Kill Them With Kindness

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” —  Martin Luther King Jr.

Being mean to someone else, particularly when dealing with situations in which the other person is displaying incompetence, is effortless and often efficient. The result is that you’ve probably ruined their day. It can be difficult to keep cool in such situations, especially when you feel your precious time being wasted, but that’s the thing about being kind: it’s not supposed to be easy.

There’s often a choice to be made: efficient reproach, or less effective, patient kindness.

By choosing the latter, you’ve made the world a slightly better place.

After all, one cannot be kind unless is kind towards those who least deserve it.

A person’s behavior is often a result of their opinion of themselves. If you hate the world, there’s a good chance that you hate yourself too. And being unkind to others isn’t going to improve your (lack of) self-esteem; it just makes things worse. Fueled by insecurity, you’re attempting to position yourself above someone else in order to feel better about yourself.

How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” ― Wayne W. Dyer

On the other hand, happy people are kinder than unhappy people. Being kind releases neurochemicals, activating the same neuro-circuits as by drugs such cocaine. It can also reduce pain levels, and enhances both physical and mental health.

Being kind is good for your overall health, and the most beautiful thing about it is that it doesn’t cost a thing at all. The investment that you make by putting a heartwarming smile onto someone’s face will be returned back to you. With interest.

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24 thoughts on “Kill Them With Kindness

    • See, the thing is that if you try to judge people, you kind of fail. The idea would be to stay away from them.

      If you want to punish someone for being evil, you might figure out that, yes, they’re a villain in your story, but a hero in someone else’s.

      You cannot inflict pain on someone else until you are willing to “forget” they’re just as human as you are.

      Liked by 2 people

        • Of course.

          As the saying goes, the child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.

          Now, we’re oversimplifying a complicated issue that we cannot understand.

          The truth is that those despicable men (Hitler, Stalin, Mao, etc.) acted as a sort of voice to deep unconscious thoughts of certain people, yet we do our best to deny this. It’s as if Hitler personally killed millions or somehow tricked people into doing what they didn’t want to do.

          Yes, it’s easier to accept the existence of a single monster than it is to accept that we all have the monstrous in us. We are capable of terrible, terrible things.

          Liked by 2 people

  1. Cristian, you are on point, as usual! There is so much negativity in the world, and so many unhappy people because they lose sight that we can make a difference one kindness at a time. It’s not hopeless, but the same neurochemicals give artists and writers more opportunity to shed a little love around.

    Liked by 5 people

    • Hi Eric,

      The darkness around us is not to be denied, and it will always be there. But I do believe that we must fight this fight. The consequences of us choosing not to are not to be desired.

      And as one of my favorite sayings goes, little by little becomes a lot. Even the smallest act of kindness can change someone a lot.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I think in some sense we need a bit of sadness and darkness to understand the value of happiness. The result of learning from our darkest times allows us to become even better versions of ourselves. Another amazing post!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Wonderfully said. Ancient Tamil poet Thiruvalluvar said the following lines in his thirukurral. Sharing you the original Tamil verse and translation.

    இன்னாசெய் தாரை ஒறுத்தல் அவர்நாண
    நன்னயஞ் செய்து விடல்.

    To punish wrong, with kindly benefits the doers ply;
    Thus shame their souls; but pass the ill unheeded by.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I can agree for the most part, I don’t mind giving people what they need when their luck is down. However, I do believe there are some people that over step their boundaries and keep asking for things despite being able to do so themselves.

    I’ve had people guilt me into helping them in the past -and I’m okay with that.

    Again, I’m not saying I don’t want to help people. If something happened to my parents or my brother, I’d help them in a heart beat. However, with strangers I’m cautious because sometimes you just don’t know if they really need help or not. And its sad because I know there’s people that need it.

    Now, I only help people that I know well -that way I can be almost completely sure that they need it.

    And I’m not saying that being kind means you have to give people anything either -but they’re are some people that believe that.

    Liked by 2 people

    • You can still be kind and not help people, if they are not worthy of your help. Actually, it’s kind of tricky, because people seldom appreciate or hold on to the kind of help that they couldn’t help themselves. Not sure if that makes sense. We’re all self-made, the princes and the paupers alike. And if a person doesn’t want to help themselves first, even though they may ask for help, they do not want out of their situation. Not truly. Not completely.

      Kindness is just being at peace that you’ve done the best you could for selfless reasons. A certain grace, a lack of unnecessary attachment.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Beautiful post. I shared it on my Facebook page. Kindness was a hard trait for me to master earlier in life, but now I consider it to be one of my most important obligations in this world. Being kind enriches my soul, and I find it doesn’t really matter to me whether my kindness is reciprocated. It usually is, but not always–and if it isn’t, as Wayne Dyer says, that’s their karma.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Pingback: Kill Them With Kindness — Cristian Mihai – ofelia ga

  7. It’s best to be kind and courteous so I can keep my side of the street clean. I have found that kindness can be encouraging yet it still won’t force a change for someone until they are ready to change. So, for me, it is good to have boundaries so my kindness isn’t taken advantage of.

    Liked by 3 people

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