If You Want to Win, You’ve Got to Enjoy Losing

Ever since I released my first novel I’ve had two dreams:

To become the youngest writer to ever be awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature.

To also be awarded an Academy Award.

Almost ten years later, and I’m not even a world-famous or bestselling author, but I’m still here. I am still writing. 

Eight years of almost daily blogging. Eight years.

And, you see, that’s the thing. You see the highlight reel, not the behind the scenes of life. You don’t stumble that often upon the blogs of those who quit after a few months.

As a matter of fact, you can’t find evidence my first blog ever existed. Why? Because I deleted it after publishing three blog posts.

You can’t buy my first book anymore. Why? Because I decided to unpublish it after realizing that it’s a bunch of crap that I shouldn’t even have written in existence, let alone try to sell through Amazon.

I am where I am, a failure or a winner, you decide, because I didn’t give up. I kept punching those damn keys. I am full of wounds but still standing on my feet.

And if you think that I have not failed enough, here are a few of my other failures:

  • In 2012, I launched irevuo, an online platform dedicated to art. After fundraising thousands of dollars, I gave up after a few blog posts, and just one edition of the digital magazine.
  • In 2018 I decided to revive irevuo and add affiliate links via Amazon. It took me 3 months to earn my first $10.
  • I earned $1.05 after self-publishing my first short story.
  • In 2018, I started a YouTube channel. Quit after a month or so. Lost about three thousand dollars that I had invested in buying a camera, a microphone, and a new laptop. 
  • In 2018, I also decided to launch an online store for irevuo. Lost a few thousand dollars on ads and whatnot in the subsequent months.

The list goes on and on. Failed ideas, dead Instagram accounts, articles that I had labored over for days and no one bothered to read, and one novel that has yet to receive its first review on Amazon because no one bothered to buy it. 

The truth is that there’s always an incredibly long list of failures attached to even the most successful of people. It’s important to never forget this.

The reason for this is that, in order to figure out what works, you first have to try all sorts of things that are not working — the major difference between people is that some go through this process as fast as possible. You see, they are not afraid to fail, to lose, to admit that something just did not work.

Failure is inevitable. If you do not act at all, you fail by default. Failing to act is the only failure that never, ever teaches you anything.

If you can’t happily fail your way to success, are you sure you’re going to enjoy success as much as you tell yourself you’ll do? 

25 thoughts on “If You Want to Win, You’ve Got to Enjoy Losing

  1. I love how honest you have been with this post! Lots of people want to only present their highlight reels and I think it’s a factor in the ‘compare and despair’ culture that a causes lots of distress. I wish you success (and/or meaningful loss) in the future!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This blog boosts my love for reading and writing more and more. I’m blessed to have stumbled upon your site! Thank you for the inspiration.
    After learning that you’ve deleted your first blog, I realized that I wrote very unconstructively from my first blog posts. 😵 I need to learn more about writing in general.
    I’m going to try the Art of Blogging for myself and continuously pray that I grow with my writing everyday.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Rightly said! We can never enjoy the real taste of success if we never failed. Or does never failing mean you never took risks? Or is it even possible to “never fail” ?
    I have failed multiple times, in career in relationships and learnt a great deal out of each of them. :) Today when I look back, I can surely join the dots.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Very much interesting! I’m inspired. I don’t know if you’re still working on the irevuo thing? The fact that you would go back to revive it after TEMPORARY failure, means there’s something you like about it? I’m curious

    Liked by 2 people

  5. an important life lesson i’ve learned that pertains to just about every avenue is to not be hard on yourself about where you are at in your journey. each stage holds beauty and promise and propels you to the next chapter. even the losses matter, and equally don’t matter. i admire you ability to always keep going 🙏🏽

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think one of the things that kept me going was that I didn’t have a chance. As they say, you never know how strong you are until you have no other option but to be strong.

      Before starting this blog, I tried to get a “normal” job like most people. I couldn’t. No one would hire me, not even my stepfather’s friends. Some said I was retarded. I was not. I was just kind of shy and self-conscious and not confident enough to look others in the eye. So I think that I forever found I’m just too weird to ever get a proper job, so I had to make this blogging thing work, no matter what.

      Do or die is quite the motivation. I find that when we are posed with such a choice, we quite often tend to do not die.

      So I just did.

      Liked by 1 person

      • i love that and can honestly relate. i tried the “real job” thing as well, last year during my dark night of the soul (wrote a post about that) and it just wasn’t for me. college wasn’t for me, either. and i had to come to terms with the fact that that’s okay. this is my journey. ✨
        good for you for following your path. not all have the courage to.

        Liked by 2 people

  6. I’ve never related to anything more than your post here. I’ve only been at this “blogging” thing for-lets say 3 years (I started on a different site). Out of all the writing I’ve tried, (horror, poetry, flash-fiction horror, cheesy adventures that didn’t last, random off the cuff crap) only one type has gotten me further, and that’s the most random, off the top of my head, pointless (in my opinion) writing that I’ve done. I’m stuck in the pick-a-direction-readers-want phase instead of sticking with my own ideas…I’m terrible…and I’ve rambled, I’m so sorry. I just wanted you to know, I relate. Majorly.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Great post. I love the analogy of the highlight reel vs the behind the scenes. So true about life. Failures or non successes help define us and help make successes all the more sweeter. Thanks for this reminder.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! Well, I’ve always hated that expression,”overnight success.”

      The truth is that I wrote eight years without being paid a cent before deciding to blog. I blogged for another six months before earning any money. Took me a while to become an overnight success.

      The same principle applies to the way we view success: we never, ever see how many failures it took someone to reach success.

      Like

  8. Okay. I was blogging a long time back and then I hit the streets for a time because music is my thing. Now i have revisited my blog . You were here then you are still here. There are a few of you blogging away still after all these years. There is the angloswiss lady and some retiree diary and a few others . I cant believe you are all still here after all of these syears.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hi, Cristian just wanted to thank you. I started writing recently and ran in doubt at times who will read … You are my first follower for the thoughts I expressed. Your post symbolizes that just because you fell down several times, you helped out young buddies like us.. thanks again. I would pass this kindness to someone. Cheers.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. A very true post indeed. Everyone strives for success but nobody notices the darkness of failures behind a lot of successful person. Struggles make us and when one achieves successes, those paving stones laid by the dozens of failures keeps him connected to the reality. Enjoyed it!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Thanks. Your blog gives me another reason to keep writing. Brief encounters with three of the big Five raised my hopes, ended in failure.
    Especially after being told with authority that I’m ‘not a writer,’ I was wary about blogging.- yet still want to write – and read the work of so many people. .

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Wow, this is so inspiring! Thanks for sharing your failures. I have tried to start a few businesses that didn’t work out. It’s nice to hear that I am not the only one who failed. You are right, the news, self-help books and YouTube videos only talk about the successes. Your post made me feel like I am human, like failing is normal. Thank you for that. You just got a new follower :)

    Liked by 2 people

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