For a long time, there was only one group of people that I’d let define me: women.
Specifically, the women I was attracted to.
I’d fall in love too quickly, I’d compromise myself for a bit of attention. I’d call myself a romantic, thought my life was not complete unless I had a soulmate by my side.
After all, I was the one who wrote the following lines, “I could conquer the world with one hand, if only you’d hold the other.”
But you see, the romantics out there are also insecure, selfish, and quite misogynistic. I know, because I also kept asking myself what was wrong with women because they didn’t like me back.
Well, whenever you find yourself asking what’s wrong with something or someone, it’s far more probable there’s actually something wrong with you.
It took me most of my twenties to realize this.
Nobody believes in you until you do.
The world changes its opinion of you the day after you do.
And nobody is going to believe in you until after you’ve done it. Or, at least, you’re way on your way to accomplishing whatever goal you have in mind.
That’s why you rarely find folks willing to ride or die with you.
The sad truth of life is that we live as we dream. Alone.
The best part of life? We live as we dream. Alone.
You are free to be who you want to be, to live life on your own terms, to accomplish any goal you have, to travel the world, to experiment, to fall in and out of love, to write, to cherish the small moments…
Don’t waste your life wishing for someone to come along and make things right for you.
You design yourself. You are self-made, whether you like to admit it or not.
Being unapologetically yourself will make you look like you have superpowers
Because they believe that what they want is something to be granted to them by someone else, most people feel like they can’t be themselves.
I’m a personal growth blogger. I write all day, every day about self-improvement, success, and discipline.
But at the same time, I write about the depression, loneliness, and fear I have experienced for years and years.
Those of you who have been reading this blog for at least a few years know about my struggles with health issues, money, and depression.
But one thing that was tough for me to admit, even to myself, was that I was going through all that because I felt incomplete.
Yes. It’s not easy to write these words now.
I believe that we, as men, cannot afford to admit that we screw up in life because we have no one by our side, because, truth be told, it shouldn’t matter.
And it doesn’t.
Being yourself means loving yourself enough to not care whether someone rides or dies with you.
You live as you dream. Alone.
And that’s fine. More than fine.
It means you’re free to live life on your own terms.
And it’s the most exhilarating feeling ever.
Also, the paradox of this is that when you begin to enjoy your own company more than the company of others, that’s when you attract people. Genuine people.
People will only want to ride with you if you’re headed somewhere. If you’re on your path, if you are clear and concise about the things that truly matter for you.
And when you compromise yourself in order to get others to like you, or stay by your side, what does that say about you? That you don’t even care where you’re going, that you’d gladly be sitting on a sinking ship as long as you have someone holding your hand.
And it shouldn’t be like that. You can never, ever, ever conquer the world if you insist on someone else holding your hand, if you feel incomplete, inadequate, weak without someone by your side.
The truth is, the world falls in love with those who can conquer the world with just one hand, because they’re so bad-ass they can hold the other one behind their back.
This post is part of a new series called, “I Wasted My Twenties.”
As I am a few months from turning 30, I thought I’d share with you the lessons I’ve learned (the hard way) during my twenties. The good, the bad, the ugly, the frustrating, the breathtakingly beautiful. All of them.