About defeats

0707ashc9 455x600

“Somewhere in the world there is a defeat for everyone.”John Steinbeck

To paraphrase another American writer, life breaks us all. Whether we want it or not. And, yes, some are stronger at the broken places. Some are not.

We are defeated simply because there’s a lot more to learn from defeat than from victory. Grief, pain, and anger only serve as lessons.

It’s necessary. For us to evolve, for us to ask ourselves if it’s in our powers to change something.

About ourselves. About the world around us. Or the people in it.

You know the saying that the only true constant in life is change? Well… oftentimes change is painful. We are still terrified by the unknown, by what it represents.

Sometimes you have to abandon who you are and build a new you. Sometimes your past becomes just another story – something that happened to someone else. A long time ago.

What I really want to say is this: do no be afraid of defeats.

You will be. And it’s going to hurt each and every single time. But a part of you should focus on what has to be done, on the future, on what’s going to happen.

I’m not particularly talented or anything. At writing, I mean. Or blogging. Or anything else, actually. I never started something and realized that I was naturally better than those around me. All I have is perseverance.

Which also translates that whenever life defeats me, I get sad or angry or depressed or whatever, but then I get up and get on with whatever it is that I want to do. I act like a cry-baby sometimes, I’ll admit. But deep down I know that I won’t give up, no matter how hard the situation is. Don’t ask me why I do this… I just do.

It’s not pretty, it’s not noble or anything.

I think I never really learned to lose. I don’t like to lose, actually. I don’t like to be told “no.” I don’t give up, I don’t back down, and all the things that I ever let go off have claw marks on them.

Maybe it’s good, maybe it’s not. Who am I to give life advice anyhow?

But the truth is this, life will defeat you. No matter who you are, where you are, or what you do. No matter how cautiously you try to live your life, how much effort you put into pleasing everyone… there’s a defeat waiting just around the corner.

Because the metaphorical “fall” happens even to those who never really aspire to reach the top of the mountain. Keep your feet on the ground at all times, try not to move, and you’ll still fall. Because someone is going to think that you’re standing in their way. And they’ll probably run you over.

That’s another inexorable truth of human existence: life happens. Whether you want to or not. Stuff happens. All those folks around you are making things happen. And they affect you.

That being said, failure is inevitable. I’m sorry, but it is. On the other hand, giving up is optional.


7 thoughts on “About defeats

  1. Great post! As kid I was always told “if you don’t succeed first time round, then try again”. It’s all about how we react to the knockbacks that we face. Not letting a “you can’t do that” define your life, because if you don’t go after it, someone else will take it. I’m particularly thinking about this in the context of jobs and pursuing what you love/what you’re good at.

      • Yes, it does depend on the context. Perseverance in the context of relationships would be classed as stalking! But we can still persevere when people let us down – in some cases we just need the strength to do it without them in our lives.
        I think it’s important to apply a perseverance mindset to our goals and work ethic – that is where it can make a positive difference.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s