Die Trying

“When you grow up you tend to get told the world is the way it is and your life is just to live your life inside the world. Try not to bash into the walls too much. Try to have a nice family, have fun, save a little money.

That’s a very limited life.

Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact: Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you and you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use.

Once you learn that, you’ll never be the same again.”Steve Jobs

A long, long time ago I used to dream about becoming a writer. Started this blog, managed to make it become quite popular. My words meant something to people. And… somewhere along the way I kind of got sidetracked.

My mother once told me that she didn’t know if I’d ever be successful with my fiction, but that I could do pretty well by blogging. Earn a nice income. Something like that. I kind of believed her, even though before even starting this blog, I would have fought for my right to die doing the thing I loved doing most.

Four years later, and I’m not sure many of you know I write. Novels, short stories. Actual books. This is what I do, that’s my passion, and it’s something I keep postponing and giving up on, time and time again.

Live free or die trying sounds a bit extreme, but it’s the only way to live a life you’re proud of. To be able at any moment to keep your head high, look yourself in the mirror, and say that you are someone you’ve always wanted to be and how good it feels to achieve such a feat.

I am not proud of who I am. I am proud of what I am doing with irevuo right now, working like crazy, putting out as much content as possible, and not asking for a dime. Not selling any kind of advertising, not doing sponsored posts.

The ads on the website earned me something like $20 in five months. But I love doing this, I love writing about art, showcasing artists, and I do want to expand and make it a great website.

But this blog? The source of all my income? I’m not so proud.

All of you know that I earn my living by selling advertising options. Yet, even though I am $300 short of affording medical treatment I badly need, I won’t be offering them any longer.

You have exactly two days to purchase anything, if you’d like to use in the future, from reblogs to paid reviews, etc, and after that, it’s no longer an option. You can do so here.

If you want to reach more people, to grow your blog, work. The same way I did for the past six years.

I don’t want to waste my life trying to convince people to buy something that I am not proud of, wasting time and energy and precious space on this blog with stuff that doesn’t sell enough to afford me a good night sleep.

I’d rather starve to death and make into the famous Club 27 than write another freaking post that I absolutely do not love writing.

I’d rather die trying to have some fun while I am still alive, than live an empty life and see myself labeled as a money crazed son of a bitch while earning $500 a month and barely making ends meet. Nah, this is my blog, and my life, and I choose to do what I want with both.

Life’s too short to be anything but proud of the person you are, of the person you’re becoming, of the person you want to become.

It’s been years since I took a risk, since I had faith in my own abilities, all the while never grasping the simple fact that it’s all risky.

Why die doing something you hate?

Why be so hopelessly enslaved by doing stuff you loathe instead?

Live free or die trying.

That is all, folks.


5 thoughts on “Die Trying

  1. My Son In Law’s sister is a bit of globe trotter, and as a result, a disappointment to the family. She’s 35 and has yet to make her first $100,000 much less million. But she can tell you stories about trekking through Nepal a shivering in a tent, going through the jungles of Thailand and encountering cobras, hiking across Siberia and the Outback, running from the Taliban and being rescued by Army Rangers, encountering pirates and thankful she escaped with her life and virtue intact. She speaks dozens of languages and is at home in a tent or a palace.
    I told my Son In Law to take it easy on her. When she hits the Old age Home she’s going to be the most interesting person there.
    Our lives should tell a story.
    Reckon the question becomes, will our lives be worth the telling?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s