Is It That Bad to Fail?

“It is sometimes a mistake to climb; it is always a mistake never even to make the attempt. If you do not climb, you will not fall. This is true. But is it that bad to fail, that hard to fall?”Neil Gaiman

I think failure is not the opposite of success. No. Failure is a stepping stone to success. An integral part of success. We learn so much from failure, and not nearly enough from success.

And, yet, most people are afraid of failure. Are you one of them? Why?

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You fall. You get up. You try again.

I write a lot about failure, because I consider that a man has to overcome his fear of failure. One must understand its nature and effect, if one wishes to be successful.

Truth be told, it’s not the fall that breaks most people, but their fear of falling. You get used pretty fast to the idea that most things don’t work from the first try.

Also, most people don’t achieve their goals because they don’t set them. Can’t hit a target you do not see… Continue reading

Never Stop Evolving

Almost four years ago I lost something important to me. I lost the pleasure to write. Struggling with depression, not wanting to admit this struggle, not willing to say it out loud that something had to change, I did my best to be self-destructive while hoping someone would save me from myself.

Truth be told, I’m not good at lying to myself enough to pretend that okay is good enough. That average is fine for me. That routine is something I enjoy.

I spent most of my childhood dreaming of the moment I’d grow up and assume the role and put a dent in the universe, and here I was, twenty something, lost, lazy, confused, and somehow feeling sorry for myself day in and day out.

I had lost myself, had lost the drive that got me this wonderful blog and a fantastic audience. Lost my hunger, my ambition, my desire to be the best possible version of myself.

I thought this was it. This was what I was going to be, this was all that I could be. Somehow, less than average. Some sort of… dreamer without the energy to do anything other than dream.

Everything felt too hard: working out, doing the work, aspiring for more, learning new things.

Twenty something years old and I felt as if I was too old to learn new stuff.

I was lazy. That was what I was. I wanted for things to fall on my lap or else pretended that I didn’t want them at all.

I dreamed of a future where I could be all that I had dreamt of being, but wouldn’t move a finger to make those dreams a reality.

If you’re like this, if there’s this stupid voice telling you that you can’t do something, please don’t listen to it.

If there’s a voice telling you that it’s okay to want things and accept you’ll never have them, do silence this voice.

You are not a noun, you are a verb. Continue reading

THIS Is The Secret to Success

Rejoice.

I am going to share with you a secret trick to creating a successful business, being happy, having friends, influencing people, and pretty much getting everything you want from life.

This secret trait is… Continue reading

Impossible or I’m possible?

“What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are.” – Anthony Robbins

The realists will say this is a lie, but we are what we think we are. What we consider to be out of our reach starts as a simple thought. We are the ones who create invisible boundaries.

In other words, we convince ourselves that we are this and this and that, and that’s it. That’s all that we’ll ever be.

“I’m a writer.”

“I’m a singer.”

“I’m an accountant.”

You tell people you feel lonely, you tell people you don’t like going out, you tell people you’re a pessimist. You think and you think and you define yourself and you’re only going to act according to your definition. Continue reading

When Okay Is Not Enough

okay

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: We all want everything to be okay. We don’t even wish so much for fantastic or marvelous or outstanding. We will happily settle for okay, because most of the time, okay is enough.”David Levithan

Let me tell you something about myself: I’ve never really settled for okay. Yes, okay is good. For a while. But there’s always something to ruin it… there’s always something waiting to ruin our lives… Continue reading

Afraid of Heights

I’ve always been afraid of heights. Just imagining looking down over a ledge at this great abyss was enough to make me dizzy…

I have always been afraid of falling. Of failing. Of being rejected, criticized. Of being ridiculed, ignored, despised, laughed at.

I’ve always been afraid. Of heights, of spiders and bugs, of dogs, of other people, of getting hurt, of pain, of suffering…

I was born weak. Fragile. Bad eyes, bad health, bad posture… when it came to first impressions… I suffered from what folks like to call social anxiety – I just wasn’t good around people. I lived inside my head. I despised going out. I despised talking to others.

From my father, I understood that I was dumb, ugly, and a failure at everything. I understood that I was afraid of so many thing, because greatness hadn’t been bestowed upon me.

I wrote, yes, but no one bothered to read my words. My stories. I kept writing nonetheless.

A part of me hoped that my words would make me feel less invisible. Would make this pain go away. Would stop me being afraid. Would silence these voices that kept telling me that I was too dumb, too weak, too ugly to succeed. To be happy. To smile. To laugh.

It was just me and my words. For a long and silent time.

Then, my first week of high school – among all the new things to suddenly be afraid of – one of my teachers asked to read a story of mine. This teacher looked me in the eye and told me I was talented.

And I decided to be talented.