About Defeats

0707ashc9 455x600“Somewhere in the world there is a defeat for everyone.”John Steinbeck

To paraphrase another American writer, life breaks us all. Whether we want it to or not. And, yes, some are stronger at the broken places. Some are not.

We are defeated simply because there’s a lot more to learn from defeat than from victory. Grief, pain, and anger only serve as lessons.

It’s necessary. For us to evolve, for us to ask ourselves if it’s in our powers to change something.

About ourselves. About the world around us. Or the people in it.

You know the saying that the only true constant in life is change? Well… oftentimes change is painful. We are still terrified by the unknown, by what it represents. Continue reading

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The Edge

Once or twice in your life you find yourself at the edge of everything you ever believed, felt, or trusted. It’s such a terrifying position to be in. Fear, guilt, and doubt cast a dark shadow on your freedom, and it does seem there’s nothing to do.

Of course, the irony is that you can’t spend too much time in this position without understanding some (or most) of the things that need to be understood. Continue reading

Stranger Than Fiction

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Do you know that terrible cliche about life being stranger than fiction?

Why do we hate cliches so much anyways?

Maybe it’s because they tend to express an impossibly to deny truth. One that has to be remembered over and over again. Continue reading

We Only Have What We Give

“We only have what we give.”Isabel Allende

Even though at times it doesn’t seem so, all we are in this world is what we give. Your employer pays you according to your contribution to the firm, the people around you love and respect you according to the effort you put into building and maintaining those relationships.

The world is but a mirror.

What we give to the world becomes our legacy. What we give becomes the one thing people will never forget.

If you aspire to leave the world better than you found it, you’ll be successful. Continue reading

What Doesn’t Kill You…

…usually makes you wish it did.

Letting go or holding on. Two of our most defining reactions. And they couldn’t be more different.

Holding on to pain(or the memory of it), holding on to regret, to bitterness…

We waste an awful lot of energy thinking about the past -as if we didn’t know that it can’t be changed. We hold on tight to that which can never be changed. It is all a matter of choice. Strength, courage, dignity, all of them are choices. In fact, we choose who we are every single day. Even our most simple of decisions end up shaping who we are.

But, ultimately, the truth is that you are who you decide to be. You are what you think, what you feel, what you say, what you do. Continue reading

Connect The Dots

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward you can only connect them looking backwards. 

So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. 

You have to trust in something: your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. 

Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path.” — Steve Jobs

Fourteen years ago someone read one of my stories.

They didn’t like it. They told me to give up and do something else.

And this made me angry.

Continue reading

Karl Lagerfeld’s Cat

“If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery, it would not seem so wonderful at all.”
Michelangelo Buonarroti

Choupette, Karl Lagerfeld’s cat, could inherit her owner’s fortune, after his death yesterday at the age of 85.

Now, people are usually quick to dismiss this as some sort of eccentric behavior of the rich and famous, but… I urge you to imagine the life of someone who’s closest connection was with a cat. A cat. And someone with quite a lot of money and influence and status and all that…

I think this is the reason envy is such a stupid thing. You can have all the money in the world, yet no one loves you. You can be the hardest worker in the room, yet no one genuinely trusts you. You can have a great career, and be miserable in your love life.

For everything we gain, we must sacrifice something else.

Do you want to conquer the world? Odds are you will die young, tired, broken, defeated and alone by the weight of the world constantly pressing on your shoulders. Continue reading