Self-confidence can also be described as a debilitating fear of failure. And the main thing that has kept me from pursuing my dreams for many, many years.
It’s something we all face, at least to some degree.
But how do you boost your self-confidence?
How do you grow out of the person that you are in order to become who you want to be?
“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”
― Randy Pausch
Most of my time is spent trying to figure out ways to overcome failure. To me, failure is the default. Whenever I become complacent, whenever I take things for granted, whenever I become bored or lazy, there’s some failure to wake me up a bit.
Failure is the default.
“People should know when they are conquered.
Would you, Quintus? Would I?” – Gladiator
There are many things you can do to another person. You can defeat them, time and time again, you can conquer them, control them, inflict pain upon them. But you can never destroy them. Not entirely. They tend to hold on to that last remaining piece of their humanity, not matter how broken their hearts are, and they don’t want to let go.
People don’t know when they’re being conquered. They just can’t accept a definitive defeat.
And, yet, in a world where so few have what it takes to be brave, in a world where few are capable of recognizing courage, there are a lot of people who’d like to avoid fighting any battles at all. They stare at the mountain and they say to themselves that there’s no point in trying to climb to the top. They avoid conflict at any cost. Continue reading
In the great movie “The Lion in Winter”, Richard and his brothers Geoffrey and John are waiting to be executed by their father, King Henry II of England.
Richard says, “He won’t get any satisfaction out of me. He won’t see me beg.”
To which Geoffrey replies, “You chivalric fool! As if the way one fell down mattered.”
Richard offers a brilliant answer: “When the fall is all there is, it matters.”
“Finally, in SEAL training there is a bell. A brass bell that hangs in the center of the compound for all the students to see. All you have to do to quit is ring the bell.
Ring the bell and you no longer have to wake up at 5 o’clock. Ring the bell and you no longer have to do the freezing cold swims. Ring the bell and you no longer have to do the runs, the obstacle course, the PT — and you no longer have to endure the hardships of training. Just ring the bell.
If you want to change the world don’t ever, ever ring the bell.” – Adm. McRaven
If I were to ask of you to knock at a wall until it turns into a door, what would you do? What would you say to me? What would you think of the situation itself?
Pretty ridiculous, right?
No person in their right mind would ever attempt such a thing. Yet life often provides us with such walls. Granted, we tend to build them ourselves. But sometimes they’re built by those around us. We are constantly being told how the world works, what is our place in it, and what rules must be obeyed.
We are told what can be done, what can’t, what shouldn’t even be attempted.
So, yes, a lot of times in life you get to be in front of a wall, and all that you want is on the other side. And you cannot climb over it, walk around it…
And you must knock until it turns into a door… Continue reading
For as long as I can remember I’ve been fascinated by people who are phenomenal at what they do; especially those who are success in more than one area of their life.
After all, my first ever “big dream” was when I was seven or so years old, and I wanted to change my name into Chris Packlem, and become the richest man ever.
Funny how things change over time. Or better said, how we change.
But how do successful people do all that they do?
Over the years I’ve read the books written by/about the highly successful, watched interviews, read their blogs, etc.
And I’ve learned that successful people are not more intelligent, or just lucky, or born into the right family.
But they do certain things differently than other folks. Continue reading
The only calibration that counts is how much heart people invest, how much they ignore their fears of being hurt or caught out or humiliated. And the only thing people regret is that they didn’t live boldly enough, that they didn’t invest enough heart, didn’t love enough. Nothing else really counts at all. – Ted Hughes
You’re going to die. No, this is not some metaphorical bullshit. You are going to die. They are going to plant you in the ground, and all that you are will decay until there’s nothing left. Your bones will turn to dust and that dust will get carried on through the ages.
Your time on this earth is limited. How do you want to spend it? Think about it. I mean, really think about it.
Lukewarm is no good. Being fearful is not worth it. Worrying about what other people think or say or do. Talking to yourself in a negative tone, telling yourself bullshit stories of why you can’t do it, complaining that life is hard. No shit, life’s hard. It’s meant to be like that. Continue reading