Every year, around the first of January, I make a plan. I set myself specific goals for that year, and I do my very best to achieve them. And I spend each day with the uneasy feeling that I have to arrive at my destination.
I spend each and every day staring at a higher place than we’re I’m at right now. I dream about that place, I imagine it, and I try to reach it. And each day feels like a battle. Because it is. Each day either brings me closer or farther away from reaching my mountain top.
But sometimes I get lost in the labyrinth that is life, I get lost in routines and petty frustrations. It’s easy to feel that there’s no need to push for more. It’s easy to feel like you have enough. Enough to go by. The fire slowly burns out. I become complacent with people and things, and I feel like I have everything figured out.
And, yes, you can easily get lost in plans and dreams too. You can spend your entire life living in a dream world, in a world where you’ll have everything you want. When you’re too afraid to act, to make those dreams come true.
When those days happen, I just want to get to the place I had imagined at the start of the year. I want to get there instantly. I don’t want to spend much time on the road, I don’t want to stare at endless fields of nothing. Of course, I end up doing nothing. I end up filling my day with meaningless conversations with people I never really cared about.
Wishing, without the intent of acting, should be banned. “I wish I’d spend more time writing.”
They say it’s the little things that matter. All the little moments that make up our day to day lives. We never seem to appreciate them, nor do we seem to acknowledge the long and impossible road behind us. We rarely stare in the rear view mirror to see what we’ve accomplished so far.
We rarely enjoy the ride. We want to get to the destination as fast as possible. We don’t want any dead ends, we don’t want hours and hours of endless nothing.
But the thing is, life’s just a matter of perspective. We become who we think we are, and we see what we choose to see.
Spend too much time in the future, admiring a version of you that feels impossible to build, and it’s just as painful and mind-numbing as wallowing yourself in the past.
But it really is so difficult to live in the present, to see each day as meaningful, when our lives feel so uneventful, so boring. Our day to day lives are comprised of routines. We alone can change that.