The Things We Lost

Remember when you were a kid? How you thought you could be anything you wanted? How you wanted to grow up, so you could become who you aspired to be? How your curiosity knew no limits? How brave you were…

Remember how much you struggled with everything, yet you kept on pressing on. Everything felt like an adventure. Learning to walk, to talk, to write… everything was this wonderful mystery that could and had to be solved.

You knew not the meaning of the world “impossible”, you couldn’t care less what people thought of you.

The whole world was right there for the taking, wasn’t it?

But what happened? What happens to us all?

How is it that we end up having “first world problems” in a world where many are struggling to find enough water? Or to eat? How is it that suddenly one man’s ceiling becomes another man’s floor?

How is it that the fear of failure takes such a strong hold on us? How is it when suicide becomes the second cause of death?

What happens to us along the way?

How come some can fight their way through life, and it’s most often than not the very kids who were told from the beginning they wouldn’t amount to much? How come those who have the resources, the connections, the education, the family, the friends… all this support system early on spend their lives in self-inflicted misery and chaos?

What makes one man aim for the stars while another one goes through life with his head bowed, never daring, never demanding?

How is it that some are living while others are just alive?

What is it that we lose along the way?

I remember when I was a kid. My dreams and aspiration. How I wanted to be able to talk about anything to anyone. I hated being a kid. I wanted to do grownup stuff. I wanted to know everything. Then I wanted to become a writer. And I would write and write and write, and it didn’t matter what the world told me.

And the world kept telling me that I couldn’t write, and I kept writing regardless.

There was so much hope inside me…

And it is true what they say. Hope isn’t built on mountain tops, but in the valleys below, while you are struggling to make your way to the top. You climb and you climb and you think of the view from the top, and how amazing it will be.

When do we become afraid?

When do we stop taking chances, assuming risks, going after what we want as if our lives depend on it?

When do we stop to believe in love, in kindness, in the magic that resides within ourselves and those around us?

When do we decide that it is better to crawl through life, rather than fly?

When do we let others clip our wings? Or do we do it to ourselves, out of fear of falling?

Why is it that at a certain age we begin to smile cynically at those who dream big dreams, at such as expressions as “leap of faith.”

When do we decide that we’ll never be great and settle for mediocrity?

When do we decide it’s best to admire greatness achieved through hard work and call it talent.

When do we start using “if” far more often than “when?”


  1. We get hindered by the dream. Of course I want to be a police officer, firefighter, or astronaut, but from the ages of 5 to 18, we spend 8 hours per day in school. Then from the ages of 18-22, we spend hours in a room studying for a piece of paper that cost an upwards of $100,000. And, let’s not forget we have to years paying back the education, and in most cases, the major we didn’t select. Lastly, in our spare time somehow get a house on the hill, have kids, get married, and wait until 25 to drive a rental car… If it was lost we could always find it, but I think the question is what is no longer available.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Profound and thought-provoking! Can also be described as a riddle because those are hard questions to answer but I love it! It’s a check your chin kinda piece but inspiration to reevaluate one’s self and do better. Superb!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Very inspirational and a good source of some much-needed introspection. I say the moment we rediscover our child selves is the moment we become truly liberated and ready to take on all the world has to offer, but the journey is certainly not an easy one.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. My sense of wonder was taken from me at a young age, and replaced with nothing, but something inside kept me moving forward. After a time of being stalled out, the questions you site, needed to be asked. Knowing where it began, why, and how, helped me to find a new why, and a new how. Moving forward has never felt so awarding. Thank you Cristian for your constant encouragement.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I’m afraid we get hindered by practicality. I still have hopes and dreams, but, by the time I get home from work, make tea, wash up, put tomorrow’s stuff out, etc, there isn’t much time to do anything about them. There are so many things I want to do, but I only get 20 days’ annual leave!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. That was excellent. Held me all the way through each and every word. It should resonate with each and every one of us. Thanks for sharing those thoughts!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Wow. Well, this is an interesting blog. You are right, we came into this world and many of us are afraid. I am afraid of just about everything I do. I have learned to not trust my decisions in life as they generally are wrong. But I was brave once. I took on many issues and won. I recently took on a VA hospital and won over an issue regarding service dogs. I won. Service dogs (I have one) now have access to places in the hospital that they had denied us and in particular several female disabled combat vets were turned away from the ER. Not going to happen again.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I am 74 now, when I was in elementary school students took profile tests which determined I had no artistic capabilities and was aggressively restrained from Art.

    As a senior at university one day I was in line at the PO standing next to the head of the Art Department (who I knew) who looked at a drawing I made on an envelope and said “I did not know you had artistic talent.” It took a few more years of wandering around, graduate school, university instructor, banging nails, and at 30 years old I entered design school—three years of full time design school while driving a cab nights and then I spent over 38 years in my own business designing marcom and corporate communications materials for hitech and biotec.

    On the other hand I have known many people who thought they could do things they could not do.

    My own thought is you have to want it, have some natural ability, be willing to make the effort to develop that ability into skill, AND if you keep showing up at the right place, on time, your opportunity will happen.


  9. I realize people do give up or sometimes get steered away from a path they would follow. In middle school, I took an art class. Unfortunately, my youthful vision far outstripped my ability to create it and I was told I probably shouldn’t pursue art as a career. But, I have a need to create and so I tried many avenues, writing, polymer clay figures, crafting, quilting and others I probably don’t remember. I married early and have been married for 48 years. That meant jobs and chores and the emotional ups and downs of a relationship. Through it all, I thought I might still find a way. 11 years ago now, I first put oil paint to canvas and I felt like the heaven’s opened. More importantly, I learned to own my creations, no longer trying to or wanting to be, or a work in progress. By doing this, I freed myself from the feeling that I was being judged,rather than what I created. Eventually, this translated to writing and digital art as well. Whoever you are, keep trying. I didn’t figure out who I wanted to be or what I wanted to do with my life until I was almost 60. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. The quote by Frank Warren made me cry – I’ve been broken a few times. Wonderful post, thank you!

    It reminds me of a section I read in a book by M. Scott Peck (I think). He recounts the story of Jacob’s struggle with God in the desert. Jacob encountered God in the desert, who appeared as a mysterious figure. Jacob fought with God, and just when he believed that he had the upper hand and could defeat the black figure, God broke Jacob’s hip, leaving him helplessly on the ground, maimed. But when God turned to leave, Jacob got hold God’s leg, and said: “I will not let you go unless you bless me”. So God blessed him and gave him and his descendants the name “Israel”, which means “one who has struggled with God”.
    Peck interpreted this as a representation of an experience many are familiar with – we suffer in life, and we learn from the suffering, and grow in wisdom. The experience leaves us maimed, but also strangely blessed.

    Liked by 1 person

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