This Is Why You Need to Hit Rock Bottom in Order to Rebuild Yourself

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Rock bottom is never the end. It’s only the beginning.

“When this ultimate crisis comes… when there is no way out — that is the very moment when we explode from within and the totally other emerges: the sudden surfacing of a strength, a security of unknown origin, welling up from beyond reason, rational expectation, and hope.”

Émile Durkheim

I remember watching one of Jim Rohn’s speeches. He was sharing with the audience the story of being 25, a college graduate, freshly married, and not being able to afford to pay the girl scouts who knocked at his door to sell him cookies.

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The 5 People Who Will Break Your Heart in Your 20s

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Ah, your twenties. A decade of marvelous growth, decadent spending, and quite a few heartbreaks. Just like the 1920s.

That’s when you figure out a lot about life. What your teachers didn’t want to tell you, didn’t like to tell you, or didn’t know enough about to tell you.

That’s when you’ll probably fall in and out of love with life, with your soulmate, with your passion. That’s when you will get your heart broken, and when you should fail at something you were passionate about.

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8 Simple Ways to Slowly Ruin Your Life

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We fall in love with fairytales because they promise us, “happily ever after.”

One of the most toxic mindsets that we can fall in love with is that of desiring completion. This fantasy that, once we reach the top of the mountain, our lives are going to be perfect.

As I am often too fond of quoting, life is pain. And anyone who tells you differently is trying to sell you something. And make no mistake, some folks make quite a bit of money by selling you this idea, by making you waste your time waiting for the weekend, for a vacation, for retirement, or for heaven.

There is no completion. There is no top of the mountain.

You know why?

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The Art of Living as if You’re Going to Die Tomorrow

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They say we are capable of experiencing millions of different mental states, yet we waste most of our life cycling through the same five or six of them.

There are around 200 countries in the world, yet one in five people never travel to another country. They also tend to die within a fifty-mile radius of where they were born.

The average person spends eight hours per day sleeping, six hours watching television, and more hours than I’d care to count rewatching the same movies and TV shows, reading the same books over and over again.

The average woman will kiss 15 men, enjoy two long-term relationships, and have her heartbroken twice before she finds someone she can settle with. The average woman will have seven sexual partners, while the average man ten.

I, too, am guilty of most of these things. I have wasted most of my twenties by being depressed, socially anxious, broke, single.

I have wasted three years of my life wishing for someone who didn’t love me to come back.

I only ever traveled to England for a total of ten days. Once.

I, too, have rewatched the same movies, over and over again, with different people or all by myself.

And I, too, have been reading The Great Gatsby once a year ever for the past decade or so.

But more tragically than all of that, I have wasted an awful lot of time vacationing on Someday Island.

“Someday I’ll be a published author. Someday I’ll find the love of my life. Someday I’ll be financially free.”

Someday…

And you know what makes someday such a perverse word? We often couple it with “if only.”

We lose hope before we even embark on the journey.

And that’s how we waste our time.

The truth is that life’s a beautiful thing. Yeah, life’s pain. But it’s the kind of pain that reminds you that you are alive.

It would be quite terrible to live forever because then we’d all be kings and queens of procrastination.

You’re going to die. And I don’t say this to make you panic or anything. The panic will grow inside you, as your time runs out, as you grow tired and weary and unable to do what you’ve always wanted to do but postponed.

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Don’t Turn Your Back on Mental Discomfort

What happens when you venture into the center of your fears

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What often stands in the way of our dreams and goals is an innate, biological reaction to anything unknown, anything that might get us killed, hurt, or rejected by others.

In short, the lizard brain.

Not only do we turn our backs on fear, but we also tend to rationalize it in such a way that it makes it seem like nothing happened.

In order to avoid mental pain, we come up with the most bizarre excuses possible.

I don’t have a driver’s license because I don’t like to drive. Truth is, I never believed I could save enough money to buy a car, so I rationalized myself out of mental discomfort.

The truth? I was afraid.

So what can I do about fear? Not in a temporary manner, but rather in a way that changes me from the inside and transforms my life?

It’s simple. I should make it my aim to never turn my back on mental discomfort.

Life is pain, and I should accept it and even learn to appreciate the moments of fear and discomfort as they allow me to better myself.

