as if all you could see inside her eyes was you. A different you; a self that you had always missed, even though you never even met before.
To be honest now, in a way it was you who imagined her into existence. You’d close your eyes late at night, when you felt so lonely; like missing someone you never even met. Such a stupid feeling. You needed her, you wanted her, you dreamed about her long before you got to meet her.
She was everything you never knew you needed.
Truth be told, this story isn’t so much about her as it is about who you used to be when you were with her. Because we are selfish creatures. The beloved is solely an object of worship we use in order to become someone else; someone we’d never even dare be were it not for the effort and time we put into loving someone else.