The Secret to An Extraordinary Life

Three months ago, I packed everything I owned into my girlfriend’s car and left my hometown of Constanta, Romania for a lot of unknown possibilities in the capital of Romania.

Don’t tell her that, but I was kind of scared to death.

You see, just like most other folks, when you’ve been doing something in a certain way all your life, it’s almost impossible to decide on a new way of doing it.

But I had to decide. She had gotten a new job, a much better job, and I couldn’t tell her not to take advantage of such an opportunity because I didn’t feel like stepping outside my comfort zone.

Now, the thing is that opportunities don’t look like an incredibly easy and fast way to achieve something.

At first, I found it tough sledding. I had a hard time sleeping at night. Yeah, I’m that kind of person. It wasn’t my bed, my house, my city. I felt out of place in ways I never felt before. And even though every aspect of my life was being improved upon, I felt like going back to the safety and comfort of a life I was comfortable with.

And here’s the funny thing about comfort: we prefer a hell we know over a heaven we aren’t accustomed to.

Yes, we will prefer to live a life that is short of our expectations and desires if that means we never have to grow out of our comfort zone.

After a few weeks of doing… well… the same kind of things I used to do back home, the coronavirus pandemic happened. Now, why is this important?

Well, living in the capital meant that our bills and rent were much higher than back home. Thus, I had a simple choice to make: do or die. Well, do or go back home with my tail between my legs.

That’s when I started to change things around. A lot. I began to actively seek ways of earning more, while doing more.

I was adapting.

Also, as lockdown measures were put into place, going home was no longer an option. I was here, whether I liked it or not.

And I decided to like it. To stop thinking of it as a struggle, but an opportunity to grow.

What felt like hell became heaven.

We can get anything we want in life if we’re willing to adapt to changes in our environment.

And every single time, without fail, if you want something you never had, you have to become someone you’ve never been.

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.”

Charles Darwin

I have written about change, over and over again. About how painful it can be. About the fact that we are both the marble and the sculptor. Yet, it feels that this message is worth repeating, over and over again.

Change is inevitable.

If you can’t see it, you are about to be blind sided. Change is going to slowly creep up on you because you’ve decided to be reactive rather than proactive. You are waiting for the environment to change in such radical ways that you have no choice but to change.

Because, you see, we’re smart enough to understand that we always have a choice: it’s either adapt to subtle changes in your life, in the people around you, in your income, or you can decide not to.

And that’s how you get lost. That’s how you screw up your life. That’s how you “wake up” one day to find our that your significant other has been cheating on you, and they are planning to leave you.

You did not decide to adapt to the changes in your environment. You chose the comfort of being who you’ve always been over the discomfort of becoming who you should be.

If you do not actively pursue change, if you do not work on yourself to become the kind of person who can have what you want, what you will get is a lot of heartbreak and pain.

Ignorance isn’t bliss. Ignorance is suffering. Ignorance is spending your life on the sidelines, wishing for a chance to play the game.

We must strive to adapt our environment to us, and if we fail, we must adapt to our environment.

We must force ourselves to change the way we do things, the way we think about things, and the way we react to things.

If not, we will have to live the rest of our lives with the gnawing sense of having lost something that we can almost describe, but never quite understand, we will have to live with the bitterness that comes to haunt us during our most lonely nights, the ghost of who we should have been but decided not to.

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  1. This is so true! Neale Donald Walsch said “life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” That’s my motto for my life at the moment. Sometimes you have to leave everything you know and love in order to find out what you’re actually capable of. Very well written. Thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Wow “if you want something you never had, you have to become someone you’ve never been.” Hit differently. Thank you, I needed this message. I don’t understand why it’s so difficult to change sometimes! Do you have anymore blogs on how to change?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow! This hit home for me. I, too, am adapting, discovering new things that make me happy rather than conform to what everyone else around expects of me. Thank you for sharing your insights.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sounds like similar adventure to mine. Only I moved from Belgium to Bucharest, not to mention I am Polish and I need to learn a completely new language and accommodate to a completely different culture. I am not a fan of changes, and this one comes huge. Anyway, good luck to you in your new life in Bucharest!

    Liked by 1 person

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