Nobody Can Define You

Me, some 20 years ago.

Ever been told by someone else to stick to one thing or another? Ever been told that doing something is just not you?

Ever been told that “you’ve changed?” Did you notice that it usually had to do with changing something about yourself in a way that others could no longer understand? Or predict? Or influence?

Ever felt trapped by other people’s opinion of you? Ever felt misunderstood? As if what you knew you were would dissipate into the surrounding environment?

Yeah, I’ve been there.

But how do you go about it? How do you go about being you while still living up to other people’s expectations?

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What Does It Mean to Love Someone?

“I will not live without love.” – Vincent van Gogh

Falling in love is easy. Too easy sometimes. We fall in love with someone who’s a little bit different than all the others we have met before, we fall in love when someone tells us something new about ourselves, we fall in love with the way someone acts or talks, we fall in love with people who have traits that are similar or exactly the opposite of ours.

There are just about a million different reasons why we fall in love. Continue reading

Fight for Your Dream

“Most people will spend their lives doing jobs that they don’t particularly enjoy, and will eventually save up enough money to stop doing those jobs just in time to start dying instead. Don’t be one of those people. There’s a difference between living, and just surviving. Do something that you love, and find someone to love who loves that you love what you do.
It really is that simple.
And that hard.”John Connolly

I believe that most of us crave adventure. We want our lives to make us feel. We crave the bittersweet excitement brought on by uncertainty.

But we also want safety. And comfort. Just enough.

We are torn between “more” and “just enough.”
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When You Feel like Giving Up

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, again. Then quit. There’s no use being a damn fool about it.”W.C.Fields

Perseverance is not an innate ability. Resilience, defined as promising yourself to never give up, is developed by giving up over and over again and wishing that you hadn’t.

As they say, experience is such a cruel teacher.

But you learn. Oh, my God, do you learn.

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A Matter of Perspective

“For everything you have missed, you have gained something. For everything you gain, you have lost something else. It is about your outlook towards life. You either regret or rejoice.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life’s simply a matter of perspective. Everyone’s fighting a hard battle, every single person we meet has lost someone they’ll never get back. Each and every one of us wishes for something that, most probably, we’ll never have.

But what we think about all this is crucial. Continue reading

Indifference

“Neither love nor terror makes one blind: indifference makes one blind.” – James Baldwin

I believe that this world is only as big as we want it to be. We don’t see the world as it is, but as we are.

And I also believe that a lot of people choose not to see as much as they could. I strenuously believe people kind of like being blind to the outside world, to what doesn’t cater to their needs and desires. Continue reading

I Am Full of Wounds and Still Standing on My Feet

People often think of success as a singular moment. It’s not.

Think of it this way. One day you get sick and tired of always being sick and tired by the way you look. You can’t stand seeing yourself in the mirror, so you decide it’s time to go to the gym.

You work out for a day or two. What happens after that? Do you see any results? Do the people around you?

If nothing changed, are you a failure? What happened?

Do a lot of people give up because after one, two, twenty workouts, there’s still no visible change? There’s no one to acknowledge their work? What if they quit, and then start over, and then quit again, and then start again… and one day, they just keep going?

If they keep working out, going to the gym, day in and day out, and then, one day, they look in the mirror and they go like, “Wow.” And all their friends and family congratulate them on what they achieved.

Is that the moment when they became successful? Or did everything before that moment lead to the moment when everyone else acknowledged their success? Continue reading