Depression. Suicide. Courage.

The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling. – David Foster Wallace

Written by someone who ended up hanging himself, I think he knew what he was talking about.

Deciding to end one’s life needs quite a lot of contemplating on the subject. And, truth of the matter, we could debate the accuracy of such a description and all aspects of depression and suicide until the end of time, without arriving at a certain conclusion.

Maybe it’s got to do with emotional resilience. Maybe it’s got to do with neurological damage, with hormones and stuff. Continue reading

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A Lesson: On Depression, Emotional Resilience, and Heartbreaks

“Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he’s depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, “Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up.” Man bursts into tears. Says, “But doctor…I am Pagliacci.” ― Alan Moore

You know the saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover?”

Well, it’s true.

Oftentimes there’s a big difference between what we’re able to decipher about a person, what we see at the surface, and what lies underneath it all. There’s a big difference between appearance and essence.

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On Feeling Broken

“When you are the anvil, be patient. When you are the hammer, strike.” Arabian Proverb

I have this defect. One of my legs. Nothing too crazy, it just makes me walk in a funny way.

I also don’t have the most symmetric of faces.

I used to weight some 55kg at a height of 175 cm.

I’ve been sick of one thing or another ever since I can remember. Spent a lot of time in hospitals.

I’ve been alone for almost all my life.

I’ve been depressed, socially anxious, lonely, tired, so, so tired, I’ve been suicidal, self-destructive, selfish, and a real pain in the ass for a lot of people.

I spent eight years writing without earning a dime, being constantly told to give up on my dreams. Continue reading

Simple Tips to Boost Your Productivity Tenfold

What if I were to tell you that doing just one thing could boos your productivity tenfold?

If each day, for an entire year, you woke up an hour earlier than needed and invested that time in yourself, what would happen?

If you spent that hour doing whatever you wanted to, as long as it was self-focused and involved activities that are meant to engage your brain.

That’s all it takes to improve your overall physical and mental well-being, to skyrocket your productivity, motivation, to boost your mood.

Each day’s hour can also be different. It should just be working toward becoming a more thoughtful, livelier, and more positive person.

The following are key themes of how you can spend that time to yield the best results. Continue reading

How Earl Nightingale’s 12 Rules Can Help You Succeed In Life

It’s probably no big secret that I am a firm believer in personal development. That’s one way to explain it, I guess. It means that I listen to motivational speeches while I work, read everything from popular self-help books to psychology and NLP, and tried all sorts of stuff to get to be more focused, more energetic, and motivated to achieve my goals.

That being said, this list of twelve rules is something that I just have to share with you.  Continue reading

We Are The People

“Where are the people?” resumed the little prince at last. “It’s a little lonely in the desert…”

“It is lonely when you’re among people, too,” said the snake.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

It is said loneliness does not mean having no one around. Being utterly and inconsolably alone. No. Loneliness is the inability to communicate what you feel is important to those around you. Being constantly misunderstood.

Funny.

They say birds of a feather flock together. They say that we become alike the five people we spend most time with. Yet, sometimes, we find ourselves among people who make us feel lonely.

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The Power of Reframing

Success is this: the ability to play the hand you’re dealt like it’s the hand you wanted.

Life is kind of unpredictable. Roller-coaster from hell gone mad kind of unpredictable. Lots and lots of ups and downs, of stress, of pain and suffering and obstacles. Also, our minds play tricks on us and it seems that it is far easier to focus on the bad, on what we have yet to have, on faults and flaws, on the bad memories. Continue reading