The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling. – David Foster Wallace
Written by someone who ended up hanging himself, I think he knew what he was talking about.
Deciding to end one’s life needs quite a lot of contemplating on the subject. And, truth of the matter, we could debate the accuracy of such a description and all aspects of depression and suicide until the end of time, without arriving at a certain conclusion.
Maybe it’s got to do with emotional resilience. Maybe it’s got to do with neurological damage, with hormones and stuff. Continue reading →
One of my favorite sayings goes like this, “little by little, a little becomes a lot.”
The truth is that we often think of change as this huge project, when in fact it’s always the small stuff that shapes our lives, the daily decisions that become daily habits that soon become our destiny.
Here are six small changes you can implement in your life, changes that will have a bigger impact on your overall health and well-being than you might expect.
For many years, I was what some like to call “restless elite.” I’d go to bed at five in the morning, and wake up at around eleven…
Yes, I could properly function on just 6 hours of sleep. But I also drank a gallon of Coke, 5-6 coffees, and smoked a pack of cigarettes a day, so “function” might not be the kind of word that I could define even if you’d slap me with a dictionary. Or use it to wake me up.
I did all this because, well, in case you didn’t know, I live in the future.
My timezone is Bucharest, Romania. GMT+3. Which means I am usually a few hours ahead of just about everyone who reads my blog, so to fix this, I’d go to bed around the time the sun would rise. Continue reading →