The Power of Reframing

Success is this: the ability to play the hand you’re dealt like it’s the hand you wanted.

Life is kind of unpredictable. Roller-coaster from hell gone mad kind of unpredictable. Lots and lots of ups and downs, of stress, of pain and suffering and obstacles. Also, our minds play tricks on us and it seems that it is far easier to focus on the bad, on what we have yet to have, on faults and flaws, on the bad memories. Continue reading

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Kill Them With Kindness

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” —  Martin Luther King Jr.

Being mean to someone else, particularly when dealing with situations in which the other person is displaying incompetence, is effortless and often quite effective. The result is that you’ve probably ruined their day. It can be difficult to keep cool in such situations, especially when you feel your precious time being wasted, but that’s the thing about being kind: it’s not supposed to be easy.

There’s often a choice to be made: efficient reproach, or less effective, patient kindness.

By choosing the latter, you’ve made the world a slightly better place.

After all, one cannot be kind unless is kind towards those who least deserve it. Continue reading

To Whom It May Concern…

letter

I’m twenty eight years old, and in that short time frame I’ve learned that life is rarely fair. But it goes on. Whether we like it or not, life goes on.

Maybe we live in a dangerous world. Maybe this world has always been “unsafe” for those who weren’t sure what to do.

And I’d like to tell you there’s nothing to be afraid of, I’d like to tell you that failures build a man, that every fall is also a step forward. That what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…

But the truth is that, most times, what doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did. Continue reading

Depression is a Luxury

First of all, I’d like to say that I have been that guy. The loser. Depressed, suicidal, yet doing my best to motivate others. The words I wrote were for myself, for those like myself, and for those who could, one day, end up like me.

That being said, I believe in every single word spoken in that video. I understand the principles at work, I have lived in comfort (and depression), I have desired comfort, and the more I wanted comfort, the more discomfort I had in my life.

If you are inclined to disagree with me, or feel that I am insensitive to people’s mental health, I do urge you to listen Joe Rogan in this video, then try to see it in a less civilized manner. See yourself as less than human, and a bit more animal, and see that happiness and mental well-being is the result of overcoming struggles, not avoiding them. Continue reading

Alone/Lonely

“We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and — in spite of True Romance magazines — we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely — at least, not all the time — but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don’t see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.” Hunter S. Thompson

Being alone and feeling lonely are separated by one thing: your perception of the situation. Which, of course, can be changed, but most of the times is a subconscious decision that appears to be out of your control.

My own loneliness is a contradictory issue. I have to be alone, I need to be alone, and I love being alone. I can write, I can enjoy the silence for longer periods of time than almost anyone else I ever met. I can only find myself when I am all alone in a silent room. I go out with people, act silly and whatnot for a couple of hours, all the while longing to go back home and be all by myself. I’ve been at parties and wanted nothing more than to go home, where there’s no one waiting but the hope of finding myself again.

Continue reading

Warning: Your Belief in The So-Called “Work-Life Balance” Is Actually Ruining Your Life

Work-life balance. Financial freedom. Self-help. Motivation. Lifestyle advice.

The “ten minutes” this or that. The “five steps to” this or that. The easy way. The shortcut you never knew needed.

Building a life you’re proud of.

Somehow managing to come up with more than twenty four hours in a day, so you get to do all the things you want to do. Yay!

There are an awful lot of gurus out there telling you that life can be easy, if only… Continue reading

What Does it Mean to ACTUALLY Love Yourself?

Back during the Dark Ages one was required to take into consideration what others thought of them. Individuality, personal space, all of them did not matter that much. You were required to defend your honor. What others said about you, you either had to accept as truth, or fight to prove it as a lie.

Quite different from the way we see ourselves today, right?

Kids have their own rooms, their own private spaces. They are told to love themselves, to not care what others think of them.

Someone else’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.

Something like that.

But what if they’re right?

What if it’s best to live in a social environment and try to understand why others might not like you? Why others might say bad things about you… Continue reading