Transformation Ain’t Pretty

We often forget that changing ones life does not happen during a four minute montage. Yes, we could make a four minute montage of how we got into fitness and lost a lot of weight and ended up being shredded.

No, this is not how things go in life.

“Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor” Alexis Carrel

Change is a painful and slow process. You have to struggle against a million voices in your head telling you that you shouldn’t do this or that.

The act of bettering oneself is not to be taken lightly.

You need a lot of guts to start, and even more to keep going when everything seems to be falling apart.

I remember when I weighted a grand total of 55 kilograms. That’s 121 pounds. I wanted to change. To look at least decent enough, so people wouldn’t think I just got rescued from a tropical island where I spent the last three years with a ball by the name of Wilson.

Anyway.

I would watch these cool workout videos, in which the human equivalent of gods lifted many times their own weight, and  I’d imagine one day looking like that… I’d imagine being able to do all those things, and own a pair of hard as rock abs, but…

I could only do a few push-ups. On my knees.

It took a while to be able to do more. To lift weights. To be able to run…

All of it was painful.

I remember how painful, and how tiring it was.

I also remember that when I noticed results, that was when I started welcoming the pain. Yes. I was proud to wake up the next morning feeling sore. I was a sign that I had worked hard.

Change is painful. Nothing glamorous about it.

But if you want it bad enough, you’ll manage to smile regardless of the pain you feel.

One day I decided to go for a run. It was raining… a bit. I remember that I couldn’t believe how fast I was running in such an effortless manner. It’s difficult to explain. It felt like flying. I felt as if I could jump and soar a hundred feet into the air. I felt as if I could race the cars that were passing me by on the street.

I was grinning like an idiot all during that run.

It felt so good that I almost forgot about the years of pain and humiliation and frustration and wanting to give up, again and again and again.

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13 thoughts on “Transformation Ain’t Pretty

    • I believe that change is inevitable. Stagnation because of fear of failure or pain or rejection or whatever only ensures that the only change that takes place is the kind that you do not want, the kind that ruins your life…

      The same as an abandoned car rusts away on a street, the same happens to us if we decide not to act…

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Such an honest and insightful read! I love the journey your story took me on. I can totally relate. We are often refined by our pain and though unpleasant, it is absolutely necessary for growth and development! Transformation is indeed painful!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I can so co-relate to your post. Change and patience walk hand in hand. One cannot outdo the other.
    I remember being an athlete during teenage, and then illness struck me in the professional life. Yet the journey to overcome it, one step at a time, climbing at a snail pace with each time feeling stronger than before. Yes, it is always worth it.

    Like

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