The game of life is simple: we either venture into the center of our fears, and we grow, or we turn our backs on fear, and we stagnate or worse.

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If You’re Not Drowning…You’re a Lifeguard

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When we think of wealth, we begin with one number: a million.

Let’s say a million dollars. To most people, that’s a lot of money.

In Monaco, it buys you a closet. In Chelsea, London, a garage. In Los Angeles, you might buy a one-bedroom apartment.

A million dollars allows you to purchase 27 Tesla Model 3. Or you can use the same million to buy almost one-third of a Bugatti Chiron.

There’s this old joke about a guy winning the lottery. Obviously, reporters come to his house.

“What are you going to do with the money?” the reporters ask him.

“I’m going to pay my debts.”

“And with the rest?” they inquire.

“Well, the rest will have to wait.”

Poor and rich are mindsets. Abundance and scarcity are mindsets. Two sides of the same coin. We often find ourselves traveling along the edge of the coin, trying to decide.

“Is it enough? Do I need more?”

Do we ever come up with a “yes” followed by a “no” to those two questions?

Seth Godin once wrote a remarkable short piece that ended with the following words, If you’re not drowning, you’re a lifeguard.

It made me think.

If we’re not drowning, it’s our responsibility to help others.

Most of us aren’t drowning. We’re not. We have a roof over our head, we have stable and fast access to the internet, and we earn enough to pay the bills, to go on a vacation or two every year.

We’re not rich, but we’re not poor either.

Yet, regardless of how much money people have, or how much they earn, most of them are not enjoying the benefits of a mindset that revolves around abundance.

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Don’t You Dare Give Up on Your Dreams

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“Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” — Ambrose Redmon

I began writing in my most vulnerable years. I was dumb and arrogant, as most teenagers seem to be, and I did my best to pour greatness into every sentence I wrote.

But I was also lying to myself, writing about what I didn’t know, pretending to know, and I got caught and people could see that I wasn’t willing to let them in — I was building this wall to protect my true self from anyone who would be searching for it behind my words. There was nothing that belonged to me in the stories I wrote.

There’s this poem by a Romanian poet, Mihai Eminescu. It’s called To My Critics, and the last verses go like this:

It is easy to write verses
Out of nothing but the word.

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Who the F$#k Is Cristian Mihai?

The author of this article, age 8

When I was a kid, I thought I was destined for great things. I was born on Christmas Day, exactly one year after they shot Ceausescu, the only ruler of a Communist country to ever be executed. Now, in the same spot, they’re building a shopping mall.

Maybe because I was born when I was born, I don’t really listen to what other people tell me I should do. I never did.

I don’t like authority. I don’t like to follow rules.

I am not afraid of the consequences of not doing what I am told. I am not where I’d like to be in life because I don’t like most people. I have long suspected they don’t like me back.

I am a rebel without a cause, garnering a bit of applause here and there from those who read my stories.

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Stop Waiting for Inspiration

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Haruki Murakami is one of the most celebrated authors of our time. He is also a man of tremendous focus and discipline. He wakes up at 4 a.m. and writes for 5 or so hours. Every single day.

Kurt Vonnegut would wake up at 5:30 a.m. work until 8 a.m., eat breakfast, and then work a couple more hours.

J.M. Coetzee, the 2003 Nobel Prize Laureate, supposedly spends at least one hour at his desk, every morning, without fail.

Franz Kafka, one of the most influential writers of the past century, would work each night from 11 p.m. until early in the morning.

Maya Angelou used to write every morning from 6 a.m. to 2 p.m.

One of the most prevalent myths is that to do creative work, one must feel inspired. It’s not true.

We can always work, whether we feel inspired or not.

It’s all about developing a routine.

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The One Question You Should Always Ask Yourself Before Pursuing a Goal

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Goals are essential to our happiness. Working towards a worthy goal ensures that we live a life that is meaningful and fulfilling.

If so, why do we fail at most of our goals? Why do we struggle with motivation?

If our vision of the future is so compelling, if we know why we want it, if we know how to get it, then why do we struggle to do it?

I believe it all comes down to the fact that we never ask ourselves this simple question, a question that perhaps you don’t even want to think about, let alone answer.

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