Irresistible. Defined as “too attractive and tempting to be resisted.“
Impossible to avoid, to refuse. Impossible to ignore.
Admit it, being “irresistible” is something that sounds pretty awesome. Being that one person in a room full of people everyone listens to, that one person who walks around as if they are wearing a superhero’s cape around their shoulders.
And, contrary to popular belief, being this kind of attractive has little to do with looks. It’s more about habits. The habits you develop.
1. They know what they want, why they want it, and act as if they already have it.
Defined as “clarity of purpose,” highly irresistible people know what they want, how to get it, and why it’s important that they have it.
In other words, they are passionate.
My girlfriend fell in love with me while listening to me talk about one of the novels I was working on at the time.
It’s those who are wishy-washy that feel lukewarm. They do not attract others, because they do not feel anything strongly themselves.
Let’s think it terms of this terrible cliche of you being a driver, okay? And you must be headed somewhere. It doesn’t matter where, as long as you decide where you want to go, for any reason at all, because that’s what you want to do. People will want to ride with you because of that.
Most people don’t even want to be in control, let alone know where they are going. And if they do want to be the heroes of their own stories, they don’t know where they want to go.
If you want to be highly irresistible, you need to have clarity of purpose.
2. They are okay with failure and rejection.
This one might come as a surprise, but highly irresistible people know that failure is not fatal.
On the contrary, they have become free of outcome. If they succeed, great, if not, it’s okay.
They do what they do because they enjoy it. They are not desperate to reach the top of the mountain, but they do want to enjoy the climb.
Highly irresistible people are not clingy, needy, or jealous. They do not impose on others, they do not try to manipulate.
Think of someone you find to be irresistible. I bet they are not always begging you for your attention or time. They do not let themselves be defined by you spending time with them, and they certainly don’t let themselves be defined by their previous failure or even the possibility of it.
The people who struggle in life are often those whose life stories are filled with failure and rejection. It’s all they think about.
Highly irresistible people, on the other hand, know that failure is, at least once in a while, unavoidable, and thus they focus on playing the game the best they can while enjoying it as much as possible.
3. They take care of themselves first.
You can’t pour from an empty cup, so the highly irresistible person takes care of themselves first.
They accumulate knowledge and wealth, and they take care of their health, physical and mental.
Then they can dedicate their time and energy to helping others.
The truth is, if you want to attract others in your life, you need to have the kind of life that they desire. You need to be able to offer them something for the time they spend with you.
Highly irresistible people are the ones who have answers to an awful lot of questions, and you can do so only if you go in search of those answers by yourself.
Take care of yourself first, then you can do more for others than you ever thought possible.
4. They live in a world of abundance.
Abundance means that your cup is not just full, but it’s overflowing.
Imagine two people talking. One of them has just returned from a trip to Rome, the other one used to live there.
Now, the first person doesn’t know that, and thus they want to tell them all about their recent travel to the eternal city.
Of course, the person who used to live in Rome is just going to ask the other one about their likes and dislikes, and what did they visit, and so on and so forth.
It would seem irrelevant to say anything about them having lived there, because their experience is far superior to the other person’s.
Someone who lives a life of abundance usually does a lot more for others, and thus not require others to do anything for them.
After all, billionaires don’t usually go around asking for donations, while people who have a lot of career options don’t fret much about the future of a certain workplace.
Most people are locked in scarcity mode. They are selfish, self-centered, and envious of other people.
The highly irresistible person always wants to negotiate a certain deal in order for it to be a win-win, while the other guy is always trying to make sure they win more.
Who do you think is more attractive?
5. They have standards they adhere to.
Most people don’t get the job they want, or the spouse they want, or even the body they want because they have not set certain standards.
Most people date anyone who just kind of shows up. They don’t have a clear set of qualities they are after.
Similarly, most people never look for opportunities to earn more because they do not set standards for earning more.
A standard is something that must happen. It’s not a should, it’s a must. It has to happen, no matter what.
Highly irresistible people will follow through on their promises, no matter what. They get the job they want, they get the grade they’re after, and they only tolerate certain types of behaviors in others.
A highly irresistible person will cancel a date in one of those cases:
- There’s some sort of natural disaster.
- They died.
You are not what you say you’ll do, you’re what you do, and highly irresistible people know that. They have set a standard for excellence in all areas of their lives.
They are not afraid to commit a lot of time and energy to getting all that they want out of life, and this also means that if they want you to be a part of their lives, you have the qualities they are looking for.
In other words, they choose. Most people don’t. Most people drift through life one toxic relationship at a time.
6. They are unapologetically themselves.
When you’re honest with who you are, even your own quirks, mistakes, or darkness, you will develop what others call “integrity.”
Integrity is not being beyond reproach, but simply being who you are, and being honest with yourself and others about who you are.
It’s as simple as that.
People will respect you, even admire you, if you are unapologetically yourself.
You know what your price is, so to speak, and people will gladly pay it because most people are just trying to get anything at all for a fake self.
7. Even though they have the answers, they usually ask questions.
It’s no big secret the fact that people love to talk about themselves.
Being highly irresistible is not about being interesting, but about being interested.
Even though you could provide better answers, it’s always best to be the one asking questions.
Instead of going on and on about themselves, highly irresistible people engage others by asking questions, by being genuinely interested in other people’s lives.
If you came from a place of abundance, knew exactly what you wanted, why you wanted it, and had the self-confidence that comes as the by-product of always doing the right thing for the right reason, you’d be far more interested in other people than you would be in getting others interested in you, right?
If you want other people to find you irresistible, all you need to do is develop the right habits.
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