Other side of fear

fear

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”Jack Canfield

Let me tell you about fear. It’s poison. It’s poison for your mind. It makes you lose control, it makes you freeze, it makes you take the wrong decision. When you let fear take over, you’re just an echo of your former self. An empty shadow and nothing more.

But we’re all afraid, aren’t we? There’s no such thing as fearless. Even the brave are afraid. In fact, one cannot be brave unless one if afraid…

So… what is there to be had on the other side of fear?

The awful truth about life is that what doesn’t kill often makes you wish it did. There’s great sadness and pain in this world, and we all get our fair share. But, you see, eventually all those things that don’t kill us either make us stronger or weaker. After a while, when the pain becomes but a memory, we have a choice.

We can either decide to become stronger or weaker. We can harden ourselves up or not. The choice is always ours.

But we’re afraid… even when the pain goes away, we’re afraid it might return. Even after heartbreaks heal, we’re afraid someone else will break our hearts again. We might never want to fall in love again. We might want to spend a lifetime behind closed doors, just to be sure, without realizing that loneliness will also break our hearts.

That’s why we need to fight fear, we need to see what is it that we can find on the other side of fear.

All our dreams and expectations. All our ambitions. All the power and the courage and the determination and the discipline we could ever need. All that lies just on the other side of fear.

I’ve always wanted to go to the United States and forge a better future there. Ever since I was six, actually. I never even traveled there, mostly because I was afraid of the visa requirements. Or the fact that I’d fail. I just wanted to fight a sure battle, but no one could ever guarantee me that. No one ever will.

And I’ve filled the ocean that lies between Romania and the US with excuses, endless scenarios, and fear. I’ve thought about it, over and over again, and decided that it would be best to wait. Living in a foreign country, all by myself, seemed like too much. Just the thought that I’d need to go through a lot of trouble just to arrive at my destination seemed impossible.

I’ve never even been on a plane.

But…

There’s one thing about me that I never lost, one thing that I didn’t learn or mimic from others. I want things so badly that I’d be willing to do anything to get them. When I decide that it’s time to do so, I don’t let anything stand in my way.

I did the same for writing. I wrote on and off for 8 years before finally deciding that I’d better man up and write more and more stuff. And finish stuff. And get stuff published.

There are no impossible journeys in life. Only journeys we’re too afraid to even start.

I used to think that I couldn’t function properly without smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. Stress and all that. I’d say that I couldn’t even write without cigarettes. But it’s been two months since I quit.

Now I know that life’s all about being afraid and doing it anyways. In fact, fear should motivate me. It should drive me to act, to try my best, to try to solve problems.

I don’t want to spend a lifetime dreaming about an ideal future. I don’t want to wish for it to happen. I want to make it happen. Because no one else will do it for me.

And that makes all the difference.

The world is never against you. The world does not hate you.

You’re just alone. You and your dreams. And it’s entirely up to you to make them happen, one at a time, before it’s too late.

Because the most tragic thing that could ever happen to you is to realize that it’s too late.

“You have two choices, to conquer your fear or to let your fear conquer you.” – Roy Bennett

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7 thoughts on “Other side of fear

  1. Cristian, it’s a little bit at a time. Like the REM song says: Stand in the place where you are. Yes, sometimes there may look better than here and I’m not saying never go to your “there”, however, if you want to come to the U.S., have your connections ready and about a years worth of money to live off of. Start saving now. Good luck.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This is extremely profound, important and accurate. Yes, you need to at least try to conquer your fear. If you don’t, fear will definitely conquer you. Thanks for writing about this topic. It will remind us all to just go for it! Or at least try, most of the time. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. It is a very normal feeling. But fear it is just that: a feeling. It is inside us. Why is so important to success? I think the most interesting part is trying. I tried to get my US visa few times until I got it. I immigrate to another country and It has been a different life, but for sure a better one. A better life only because I tried and I have to tried everyday for 4 years now. And That trying transformed me in a better version of myself. You do not have to know the future, your duty is just to live now.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. We all have things that hold us back from doing something we dream of. One of my biggest regrets was never pursuing my gift for foreign languages. Another has been my fear of change which is odd since I spent many decades changing locations, co-workers, personal relationships, etc growing up and in my military life. DO NOT LET FEAR hold you back from something you dream of. And don’t try — go for it 100 percent. If you fail, do it again. or move on.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I remember thinking the same thing. I wanted to start writing and thought that if I wanted to make it anywhere or to share what I know, then I would have to man up and post something! I resonate. I hope you continue!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. In my life, fear has not played a role. In fact, the opposite is true. Thus began a multitude of mistakes that I regret.

    Regret is a better word for adults. Fear is a good word for young adults and perhaps some older adults.

    I know one thing. Had I not jumped before I looked I wouldn’t have had the life that amazes people. I have some regrets for jumping and not looking, but I also have regrets for making rational decisions based on “looking then jumping”.

    My conclusion is to live in the moment as someone else stated. You can’t let fear be a part of your future. That word should be stricken from one’s vocabulary or used in the appropriate sentiment. Trepidation, misgiving, qualms, and doubt come into play.

    If you want to live a rich-filled life, one must overcome the brain over the heart. Perhaps, one should try thinking with the heart and allow the brain to maintain everything else.

    Liked by 1 person

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