Self-confidence can also be described as a debilitating fear of failure. And the main thing that has kept me from pursuing my dreams for many, many years.
It’s something we all face, at least to some degree.
But how do you boost your self-confidence?
How do you grow out of the person that you are in order to become who you want to be?
The most important part, and the one that all else fails to do much good unless address, is taking control of your life.
You are not looking for someone else to save you, you are not putting the blame on anyone else. You assume responsibility for your actions and for those of the people around you.
Even though it may not be your fault, it is your responsibility to get back up, stronger than you were before.
Also, it helps a lot of you do (all or some of) these things:
1. Groom yourself.
It’s rather amazing how much of a difference a shower and a shave can make when it comes to your self-confidence. There have been days when I turned my mood around completely with this one little thing.
2. Dress up.
If you dress nicely, you’ll feel good about yourself. You’ll feel successful and presentable and ready to conquer the world.
It’s not that you need expensive clothes or a tuxedo, but rather it’s your attention to detail. It’s the way you look in the mirror, and know that you’ve done all that could be done to look your best.
4. Write down some affirmations.
I used to do these a few years back, when I was struggling with depression, anxiety, and lack of self-esteem so terrible that I couldn’t even look people in the eye.
It felt ridiculous to read all these nice things about me, so I wrote them in the second person: You are smart, you are kind, you are powerful, you are confident.
You are what you think about, you are the story you tell yourself about who you are and what you’ve done.
Never, ever, ever underestimate the power of words.
5. Get to know yourself.
“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” ― Winston S. Churchill
Get to know yourself. Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about yourself, and about the thoughts you have about yourself.
Self-awareness is a damn superpower, and the only thing that truly allows you to change yourself.
Start thinking about your limitations, and whether they’re real limitations or just ones you’ve allowed to be placed there, artificially.
6. Be kind and generous.
Maybe this sounds like a cliche to you, but confident people help others. It is easy to pour from an overflowing cup. It is easy to be generous when you yourself have plenty, when you know you can assist others.
Ever read about a knight in shining armor and low self-esteem?
Be your own knight, save your own self first, and you will be able to help others too.
7. Have some clear principles.
Think about your principles …
What is important to you?
How do you define success? How do you define happiness? What does it mean to you to be of service to others?
8. Speak in a slow and controlled manner.
Such a simple thing, but it has a very big difference in how others perceive you.
A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence. Someone who feels that they aren’t worth listening to will speak quickly.
9. Stand tall.
Stand tall and straight, and you’ll feel better about yourself.
One exercise I used to do was imagine having a cape around my shoulders; just like Superman. How would I walk then? I’d visualize that cape, and I’d walk with my head high, proud of who I was.
10. Become better at something.
Self-confidence means knowing for sure you can do something. And how do you do that? By working and working and working on bettering yourself.
What areas of your life need improvement? What do you want to be?
Set aside time and work on that, and this new found confidence will reverberate in other areas of your life as well.
11. Get rid of a bad habit.
People who quit an addiction or bad habit often times feel a lot more confident. They realize that what felt impossible wasn’t so, and they feel brave enough to try other things.
After all, they are just now realizing they’ve been holding back for a long time.
Funny thing, but this works. I feel instantly better when I smile, and it helps me be kinder to others as well. Not a bad investment of your time and energy.
13. Be grateful.
I strenuously believe in gratitude, and I believe that you cannot have more unless you are glad with what you have.
I know, I know. I put this one on almost every list I make.
Exercise has been one of the most empowering habits I ever developed, and it has made me feel so much better about myself.
As they say, leaders are readers.
By becoming more knowledgeable, you’ll be more confident.
I always aim for one book per week.
What are some of your ways of boosting your self-confidence? What works best for you?