When You Stop Striving for Perfection You Might As Well Be Dead

Perfection. A word that often gets etched in our brains. We often describe a beautiful woman as a “perfect 10.”

Perfection. A word that breaks one’s heart, for those who strive for it are afraid they’re never going to achieve it.

But what does it mean to be perfect? A perfect ten… Physically stunning in such a way that there’s nothing anyone could add or take away to further enhance your beauty.

Some aspire towards this kind of beauty. They spend enormous amounts of money to become perfect.

But beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, doesn’t it? Continue reading

Never Give Up on Your Dreams

One of my favorite quotes goes like this: “Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.”

Ambrose Redmon wrote that.

Fear is an impulse, or like the tattoo on my arm states, “Fear is the mind killer.” Frank Herbert wrote that.

What does fear have to do with anything? Well, it has a lot to do with how I became a writer. Continue reading

The Paradox of Change

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” – Carl Rogers

Most of us struggle with the issue of identity. We struggle with gaining enough self-confidence and self-esteem in order to properly navigate through life.

And we struggle because we somehow feel inadequate. There’s a voice inside our heads that constantly tells us about flaws and quirks that we’d better keep hidden from others, should we want to be accepted. The negative traits that we try to hide, repress, or change are the ones that end up harming us a lot more than others. Continue reading

Nobody Can Define You

Me, some 20 years ago.

Ever been told by someone else to stick to one thing or another? Ever been told that doing something is just not you?

Ever been told that “you’ve changed?” Did you notice that it usually had to do with changing something about yourself in a way that others could no longer understand? Or predict? Or influence?

Ever felt trapped by other people’s opinion of you? Ever felt misunderstood? As if what you knew you were would dissipate into the surrounding environment?

Yeah, I’ve been there.

But how do you go about it? How do you go about being you while still living up to other people’s expectations?

Continue reading

What Does It Mean to Love Someone?

“I will not live without love.” – Vincent van Gogh

Falling in love is easy. Too easy sometimes. We fall in love with someone who’s a little bit different than all the others we have met before, we fall in love when someone tells us something new about ourselves, we fall in love with the way someone acts or talks, we fall in love with people who have traits that are similar or exactly the opposite of ours.

There are just about a million different reasons why we fall in love. Continue reading

Fight for Your Dream

“Most people will spend their lives doing jobs that they don’t particularly enjoy, and will eventually save up enough money to stop doing those jobs just in time to start dying instead. Don’t be one of those people. There’s a difference between living, and just surviving. Do something that you love, and find someone to love who loves that you love what you do.
It really is that simple.
And that hard.”John Connolly

I believe that most of us crave adventure. We want our lives to make us feel. We crave the bittersweet excitement brought on by uncertainty.

But we also want safety. And comfort. Just enough.

We are torn between “more” and “just enough.”
Continue reading

When You Feel like Giving Up

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, again. Then quit. There’s no use being a damn fool about it.”W.C.Fields

Perseverance is not an innate ability. Resilience, defined as promising yourself to never give up, is developed by giving up over and over again and wishing that you hadn’t.

As they say, experience is such a cruel teacher.

But you learn. Oh, my God, do you learn.

Continue reading