Other side of fear

fear

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”Jack Canfield

Let me tell you about fear. It’s poison. It’s poison for your mind. It makes you lose control, it makes you freeze, it makes you take the wrong decision. When you let fear take over, you’re just an echo of your former self. An empty shadow and nothing more.

But we’re all afraid, aren’t we? There’s no such thing as fearless. Even the brave are afraid. In fact, one cannot be brave unless one if afraid…

So… what is there to be had on the other side of fear?

The awful truth about life is that what doesn’t kill often makes you wish it did. There’s great sadness and pain in this world, and we all get our fair share. But, you see, eventually all those things that don’t kill us either make us stronger or weaker. After a while, when the pain becomes but a memory, we have a choice.

We can either decide to become stronger or weaker. We can harden ourselves up or not. The choice is always ours.

But we’re afraid… even when the pain goes away, we’re afraid it might return. Even after heartbreaks heal, we’re afraid someone else will break our hearts again. We might never want to fall in love again. We might want to spend a lifetime behind closed doors, just to be sure, without realizing that loneliness will also break our hearts.

That’s why we need to fight fear, we need to see what is it that we can find on the other side of fear.

All our dreams and expectations. All our ambitions. All the power and the courage and the determination and the discipline we could ever need. All that lies just on the other side of fear.

I’ve always wanted to go to the United States and forge a better future there. Ever since I was six, actually. I never even traveled there, mostly because I was afraid of the visa requirements. Or the fact that I’d fail. I just wanted to fight a sure battle, but no one could ever guarantee me that. No one ever will.

And I’ve filled the ocean that lies between Romania and the US with excuses, endless scenarios, and fear. I’ve thought about it, over and over again, and decided that it would be best to wait. Living in a foreign country, all by myself, seemed like too much. Just the thought that I’d need to go through a lot of trouble just to arrive at my destination seemed impossible.

I’ve never even been on a plane.

But…

There’s one thing about me that I never lost, one thing that I didn’t learn or mimic from others. I want things so badly that I’d be willing to do anything to get them. When I decide that it’s time to do so, I don’t let anything stand in my way.

I did the same for writing. I wrote on and off for 8 years before finally deciding that I’d better man up and write more and more stuff. And finish stuff. And get stuff published.

There are no impossible journeys in life. Only journeys we’re too afraid to even start.

I used to think that I couldn’t function properly without smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. Stress and all that. I’d say that I couldn’t even write without cigarettes. But it’s been two months since I quit.

Now I know that life’s all about being afraid and doing it anyways. In fact, fear should motivate me. It should drive me to act, to try my best, to try to solve problems.

I don’t want to spend a lifetime dreaming about an ideal future. I don’t want to wish for it to happen. I want to make it happen. Because no one else will do it for me.

And that makes all the difference.

The world is never against you. The world does not hate you.

You’re just alone. You and your dreams. And it’s entirely up to you to make them happen, one at a time, before it’s too late.

Because the most tragic thing that could ever happen to you is to realize that it’s too late.

“You have two choices, to conquer your fear or to let your fear conquer you.” – Roy Bennett

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16 thoughts on “Other side of fear

  1. Wow! This is an amazing post with an amazing message. Strangely enough, this is exactly what I needed to hear at the right time. After publishing my first novel last year, doubt has been stalking me. I tried marketing it on zero budget and have failed miserably. It had made me doubt, but I see that I need to work harder and not care if I fail. Thomas Edison was once asked about his repeated failure to create the light bulb. His resopnse was, ‘I didn’t fail, I found 1,000 ways how not to do it.’
    Thanks for this post. It has encouraged me to press on.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wonderful, uplifting post that I think we all could learn from. Yes, fear is an obstacle we must overcome. The wall of fear of rejection caused me to not submit any of my written work to anyone for the past two years until this past fall. I made the leap, tore down the wall, and shakily submitted my two plays to the local theater director and a few short stories to online literary magazines. My plays were well received, and one of my short stories was a finalist in the online literary magazine’s writing contest. Yes, my other two stories didn’t get picked up, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is I took the plunge and overcame my fear.

    Bravo for your efforts to stop smoking. I haven’t smoked before, but I’ve read and been told it’s so, so very difficult. Kudos to you! I hope you make it to the US one of these days. :)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This post was an eye opener for me and my perspective on fear. Indeed fear does play a very big role in who we become or even what we achieve in life.
    I’m really glad you decided to stop smoking and have stood by your decision for two months now. That’s a very commendable achievement, So thumbs up to you

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Good post, and thanks for it.
    I’ve always looked at the horizon and pushed for it. Too many people are afraid today, and let’s be honest, there’s a lot to be afraid of out there. But life is not a spectator sport. My Son in Laws Sister is a good example of someone who refuses to treat life that way.
    She hitch hikes all over the world, been through all kinds of adventures, climbed mountains, speaks several langueages

    Liked by 1 person

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